I'm his squish, and i'm confused

[HopenHappy]

So, introductions first! Hi there, call me Hope o/, I myself am your pretty standard "gay guy", which is to say, i'm not aromantic or asexual (possibly demisexual, but thats a topic for another time!). I am in a relationship with another guy, and we are both happy, he is not my topic. My "problem" that I bring to you amazing people today is one of... a lack of information.

 

So, for the past months, and exclusively online,  I have grown very close to this amazing, kind, funny guy, who we will call D, for the sake of anonymity. D is aro-ace, and that's never been a problem. We have developed a very strong bond of trust and care,  to the point where I would, if not for mitigating circumstances not limited to his identities and my "availability", would very much be attracted to him romantically.

 

A few days ago, D confessed to me that his attachment to me was much greater than he had let on, and proceeded to explain the concept of a squish,  he even told me he had for a moment even questioned whether it was actually romantic, such was the level of connection. 

 

Now, to make it clear, I have no problem with it, if anything I feel the same way about D (if not slightly romantic too), and am so glad he told me. It warms my heart that he trusted me enough to tell me something like this as I know it can be a vulnerable moment.

 

I simply don't know what to do, I am uncertain what my role is,  how to act etc etc. I want to... Express how I feel about him too, but am uncertain how to do it in a way that doesn't make him uncomfortable as my experience is romantic. I do love D, he means the world to me, and not in a(n entirely) romantic sense. I am just not sure how to express it. 

 

Thank you all for your time

Hope

[who knows? not me]

Hi Hope,

 

I'm aro-ace too, and have a squish right now. Mine doesn't know yet, but I've always been the kind of person to address things head on and I don't know everything about your situation, so maybe take my advice with some thought about how you think best. I wouldn't expect a squish to do anything different from what we had previously been doing, but I'm sure they would appreciate it if you simply spent more time with each other (since online, I guess I mean talking more). Having a squish - at least for me - is like really really wanting to hang out with them or wanting to be best friends. If you don't want to tell him that you are (at least slightly) romantically attracted to him, you can always let him know how much he means to you as a friend and as a person. If you wish to tell D that you also feel a little romantic attraction, yes that might scare him or make him a little uncomfortable, but you never really know sometimes. You know D better than I do, but I would definitely make sure that D knows you aren't going to stop being his friend after he told you that you were his squish; Let him know that it warmed your heart that he trusted you like that, and that he means the world to you. That's just my take on it, but I hope that helps!

 

Best of luck,

Jenny