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Can Sexuals Love Without Having Sex?


vega57

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44 minutes ago, Alejandrogynous said:

I think questions like these sorely misunderstand the problem. It's not that sexuals can't love without sex, it's that if their partner doesn't want sex with them, some sexuals will struggle to feel loved in return. Sex, to most people, is an expression of love, so asking 'can sexuals love without sex' is like asking 'can someone love someone that shows no affection.' To which the answer is yes, obviously, but that doesn't mean they'll always feel like their love is reciprocated. That's where the unhappiness starts.

This is very accurate. And that feeling of love not being reciprocated wears away at the love they (we) feel over time, just like compromising over sex for years can wear away at asexuals. It's a bit like sustaining an unrequited love for years. 

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On 11/11/2017 at 4:38 AM, FictoVore. said:

Depends on what you mean by love :P For example, I love my kids.. but... yeah. haha.

Oh god, yes, thank you. The premise of this thread seriously made me wonder. What kind of love are we talking about? Of course sexuals can experience platonic love without having sex.. like, how could you even question that if you've spent any amount of time in the real world? And, yes, if we're talking about the kind of love that specifically revolves around sex, then of course, for most sexuals that involves.. sex! Duh! Keep in mind, most sexuals don't actually experience romantic and sexual affection separately, to them it's the same thing, so sex is going to be an important part of that for them.

 

Now, a much better question to ask would be.. Why isn't platonic love more common? Why don't more people have QPRs and other important relationships that don't involve sex? My guess is that this comes down to cultural bias. You're expected to build a family around your sexual partner, not around a platonic one. I think if it were socially acceptable to have a primary relationship with a platonic partner, while meeting your sexual needs outside that, we'd be seeing a lot more of that.

 

On 11/11/2017 at 5:48 AM, Graceful said:

Sex is NOT *the* most important thing to most sexuals.

Look, I hate to disappoint, but for most sexuals, sex is what sets apart a relationship from a friendship. So, while sex might not be the most important thing to them in their life, it sure is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Personally, I don't feel that way, but I do recognize I'm the exception.

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5 hours ago, Tarfeather said:

Look, I hate to disappoint, but for most sexuals, sex is what sets apart a relationship from a friendship. So, while sex might not be the most important thing to them in their life, it sure is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Personally, I don't feel that way, but I do recognize I'm the exception.

I didn’t say it wasn’t important at all. But as a sexual and knowing (sexual) people outside of AVEN, it just isn’t as important as AVEN seems to think it is. It’s not number one priority for most people. I think most sexuals would rather have a loving sexless relationship than a sex filled but loveless one.

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