'k mind, i thought we were done with this...' Orientation Questioning... again

[Kururin]

 Lengthy read. Just saying 

 

Nemu here thought she was all good with the orientation department. She was sure about her bioromantic tendencies and thought 'alrighty, that's me. i'm good. it;s good' She was sure that she would be able to stay with one neat label for a while. And she knew that sexuality was fluid, so it could change. Nemu was quite happy

 

And then night falls and she start's thinking 'okay, you know how your ace and biromantic and stuff? yeah, let's talk about that, eh?'

Then.... well, I sorta.. .kinda started questioning again In which I replied 

'hey mind, i thought we went over this.'

Mind says 'lol no'

*internal groan* 

 

Now I'm starting to think I'm demiromantic.. maybe I HAVE NO IDEA NOW

 

Now, don't get me wrong. I like people very much. However, I don't like them romantically right away. Heck, I feel nothing romantically for a person until we go through the friendship stage, and even for me, that's a pretty big hill to climb. I like to bond emotionally with people and form really close connections. Basically, know who they are as a person. Then maybe, maybe I'll feel something romantically for you (unless you're aro. let's be platonic friends and eat sweets!). And when that happens, and that person has reached the top of that mountain, I basically become the single most love squeeing mess on the planet. I am a human with love, we just gotta get to really know each other so that I can see what you're interested in, and you can see what I'm interested in, opinions, dreams, everything! 

 

The only problem that I have is that I honestly can't recognize the difference between 'alrightly i like you as a friend' and 'alrighty, I basically love you' (or romantic attraction and platonic attraction) It could be my anxiety playing up again or selective obliviousness. Heck, if someone says something that has the biggest, all in my face hint that they like me romantically, It will just fly over my head until someone tells me later and I'm like 'o shit did I just unintentionally friendzone them?!?' How can I be demiromantic if I can't exactly tell the difference between the two attractions? What does romance feel like to you guys? (and for the aromantics, what does platonic attraction feel like?' *eats sweets quickly* I'm stuck again! And I thought I sorted out the gynephillic side of my bioromantic-ness. Now its like 'alrighty Nemu, here's a huge load of demi and more confusing.' So, I basically need orientation advice 

 

 

What is the difference?

Could I still be demiromantic and something else as well as biromantic?

Why is that cat staring at me?

*falls down*

 

Send help

 

 

[kaysir]

35 minutes ago, nemu_X said:

Could I still be demiromantic and something else as well as biromantic?

Yes, you could. They don't cancel each other out. I have friends who are bi and lesbian and also demi. I have a friend who used to go by demi but went back to iding as a normal romantic who just liked to get to know people first. You can be more than one type of romantic, ie like different genders, prefer certain genders, and only like people in certain situations...

 

It's up to you what names you call your feelings. If you think your romantic attraction is rarer than not or takes a lot of work, adding demi to your identifiers makes sense from how I see it. You might not be able to recognize romantic advances, but I don't think that's really important in figuring out what you are.

 

Just keep thinking on whether you want to be friends with a number people or more than friends, and figure out what "more than friends" means to you. What do you think of when you picture a romantic relationship? How does it differ from how you behave with your closest friends? Your idea of romance might not be the same as the people who will come to post.

[Snao Cone]

Demi isn't an orientation, in the sense that it doesn't orient you towards a gender of partner. Bi is an orientation. The two don't cancel each other out, so you can certainly be both.

 

(I know I'm going to get yelled at for saying demi isn't an orientation, but really it's just a way of identifying the process through which one gets to desire specific relationships. It's not on the same basic level as what society generally understands as orientations.)

[Kururin]

11 hours ago, Snao Cone said:

Demi isn't an orientation, in the sense that it doesn't orient you towards a gender of partner. Bi is an orientation. The two don't cancel each other out, so you can certainly be both.

 

(I know I'm going to get yelled at for saying demi isn't an orientation, but really it's just a way of identifying the process through which one gets to desire specific relationships. It's not on the same basic level as what society generally understands as orientations.)

Oh! I didn't know that! Thank you for telling me