Lord Pocky Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 I went by so many different names that I was scared of getting their opinion on which name to choose cause I felt as though I were annoying them. XD also, I use he/him and they/them pronouns yet am 90-100% mentally a boy (gimme da parts!) so I'm wondering if I'm a bit nonbinary as well? Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 I hate my birth name because teachers used to mispell it and kids used to make fun of it. And I meet new people and they're like, "that's a pretty name" and I have to hold back from saying, "no, it's stupid and girly and hard to pronounce" Jordan sounds cool, and it's also kinda gender-neutral! Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 @StormySky thanks! Yeah, I got my birth name pronounced incorrectly so many times throughout elementary and middle school. And yeah, I noticed that my names a bit neutral so that's neat! Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 1 hour ago, Iced Milk Boy said: also, I use he/him and they/them pronouns yet am 90-100% mentally a boy (gimme da parts!) so I'm wondering if I'm a bit nonbinary as well? I'm like that, except my desire for the parts are quite low. I got an STP packer last week and I've been finding it quite awkward to have something in my underwear like that. I just want the practical part, standing and peeing, really. 1 hour ago, StormySky said: I hate my birth name because teachers used to mispell it and kids used to make fun of it. And I meet new people and they're like, "that's a pretty name" and I have to hold back from saying, "no, it's stupid and girly and hard to pronounce" Jordan sounds cool, and it's also kinda gender-neutral! My name got misspelled a lot and it irked me. People often asked me when I say it whether it's spelled with a C or a K. I was really pushy about it starting with a C because K sounded too girly to me. Now my name still starts with a C, and can still be misspelled with a K. My name is merely a philosophizing comic book character. Can't I just not need to correct people's spellings on it anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted November 14, 2017 Author Share Posted November 14, 2017 4 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: I just want the practical part, standing and peeing, really That's all I want a dick for too! I'm not using it for sex, I just wanna piss in a urinal (or maybe a bush i case of outside emergencies) cause squatting is so weird! Mm, is it possible for one to be both nonbinary & ftm? Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 Just now, Iced Milk Boy said: That's all I want a dick for too! I'm not using it for sex, I just wanna piss in a urinal (or maybe a bush i case of outside emergencies) cause squatting is so weird! Mm, is it possible for one to be both nonbinary & ftm? I don't see why not. When I was first coming out, I was an androgynous ftm. I knew something about me didn't seem 100% male. Now I'm transmasculine like 95% of the time (and it's a term that I kept coming back to even when I tried changing it). I had dysphoria about male stuff twice so I'll consider that to be the 5% non-binary part. I'm still kind of a feminine guy at some degree anyway, due to the stuff I like to do that is gender coded female. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted November 14, 2017 Author Share Posted November 14, 2017 Mm, I know that I'm 100% male. Yet I don't mind if I'm referred to as they/them cause it's neutral. I go with he/him yet they/them doesn't bother me. If I were born a boy, (physically) I'd be a lot happier with myself. When I was growing up, I hung out around my three male cousins and older brother. Before puberty, I believed that I'd grow just like them, with the same parts and voice. But, when puberty hit, none of that happened and I was very sad and confused! Puberty sucked, I wanna go back to being a flat chested spazz child who loves food and watching my bro play video games! Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 Perhaps I'm just afraid to be binary male because of toxic masculinity. That probably clouds my ideas a little. I'm primarily referred to and seen as male, which I don't mind. For pronouns, I notice really hard when someone calls me he or they. She just disgusts me, so I guess I'm going with the ones that don't make me dysphoric. I think when I started using he, I felt a lot of euphoria, but I think it's died down. I think if I was born with a penis, I might be more indifferent about it. I don't really desire having one, but lately I just felt like peeing while standing would be a lot easier. I remember trying to hang out with guys in elementary school and getting turned down for sexist reasons. So I had to hang with girls on the playground, and even then they seemed too girly for me. Once in a while I'd be able to play with the guys. They owned the class rubber balls practically. I knew before starting puberty that I didn't want boobs or a period. I talked to my mom about how one of my aunts didn't have boobs, so maybe I won't have periods. She said that I couldn't have kids then. I just said oh. Since I was a late bloomer, I guess I can't complain that I managed to hold off starting periods for that long. Now I'm period-less again, a little after 9.5 years, which I don't regret, since it's my main reason for wanting T. I just want more muscles and no periods. I didn't think about top surgery before, since I'm small enough to hide them, so I'm less dysphoric than if I had big ones. (I know, I had a nightmare about having huge boobs.) But something recently made me want to just be flat again. I started considering the possibility of surgery a couple months ago, after 2 years of saying, nah, I don't need it. Plus I decided to get a massage yesterday, and the masseuse saw them. No one has really seen my chest besides me since I started growing them. Even getting touched by the TSA gets a bit uncomfortable. But even then, with surgery, I have to get used to being comfortable not wearing a shirt. That's going to take some rehabilitation too. If I were to get surgery, I'm planning to have a December one, like most people, so that they don't have to spend school/work days on it. I just started making money and don't know if I have enough, plus my parents would freak out about it (don't want to know how mom would react to me getting a packer), so I'd need a place to stay for at least 2 weeks. It would be a lot of work. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted November 14, 2017 Author Share Posted November 14, 2017 @nerdperson777 damn that's a lot of words! Hope everything goes smoothly from here on out. I'm debating bottom surgery since I heard it can be a difficult procedure and could possibly cause problems in the future, but I definitely want top surgery. I believe my cup size is a c 36? I don't remember, but it's a c cup and I honestly wish I had an A cup. Im heading off to bed, night! Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 Just now, Iced Milk Boy said: @nerdperson777 damn that's a lot of words! Hope everything goes smoothly from here on out. I'm debating bottom surgery since I heard it can be a difficult procedure and could possibly cause problems in the future, but I definitely want top surgery. I believe my cup size is a c 36? I don't remember, but it's a c cup and I honestly wish I had an A cup. Im heading off to bed, night! I don't actually care about bottom surgery since I don't get to see the physical parts. As long as I don't have periods anymore, I'm good. Hysterectomy really is a complicated procedure. If I do end up considering it, I'd just remove the uterus, since I'm not planning on carrying any babies. As with many bottom surgeries for any AGAB, it's a big thing. I personally think AMAB people have better surgeries while AFAB people have better reactions to hormones. Phalloplasty still looks like it has a while to go before it's like the AMAB one. My size is 34A, last time I checked, maybe even smaller from T now. Idk, my mom cleaned up my room while I was gone and probably took the bras for herself, since she is the same size. I've kind of been a bra fairy to my transgirl friends, haha. I'd call it that subtle amount that's enough to be noticeable, yet can be easily hidden. I remember only having to slouch just a slight bit to hide them. Since I'm dysphoric about my chest now, I think I have to wear more binders again. I'm not sure if I should just get surgery or can work off the fat in there. There's a guy on YouTube that really built himself up in the upper body after surgery. Now that's some good results. Good night dude! Link to post Share on other sites
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