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IceHurricane

[TW] Masturbation & Arousal

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IceHurricane

I'm going to go a little TMI here, but I was wondering if this happens to others as well. 

 

I masturbate sometimes. Not because I have a 'need' or an 'urge', but because I'm bored, or I just happened to remember masturbation is a thing. Masturbation feels good, and I can orgasm, but I don't think I'm actually turned on. I can stop halfway through masturbating and I won't feel any different than I did before I started. I know that's not what it's like for most people. Once they get turned on, it's hard to ignore, they need a release. That doesn't happen to me. So I was thinking, am I really turned on when I touch myself? Is it possible to orgasm without actually being turned on? Or do they go hand in hand? 

 

I do get aroused sometimes. I get aroused by the anticipation of having sex (I'm sex favourable). Say, if I believe I'm likely to have sex with my girlfriend tonight, I might get aroused if she rubs my thigh or something. It's the anticipation that I might have sex. That arousal feels different than when I masturbate. It's strong, and it lingers. It's noticeable. I can ignore it, but it's there. I doubt it's as strong as most people when they're aroused, but I am aroused. When I masturbate, I don't feel that arousal. I feel pleasure because of the physical sensations of masturbation, and I can orgasm, but I don't feel aroused. 

 

Can anyone relate? I just thought it was an interesting observation. 

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Puck

Um, I wouldn't consider myself AT ALL an authority here, but I feel like it depends what you mean by "turned on"

 

If you mean aroused, I think you couldn't reach climax without being aroused. But there can be a disconnect between one's "parts" and the brain in terms of that arousal. It's particularly found in women where their parts might get aroused even if their brain is repulsed and the main theory on why that is is that it's a protection where if they get penetrated without their consent, it won't do as much damage (for the record, they may not necessarily orgasm during this un-concentual occurrence, but their body is trying to protect itself by getting wet to diminish damage). Of course, everyone's body is different so some might not have this disconnect, but it's certainly been noted.

 

But maybe that is not what you are feeling? Just something I've read about.

 

Also, our bodies of course crave being with another person because that is the basic point of sex; to be intimate with another person. So maybe you are just noticing the difference of when their is a really real, genuine connection with your partner and when you are just "cleaning the pipes" so-to-say.

 

I mean, I imagine things must be much less exciting along than with someone you care for, yes?

 

Also...

 

Moved from The Gray Area to The Sex Talk

 

Puck

Moderator for The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions and The Sex Talk

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Jade Cross

I would say that masturbation without arousal works the same as getting cut. If you cut yourself, even if you dont want to, it doesnt stop the body from reacting accordingly and bleeding, just as reaching an orgasm is not impossible even if youre not wanting to do it. 

 

 

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Snao Cone

Sometimes masturbation is just about physically letting off steam, like if I need to wear out my body and my mind to go to sleep. I get you on the stopping in the middle and that not affecting my mood. That happens to me all the time. For the most part I don't get into a situation or a state of mind. In my case the same applies to partnered sex, which is one reason I eventually considered I might be asexual.

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Philip027
Quote

Once they get turned on, it's hard to ignore, they need a release. That doesn't happen to me. So I was thinking, am I really turned on when I touch myself?

Yes.  It's just varying levels of willpower, one doesn't mean you're "turned on" any more or less than the other really.  Losing yourself in the act isn't some sort of requirement; there's plenty of people out there that don't and can still see sexual stimulation to completion just like anyone else.

 

I don't experience anything along these lines except with my partner (I have never felt compelled to do any of this sort of thing just on my own), so I can't really address the other part of the post as I don't really have a basis for comparison.

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