lux aeterna Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Sooooo hello, for everyone not knowing me, I sometimes write about a guy who works in an archery in the same house I live in. I live here now since four months and since day one I'm like: that is the prettiest guy I've ever seen. But nothing eveeeer happened, most likely because I have a very good "stay the fuck away frome me" face (at least that's what I think it is.... friends said I am right :D) and because he is ten years older maybe. It could all be, but I was always too wasted for further thought. I still am, but since a week or so I feel like maybe I should just say that I'm interested? I am sure he is not asexual at all, but I would just like to go on a date again after 2 1/2 years. I think because he showed no interest at all so far he will say no, but I feel like I should finally do it. Today the owner of the archery said they will move to a bigger place in three months, so it would only be embarassing for that amount of time Noooow to my question: You gals dare to ask a guy out? Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 No but I'm aro. There are hecka guys in all my classes because I'm majoring in physics, and now and then some are textbook "super attractive." But I don't want anything, I'll just admire that they went into a technical field (usually engineering) instead of capitalizing on their appearance and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Member4445 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 No because I’m very shy (I don’t buy into the whole traditional guy must ask girl out thing, it makes girls think they don’t have a choice) Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Definitely. I almost asked a guy to have lunch with me the other day - a guy I've never never met before. But I had no money on me and I was dealing with overcrowding at work and lost him The think is most guys are used to being the ones that have to ask the girl out, so they become more interested when a girl breaks the mold and asks them out instead. Don't be afraid to make the first move! Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Yeah, but I'm a grown woman. I'm too old to care what anyone thinks anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
lux aeterna Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Lichley said: Definitely. I almost asked a guy to have lunch with me the other day - a guy I've never never met before. But I had no money on me and I was dealing with overcrowding at work and lost him The think is most guys are used to being the ones that have to ask the girl out, so they become more interested when a girl breaks the mold and asks them out instead. Don't be afraid to make the first move! My thought is that they become more uninterested, because it will hurt their sweet little egos. That is what I call a dilemma. Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Just now, lux aeterna said: My thought is that they become more uninterested, because it will hurt their sweet little egos. That is what I call a dilemma. Then they're not worthy of your attention if you have to cater to their fragile egos. Link to post Share on other sites
lux aeterna Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 Just now, borkfork said: Then they're not worthy of your attention if you have to cater to their fragile egos. Aaaaaaah, the joys of dating. That is why I have nothing to do with that stuff anymore. But sometimes (even though I'm a grown woman :P) I want some recognition from outside. Not ashamed of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, lux aeterna said: My thought is that they become more uninterested, because it will hurt their sweet little egos. That is what I call a dilemma. I inexplicably always fall for the shy gamer guys, so it helps that you have the confidence to approach them, because they're probably not gonna approach you. Link to post Share on other sites
lux aeterna Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 Just now, Lichley said: I inexplicably always fall for the shy gamer guys, so it helps that you have the confidence to approach them, because they're probably not gonna approach you. Once I talked with him and his co-worker about stuff and I told them about my roomies and what they do and how old we are, so it also could be that he thinks it would be creepy if he asks me out, because I'm 10 years younger (I'm 26). Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I think you should go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
lux aeterna Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 5 minutes ago, m4rble said: I think you should go for it. I love Anna Akana! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Nebulous Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Yes. Men asking women out is a pretty pointless (and often damaging) social expectation. It's like asking a woman to walk on the inside of the curb/sidewalk; it doesn't change anything and it's one more thing to worry about needlessly. Link to post Share on other sites
Diamond Ace of Hearts Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 So... I'm a guy but I'm going to answer anyway. I would far prefer to be asked than do the asking. There's a bunch of reasons for that and admittedly some of them are bad (also, one of the reasons is that I'm asexual and your guy isn't, you think) but I don't think there's any reason not to ask him out if you want to. I think most guys would find it flattering. Link to post Share on other sites
lux aeterna Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Diamond Ace of Hearts said: So... I'm a guy but I'm going to answer anyway. I would far prefer to be asked than do the asking. There's a bunch of reasons for that and admittedly some of them are bad (also, one of the reasons is that I'm asexual and your guy isn't, you think) but I don't think there's any reason not to ask him out if you want to. I think most guys would find it flattering. Alright, thank you very much. Don't know anymore why I wrote "for the girls" in the first place, so your answer is more than welcome. It's weird, for so long I thought "Oh my gawd welcoming my asexuality means being alone foreeeeever. Everything that has to do with dating and stuff is senseless, because in the end everybody just wants to lay on me", but since a few weeks I'm like "Fuck it, I want to meet people again, it is soooo long ago, let's get wasted" - no idea where that comes from Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I feel no romantic attraction to compel me to do this. Although I love me some good dares, so if somebody dared me to ask a guy out I probably would, only to say "haha, joking" in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Ciri said: (I don’t buy into the whole traditional guy must ask girl out thing, it makes girls think they don’t have a choice) Agree on so many levels!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I didn't even consider that it may be uncommon/strange for girls to ask guys! Everyone seems to be on the same page but me, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I've at times found myself being pushed by others to ask a girl just because we shared like 2 sentences worth of talking and somehow this translates to "potential mate" in the eyes of others. Also, there's the expectation that if as a guy, you see a girl playing with her hair, being unusually cheerful around you or generally doing any of the "hints that I hope you pick up on", that, that somehow translates into "You MUST ask her out" So I agree the social expectations are damaging. To me any signs are more of warnings though Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: To me any signs are more of warnings though TRUE I have to straight up avoid eye contact for a week if I'm getting hints that a guy likes me. Usually does the trick. Link to post Share on other sites
banoffeepie Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 From the guys perspective they are not sure how to handle this strange emotion of flattery. In my case I haven't known how to react and just went 'yeah .. OK!' because the flattery felt good enough and then I became really interested in the person I hadn't really noticed before. Another point regarding what people are saying about girls doing the asking ... They may not actually ask ... but they are very good at setting the stage .. You know, comments like; 'So, it looks like we're both at a loose end Saturday evening then.' 'I would sooo love to see that film .. but I don't like going to the cinema alone' So, in a way, most do ask guys out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 12 minutes ago, TopHatCat said: TRUE I have to straight up avoid eye contact for a week if I'm getting hints that a guy likes me. Usually does the trick. I totally get what you mean. Last time a girl showed interest in me, she was very persistent about it; saying things that she was oh so alone in the world and constantly asking if I wanted to hang out to do things (which were complete opposites of me). I always politely declined but she didnt seem to get the message.She kind of was crossing the line into what felt like stalking o_o;; (okay maybe thats a bit harsh but having someone continously following me trigers a sort of "stranger danger" emotion) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 ^ It sounds like she may have turned into one. You dodged a bullet there. Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 No, because my obsessions with people make me so anxious that I'd be too afraid to ask them out. And because I'm not even sure if I'd want a romantic relationship with someone I was obsessed with. Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 In all honesty, I can't ask a woman out nowadays... Too scared of people blowing "fancy a date" way out of proportion... So I don't ask women out... But if a woman asked me out, I'd say yes 98% of the time... Because who am I to say no to them? Sorry, I'm a guy XD Link to post Share on other sites
Pamalla-Shay Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I would ask a guy out... I would prefer if he asked me, but I don't mind being the one to ask him out.... although my anxiety will try to kill me if I do. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I'm a guy. Personally, I am oblivious to hints, even the "obvious" ones. If a woman were interested in me I'd prefer she said so. But I'm not one to talk; I rarely got up the courage to ask people out when I was younger (and since AVEN I haven't really tried). I don't see why it should be on one gender to do the asking. Link to post Share on other sites
WobblyWallaby Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I did once. In high school I asked out my crush. He wasn't mean but he was super nonchalant with his no. Almost like I'd asked him if he knew what time it was. It's been about five years now and we're friends. I'd rather be straight forward with interest than beat around the bush. Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 My high school crush told me to find Jesus. I don't know if he could've predicted that would make me angry enough to never speak to him again. Link to post Share on other sites
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