Mikotokitty Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 So I'm back into a questioning phase again. I'll try to word this the best I can but it's gonna be messy. I'm trans(ftm), and I've started transition. With that comes a load of stuff while on T, like sex drive, confidence, and not wanting to crawl out of my skin. And I'm wondering if it is affecting my orientation. I found out about asexuality a couple of years ago and immediately knew it described how I felt all these years, the trans thing took a little longer. I'm aroace and I experience aesthetic attraction, but it has always been more heavily towards men. I don't know where the line is between being envious of other guys or actually being attracted to them. It's just my sexual orientation, I'm concrete in my aromanticism. I was never able to consume straight or lesbian porn, so gay porn is not anything new, but I've found lately that I wander over to actual porn(instead of stories or yaoi). And while doing such I get more invested in it? Like, beforehand I had the approach like autochorrisexuality, but now I find myself putting myself in those situations, and fantasizing about being in sexual situations with them or the gay guys I've met at uni. I'm at the point where I guess I'm asexual but I want to do very gay things(tm). I have no trouble hanging out with gay guys and agreeing on a lot things (i.e someone hot pops up, I have no trouble in calling him hot). But I don't know if it's actually sexual attraction, idk what that feels like. There are moments where I'm doubting myself, but a majority of the time I'm like yeah, super asexual. Do I really enjoy seeing guys because I really want what they have, or do I feel attracted to them? Am I too attached to being asexual, because I've been 100% certain about that describing me to a T before I even started T (hah). I think if I was cis I would be gay, if I had to choose who to be sexual with it would of course be men. Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 That's even harder for us to tell than for yourself. We only know your feelings second-hand, from you post. You actually experience them. Have you looked at the different types of attraction, to figure out whether what you're feeling is sexual or sensual? http://wiki.asexuality.org/Attraction Link to post Share on other sites
Mikotokitty Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 Quote I don't know what I'm feeling. Pretty sure it's sexual though. I mean as far as what I kinda want to do with other guys. Idk how much of my transness is maybe getting in the way. Link to post Share on other sites
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