What's your limit sexually?

[MrDane]

21 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Asexuality =/= dislikes or hates sex

No, not necessary! But to much indifference can also turn someone like warsaw to bored and what when warsaw would rather read a book than make his wife happy? Could turn into a problem. Hopefully it wont.

20 hours ago, Warsaw said:

I'm not repulsed, just very indifferent.  I would consider any sexual activities to be a gift to my partner and I would enjoy the fact that she enjoys it.  The act itself I could take or leave at any time, it doesn't matter to me.  I would have literally one mission, to make my girlfriend/wife happy.  Happy wife=happy life.

This is me and my ace-wife. A bit touch responsive though. But my guess is that she has a difficulty saying/feeling which sexual activity that she will be okay with. Sex will always require her to leave her comfort zone. Often returning as the sex is going on. Focus on the schedule and that it is more of a massage with a happy outcome for me, helps!

 

@Warsaw. You do it out of love, and hopefully this is what comes across.

[Warsaw]

22 minutes ago, MrDane said:

 

This is me and my ace-wife. A bit touch responsive though. But my guess is that she has a difficulty saying/feeling which sexual activity that she will be okay with. Sex will always require her to leave her comfort zone. Often returning as the sex is going on. Focus on the schedule and that it is more of a massage with a happy outcome for me, helps!

 

@Warsaw. You do it out of love, and hopefully this is what comes across.

I also think, treading carefully, that perhaps there is a gender difference as well for asexuals.  Biological women being in a more vulnerable position have to protect themselves more, while men generally don't, or not as much.  I get this.  This leads to more repulsion and less compromise especially if they associate sex with negative emotion.

 

Also no woman has made it past my patented glacial courtship process.  If any woman I was interested in did, I automatically lean toward making them happy.

 

Also the "wife/girlfriend" are hypothetical entities.

[maccready]

i'm not interested in anything sexual, the furthest i'd go is cuddling, holding hands and maybe some kissing (but not making out)

i'm just really indifferent about sex, it's more like a waste of time to me and i'd rather not XD i also don't want to do it just because someone else does. wouldn't be fair.

 

other than that, it's interesting to read other peoples' thoughts on this topic!

[dlnvu19]

If I'm 100% honest with myself, I actually prefer no physical touching whatsoever. Human touch, in general, makes me uncomfortable; specifically touch that crowds my "personal bubble" if you understand. I'm like this with everyone, though. Even family. And have been since I was a child (would always "snatch" away from the adults in the family trying to hug and kiss me as a child. I was always scolded for having "evil ways," too. But, I digress. 

 

I did give in to my 1st boyfriend's physical demands with regrettably little physical protest on my end and it caused me severe psychological and emotional distress years after it ended (still recovering actually). So I truly would never do that again and wouldn't recommend anyone "cave" just to satisfy anyone else. If sex, intimacy or anything is a deal breaker in a relationship and that deal breaker just so happens to be something you're not comfortable with, it's a wrap. Case closed. Just walk away, I say. Don't do that to yourself.

[rallyprint]

I don't think it'd bother me if a girlfriend wanted sex, so long as she didn't want it all the time (and we knew each other pretty well). Way I see it, if she's willing to do what I like (cuddling, kissing, fulfilling my mild clothing kinks), it's only fair that I return the favor.

[helana12_03]

Absolutely not. Second base is my limit. No sex of any kind and absolutely nothing that involves genitals. Kissing, cuddling and sharing a bed are ok.

 

As far as clothing and nudity go, two piece swimsuits are my absolute limit. I refuse to wear sexy lingerie or anything too revealing.  

[Mouse LPS]

I don't mind having sex even every single day just to please my boyfriend. I'm rather worried that my future relationship would collapse because of me not wanting it so I have no limit really 

[everywhere and nowhere]

21 hours ago, helana12_03 said:

Absolutely not. Second base is my limit. No sex of any kind and absolutely nothing that involves genitals. Kissing, cuddling and sharing a bed are ok.

 

As far as clothing and nudity go, two piece swimsuits are my absolute limit. I refuse to wear sexy lingerie or anything too revealing.  

What is second base? (And what are the others?)

[Warsaw]

2 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

What is second base? (And what are the others?)

1st base: kissing

2nd base: heavy petting

3rd base: oral

Home run: sex

[Warsaw]

Funny thing is tho, I would NEVER share a bed or preferably a room (I snore loudly and flail,) I don't like cuddling (too warm, my tolerance for heat is low,) and also like people to respect my personal space, don't particularly like touching (I currently hold a single exception for physical contact.)

 

I also don't like being romantic, and tend to give practical gifts (women hate this outright.)  For instance a metric socket set and spanners are a bad gift.

 

The most intimate thing I could do is give a woman access to my notebook detailing my supplies, weapons and ammunition, and my black book with my contacts if she ever found herself in an emergency and was under my families protective umbrella.  She would get the combination for my safe on our wedding night.  I consider this more intimate and profound then any sex act because she would then have access to my weaponry, and legal documents, and my emergency cash fund.

[sweetbitter]

If I were in a relationship with a non-asexual, probably I would be able to stand some kinds of kissing, either on the mouth or on the skin, and that's all. Anything that involves parts of the body that are below the belt is not an option. Also touching my breasts in a sexual way. It's not only because of my repulsion but also my beliefs - sexual interactions are reserved for marriages anyway. 

I'd rather break up with someone than do anything against myself. I believe that sex should be enjoyable for everyone taking part in it, only in that case it makes sense. If I were the sexual half of the relationship, it would probably feel wrong to me when my partner treated sex as an obligation or had it only for me. 

[LucindaC]

Hugging. I love hugging. I heard someone else in another thread describe it as being like a koala. Yeah, I guess that's me, but kissing etc just feels disgusting and unhygienic.

[Gloomy]

Casual eye contact is the furthest I'm comfortable going with other people. lol

[FaelynGrey]

Sex, kissing and sloppy messy bodily contact is out of the question. I can't share a bed with other people, but I don't mind cuddling under a blanket for a movie - clothes on, mind you. 

[AndanteCantabile]

For me, nothing involving anything beyond kissing on the lips. Definitely nothing that could be classified as sexual contact. It just makes me uncomfortable. 

[ver]

I'm not averse to the idea of having sex - I'm not repulsed by sex or anything like that. I just personally feel no drive or desire to seek out sex or engage in it - given the choice I'd rather just... not. If I was in a relationship with a sexual person however, I'd be willing to compromise. If anything, I'd like some physical intimacy (I like cuddling, kissing, some touching) to go along with my romantic relationships, otherwise I have trouble distinguishing between regular friendships and a "special"/romantic relationship.