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Am i asexual? If not, then what?


lunam stillare iussi

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lunam stillare iussi

I've been reading a lot about asexuality and other sexualities as well. I'm confused as to where I fit in. 

Im not positive as to what sexual attraction is like. I see people saying that asexual do not experience sexual attraction but since I've never been given an explanation as to what you would feel like when sexually attracted to someone, so I don't exactly know if I am sexually atrractied to someone or just attracted? I make jokes that I would "do them" but never really meant them. I've said that those people are "hot" as well. 

I know I don't want sex though. That's a definite. I'm not great at describing this so I'm really sorry! 

After saying all this I feel as though I'm probably not asexual but is there any idea what sexuality I am? 

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The definition of sexual attraction is much debated even in our community, but many define it as the lack of desire for partnered sex. Under that definition, yes, you could consider yourself asexual. And thinking that someone is "hot" doesn't mean you experience sexual attraction to them. That would be considered aesthetic attraction.

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I also define assexualism as "lack of will of having sex". With this definition I'm an assexualist, although I find many girls "hot" or "cute". I also joke about sex very often (much too often to be honest ;) )

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9 hours ago, lunam stillare iussi said:

I make jokes that I would "do them" but never really meant them. I've said that those people are "hot" as well. 

I do this a lot as well. :lol: I said it before I came to realize I'm asexual, but I'd still say it now because I find it to be an amusing figure of speech. But really, if someone I found "hot" was lying on my bed ready for me, I would simply not actually want to have sex with them. That's where the differences between me and my sexual friends comes in - we may all say the same person is "hot" but they would be inclined to do something about it if they had the chance, while I would not.

 

 

9 hours ago, lunam stillare iussi said:

I know I don't want sex though. That's a definite. I'm not great at describing this so I'm really sorry! 

That's a pretty thorough description, I'd say, and those of us on AVEN are far more likely to understand it than sexual people you may have talked to about this elsewhere. :) If you simply feel no inclination to pursue sex, and that's just a part of who you are instead of a choice, then that is very much in line with asexuality as a concept, and the experiences of many people who identify as asexual. :cake:

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