Lily_TheHobbit Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Hello everyone. I'm really sorry if this topic already exist but that really bother me... Ever since I started having breasts, I felt really uncomfortable with it and that became an obsession. It's not that I want to be a boy but I wish I was more...androgynous? I feel like those two 'bumps' shouldn't be there and I've always wished I could get a flat chest. It became so annoying that I even tried to lose a lot of weight just to have a little to no boobs anymore. I feel really stupid writing that down because I've never talked about it to anyone. Does that 'obsession' with my breasts means something? I really don't know what to do to feel good about my body. Have a nice day! Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Hello! There are a few ways to go about this: I like the idea of dressing more androgynous, but my (female) body is such that it would never look good on me. I treat it the same way I do my natural skin/eye color etc, meaning "this is what I've got from the gene lottery, how can I work with what I have to look dapper in a slightly androgynous way?" What I do is find clothes that are designed to fit a female shape (so they'll actually fit) but that minimize the appearance of my chest and hips. My shirts aren't huge and baggy because I want a bit more of a lanky/skinny silhouette. Some of them are "babydolls" so they'll have room for my breasts, but some are unisex and they're all just large enough that the whole shape of my breasts won't come through. They're there, so (for me) there's no use trying to hide them, I use a shirt just loose enough that it curves over the top of the breasts and then falls underneath them, only going in towards the waist so it portrays my physique. By minimizing emphasis on my chest, it makes it feel less like a trivial factor keeping me from effectively communicating with all the guys in my classes. My pants aren't super form-fitting so people don't see every detail of my legs and butt, they give me a straighter silhouette but have just enough stretch to them that they hold onto my waist/hips without a belt (they're kind of a soft black cotton). After having breasts for about 10 years, I just think of them comically. They're kind of hilarious, these fat sacks stuck to my chest. And you would be surprised (if you haven't been already) how much a properly fitting bra can do for you. Since getting properly measured more recently, I don't focus on my chest as much because the bras aren't uncomfortable, and I even feel smaller there since it all fits efficiently (no awkward areas poking out, not as much movement). HOWEVER: Of course, if they cause more problems for you than this, some people find binders to reel their breasts in. You should look through the forums for someone who's got all of that down to a science. My understanding is if you don't go about fitting/wearing them properly, they can adversely affect you. Hope this helps, and welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Sometimes discomfort/dysphoria over having breasts is just that: dysphoria/discomfort over having breasts. I've heard of cis-women getting top surgery because they weren't comfortable with their chests. That said, for many people, that discomfort coincides with other discomforts that start highlighting a pattern. I realized I needed top surgery several years before I came out to myself as transgender, as chest dysphoria alone didn't feel like enough for me to declare myself trans. What kind of tipped the scales for me was realizing that top surgery alone wouldn't be enough to make me comfortable with my body. Once HRT and social/legal transition became more clearly necessary, I realized that the chest dysphoria was part of a larger picture pointing to me being a man. Everyone's experiences/relationships with their bodies differ though, so the only way to truly know what you're looking for is to look inward. Link to post Share on other sites
Lily_TheHobbit Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 22 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said: Sometimes discomfort/dysphoria over having breasts is just that: dysphoria/discomfort over having breasts. I've heard of cis-women getting top surgery because they weren't comfortable with their chests. That said, for many people, that discomfort coincides with other discomforts that start highlighting a pattern. I realized I needed top surgery several years before I came out to myself as transgender, as chest dysphoria alone didn't feel like enough for me to declare myself trans. What kind of tipped the scales for me was realizing that top surgery alone wouldn't be enough to make me comfortable with my body. Once HRT and social/legal transition became more clearly necessary, I realized that the chest dysphoria was part of a larger picture pointing to me being a man. Everyone's experiences/relationships with their bodies differ though, so the only way to truly know what you're looking for is to look inward. Thank you so much. At first, I thought it was maybe because of body dysmorphobia but I feel uncomfortable about my breasts since I'm... 10? I only had huge problems with my body image when I was 17. I have to admit that I've already wondered if, deep inside of me, I wanted to be a man. But I like being a girl, it's just my breasts which is a big problem for me. I can handle it for now but I'm starting to look for solutions, I can't live unhappy forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Lily_TheHobbit Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 23 hours ago, TopHatCat said: Hello! There are a few ways to go about this: I like the idea of dressing more androgynous, but my (female) body is such that it would never look good on me. I treat it the same way I do my natural skin/eye color etc, meaning "this is what I've got from the gene lottery, how can I work with what I have to look dapper in a slightly androgynous way?" What I do is find clothes that are designed to fit a female shape (so they'll actually fit) but that minimize the appearance of my chest and hips. My shirts aren't huge and baggy because I want a bit more of a lanky/skinny silhouette. Some of them are "babydolls" so they'll have room for my breasts, but some are unisex and they're all just large enough that the whole shape of my breasts won't come through. They're there, so (for me) there's no use trying to hide them, I use a shirt just loose enough that it curves over the top of the breasts and then falls underneath them, only going in towards the waist so it portrays my physique. By minimizing emphasis on my chest, it makes it feel less like a trivial factor keeping me from effectively communicating with all the guys in my classes. My pants aren't super form-fitting so people don't see every detail of my legs and butt, they give me a straighter silhouette but have just enough stretch to them that they hold onto my waist/hips without a belt (they're kind of a soft black cotton). After having breasts for about 10 years, I just think of them comically. They're kind of hilarious, these fat sacks stuck to my chest. And you would be surprised (if you haven't been already) how much a properly fitting bra can do for you. Since getting properly measured more recently, I don't focus on my chest as much because the bras aren't uncomfortable, and I even feel smaller there since it all fits efficiently (no awkward areas poking out, not as much movement). HOWEVER: Of course, if they cause more problems for you than this, some people find binders to reel their breasts in. You should look through the forums for someone who's got all of that down to a science. My understanding is if you don't go about fitting/wearing them properly, they can adversely affect you. Hope this helps, and welcome to AVEN! Thank you for your advice. Actually, I've been doing the same for years but...i don't know. I still can feel/see that my breasts is here and not flat (As I want it to be). But I have to say that your technique helped me a lot for years. Oh and thank you for the welcoming! It's good to join a forum with people that can understand you Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Lily_TheHobbit said: Thank you so much. At first, I thought it was maybe because of body dysmorphobia but I feel uncomfortable about my breasts since I'm... 10? I only had huge problems with my body image when I was 17. I have to admit that I've already wondered if, deep inside of me, I wanted to be a man. But I like being a girl, it's just my breasts which is a big problem for me. I can handle it for now but I'm starting to look for solutions, I can't live unhappy forever. It's good to recognize when a relationship with part of your body is unsustainable. My chest dysphoria didn't start really getting out of control until college, but it was when I started massively dropping weight (I went from 140lbs to 100lbs in 2 years) during my first master's program that I learned that no amount of weight loss would make me comfortable with my chest. That was the point when top surgery went from a fantasy to an absolute surgical necessity to save my mental health. There's no reason to be unhappy forever, especially when potential solutions exist. I hope you find the solutions that work best for you Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I totally recognise the breasts issue..it kinda dissapeared after i had surgery (not top but breast reduction) and i feel it took away alot of the fears i had on my chest especially with working in a 90% male enviroment. I usually wear sports bra’s or tops when i have to workout or on a day i want to hide them because you can’t wear a binder for too long.Baggy sweaters help alot too. Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Just curious how small did you go? I had male breast augmentation beginning of the year, I was so looking forward to this for a log time . My surgeon however "talked" me into going larger than I originally wanted. I was wearing small B forms which I was totally comfortable with, ended up a Large C. While I am pleased with the results overall, there are times when I do not feel comfortable with them due to them being too noticeable or get in the way of some activities where my small Bs we're never a problem Link to post Share on other sites
Lily_TheHobbit Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 On 8/11/2017 at 6:23 PM, Mezzo Forte said: It's good to recognize when a relationship with part of your body is unsustainable. My chest dysphoria didn't start really getting out of control until college, but it was when I started massively dropping weight (I went from 140lbs to 100lbs in 2 years) during my first master's program that I learned that no amount of weight loss would make me comfortable with my chest. That was the point when top surgery went from a fantasy to an absolute surgical necessity to save my mental health. There's no reason to be unhappy forever, especially when potential solutions exist. I hope you find the solutions that work best for you That's sweet, thank you! It's nice talking with people that understand it ! ^.^ Link to post Share on other sites
Lily_TheHobbit Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 On 8/11/2017 at 6:56 PM, Jayce said: I totally recognise the breasts issue..it kinda dissapeared after i had surgery (not top but breast reduction) and i feel it took away alot of the fears i had on my chest especially with working in a 90% male enviroment. I usually wear sports bra’s or tops when i have to workout or on a day i want to hide them because you can’t wear a binder for too long.Baggy sweaters help alot too. Thank you for the advice! I'm really thinking about getting breast surgery later. I would love to wear sports bras instead of bras! I totally understand what you feel Link to post Share on other sites
Lily_TheHobbit Posted November 13, 2017 Author Share Posted November 13, 2017 20 hours ago, Albine said: Just curious how small did you go? I had male breast augmentation beginning of the year, I was so looking forward to this for a log time . My surgeon however "talked" me into going larger than I originally wanted. I was wearing small B forms which I was totally comfortable with, ended up a Large C. While I am pleased with the results overall, there are times when I do not feel comfortable with them due to them being too noticeable or get in the way of some activities where my small Bs we're never a problem I think the smallest was A. I felt way better with that but it was still not enough. Do you feel like having a breast reduction? Or you're going to stay like that ? Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 hi Lily On 11/13/2017 at 1:42 PM, Lily_TheHobbit said: I think the smallest was A. I felt way better with that but it was still not enough. Do you feel like having a breast reduction? Or you're going to stay like that ? Hi Lily, Well I don't know I was so looking forward to having boobs, while I don't mind having them I feel they are bigger than I image I am just torn right now I times i wish they were smaller Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 On 11/13/2017 at 1:42 PM, Lily_TheHobbit said: I think the smallest was A. I felt way better with that but it was still not enough. Do you feel like having a breast reduction? Or you're going to stay like that ? have you had a consultation or considering having one for a reduction? Link to post Share on other sites
helana12_03 Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 I never liked my breasts either but I don't want to be a dude and I identify as female. For me it's more about wanting to have a child's body. I simply like it better. Link to post Share on other sites
ChimeraEyes1999 Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 I agree with this. I am a girl, but most of the chest is made up of an unnecessary amount of fat that just makes me quite uncomfortable, even if I'm just a c cup. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I feel like that too and I've started noticing a pattern: breast dysphoria seems quite common among AFAB aces, even those who don't identify as trans. Probably because boobs are heavily sexualized and an ace woman can feel a totally legitimate desire to look good without being sexually attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 On 12/1/2017 at 12:11 PM, Nowhere Girl said: AFAB Define plz I’m new ish! Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 On 11/7/2017 at 9:00 AM, Lily_TheHobbit said: Hello everyone. I'm really sorry if this topic already exist but that really bother me... Ever since I started having breasts, I felt really uncomfortable with it and that became an obsession. It's not that I want to be a boy but I wish I was more...androgynous? I feel like those two 'bumps' shouldn't be there and I've always wished I could get a flat chest. It became so annoying that I even tried to lose a lot of weight just to have a little to no boobs anymore. I feel really stupid writing that down because I've never talked about it to anyone. Does that 'obsession' with my breasts means something? I really don't know what to do to feel good about my body. Have a nice day! When you join AVEN and you find stories that are identical to yours. Same I hate my chest. I kinda wish I couldfine a person who wants them and switch. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 4 hours ago, :)(: said: Define plz I’m new ish! AFAB = Assigned Female At Birth. Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 Oooooh thanks😮 Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 On 11/13/2017 at 1:42 PM, Lily_TheHobbit said: I think the smallest was A. I felt way better with that but it was still not enough. Do you feel like having a breast reduction? Or you're going to stay like that ? have you had a consultation or considering having one for a reduction? Link to post Share on other sites
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