Careco Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 So, I joined this site last week, I've gotten a ton of great information already. Like, I'm happy. Expect... (Warning, I'm gonna start rambling now.) I saw my psychologist/therapist/whateverdude today. Usually talking to him has actually helped me a lot and stuff, but today... I really felt frustrated after an appointment. Like I want to break something and sleep for a week at the same time - frustrated. He wanted to talk about when I mentioned to him that I might be asexual, he dismissed it back then, but now... He treated it like it was a problem. I tried to explain it to him, but he kinda... rejected everything what I had to say. Though, I'm not good at explaining or talking at all actually, my voice goes all weird and I can't find words, which causes me to say "I don't know" a lot and I start rambling and stuttering, so I usually don't sound very convincing. So I finally just said firmly (hah, kinda) that it's not a problem. So, in the end he now thinks that I use the word 'asexual' to run away from my "problem" that I don't want to know or solve. There is no problem or cause that waits to be solved. I don't want sex, simple as that, I'm happy. (Expect now I kinda want to bang my head against a wall.) I'm also frustrated in my inability to form proper sentences while I'm talking. I kinda just wanted to share (rant) this to somebody, so.. sorry? Link to post Share on other sites
TheSmokingSkellie Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 No need to be sorry. Just had to get it off your chest. Link to post Share on other sites
Pamalla-Shay Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 well get a new therapist simple as that, because he clearly doesn't get it Link to post Share on other sites
JMichael Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 This is a great place to rant when our support people aren't supportive. You're not broken. I hope that you get the support you need. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 My first (well, technically second, but there was a separation period of like 10+ years) therapist basically did that too with regard to my asexuality. It had literally zero to do with the reason why I was seeing a therapist in the first place (I really only mentioned it for the sake of introductions), but he tried to make it something significant. I didn't keep seeing him past the second session. The core of a therapist's job is to listen, and if they can't even do that right... there's no real reason for me to be there. If I want to talk to something that doesn't want to listen, I can go talk to a wall. It's sure cheaper, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
wussa Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 I think it would be a good idea to refer him to this website or maybe even print out a pamphlet or something, that way if he asks you again you won't have to talk about it as much and maybe he'll learn something from the resources they have here. I would also tell him that you being asexual is your orientation and not an issue you feel needs to be fixed. I hope you're able to resolve this issue, good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Asexuality and the DSM 5 (not a thing in Finland, but it's there)http://www.asexualityarchive.com/asexuality-in-the-dsm-5/ Asexuality and Behavioral Health from Asexual Survivors [of sexual violence and assault]http://asexualsurvivors.org/get-help/find-a-therapist/ There's a PDF with information for therapists on this site. Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Well, all I can say is that the therapist needs to start to understand asexuality, trouble is, not many people have even heard of the term asexual let alone understanding what it means, I'm 51, my mother still says "oh you just haven't found the right one yet" I've been single since early 1991 I think the therapist needs therapy training issues, you're clearly aware of your orientation Link to post Share on other sites
drjohnhwatson Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 If he continues to dismiss what you say, you might want to look into getting a new therapist if you can. If you can't, or if you wish to, you can always write something down that expresses your feelings and thoughts on the subject beforehand and read it out to him. That way you'd be less likely to get flustered and stammer, saying that you don't know and the like. Good luck regardless to your endeavours!! . Link to post Share on other sites
Careco Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 I think I will try to write things down, I actually used to do that in the past. Thanks! : ] I know therapists try to make you think and sort your life out and all, now this was just unnecessary. But it really felt like a slap in the face. Link to post Share on other sites
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