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What made you come out Ace?


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What was it that prompted you to tell people that you are asexual?

 

For me it was when my BF and now husband said about having kids. I told him, and said I’ll make love, enough to have children. 

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People asking questions or wanting to share experiences. I never "had to" come out because I've never been "in" in the first place. It's not an important enough issue for me to keep it a secret.

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My dad wanting me to give birth and have children once I become an adult. I straight in the face told him that I will never marry someone or have kids, but he seems to not get it.

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Semiterrestrial Scientist

My sister made a joke and I didn’t reply fast enough so I had to tell her I was ace.

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I suppose it was in freshmen or sophomore year when I told my friends about my asexuality. I wanted them to know that I felt this way so I could tell whether they'd accept me or not.

 

i believe only one 'friend' (ex best friend turned acquaintance) in that group respects me being this way. The others tend to tease me that I'll have sex one day or have kids some day. I've brushed those comments aside and just go about life not caring what they think in that department unless it's respecting my wishes to stay single forever.

 

friends can be odd sometimes. 

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1 hour ago, Cup-of-cake said:

I suppose it was in freshmen or sophomore year when I told my friends about my asexuality. I wanted them to know that I felt this way so I could tell whether they'd accept me or not.

 

i believe only one 'friend' (ex best friend turned acquaintance) in that group respects me being this way. The others tend to tease me that I'll have sex one day or have kids some day. I've brushed those comments aside and just go about life not caring what they think in that department unless it's respecting my wishes to stay single forever.

 

friends can be odd sometimes. 

That’s interesting. I didn’t have sex until I was 23 and I thought it was horrible. As horrid as I’d expected. I only tried because of being teased!

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13 minutes ago, AdsilaMika said:

That’s interesting. I didn’t have sex until I was 23 and I thought it was horrible. As horrid as I’d expected. I only tried because of being teased!

Oh my, that doesn't seem good at all. Being teased pressured you into doing something isn't a healthy thing! I hope that kind of thing never happens again unless you feel comfortable doing so. *pats head even though I'm probably too short to reach your fluffy hair*

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Ain’t happening again. No way! Thanks for the pat. Just what I needed :)

 

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You're welcome! I'm glad something like that won't occur ever again. Being pressured into having sex is repulsive! Why would someone tease someone so much that they'd do something that disgusted them?!

 

thats plain rude and very very poor manners. You're welcome for the pat, I'm a short lad. 

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I wanted my roommate/closest friend's opinion on something but I had to come out to her in order to get her opinion. The context of the situation required that she would have to know I'm ace for her to give me an accurate opinion. I was planning on coming out to her soon anyways and I wasn't avoiding it or anything. So it kind of came about organically.

 

The only other person I've come out to (so far) is a friend from back home. They are non binary, pan, and poly so they are very much in the queer sphere and I knew they would be the safest person to come out to. Since the day I found my ace-ness I couldn't wait to talk to them about it. When I came out they also came out to me as ace! One of the things I've been thinking about was how I didn't currently know anybody that was ace and now here's someone I've known for about 6 years also coming out to me as ace! I was pretty excited. 

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I am generally pretty open about my asexuality to friends. If any of them had reacted poorly I would have just stopped being friends with them since I don't want to be friends with the kind of person that would judge someone for their sexuality. I only recently told my family about my asexuality since I was afraid they would reject me (and I can't exactly stop being their family like I can stop being friends with someone). I did it because I didn't want to feel like I was hiding anything anymore.

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These are very interesting answers. Thank you. The more I read and learn, the less unusual I feel, and the more I realise that we, whoever we are, belong here in this world of diversity. 

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The few times I came out to my friends was when the converstation started being awkward (for me) - talking about sex, and me not being able to pretend being sexual any longer.

Thankfully I won't pretend anymore, now that I've accepted being asexual!

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On 04/11/2017 at 3:33 PM, Cup-of-cake said:

Oh my, that doesn't seem good at all. Being teased pressured you into doing something isn't a healthy thing! I hope that kind of thing never happens again unless you feel comfortable doing so. *pats head even though I'm probably too short to reach your fluffy hair*

FLUFFY!!!!

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I’m not out super publicly but I’m out on my Facebook profile (which goes pretty much unused so it’s not compromising me all that much). IDK, I’m just tired of lying and pretending to be someone I’m not. I wish I could just tell everyone I know but people just write it off as another part of my cynical attitude. Having to fake who you really are is just frustrating.

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Fighting_For_Us

I'm not out openly, and certainly not to any family members, but I am out to a couple close friends and Church leaders that I trust.

I mainly wanted to come out just so I wouldn't have to hide myself from them. I wanted to be able to express myself honestly, especially around my friends since whenever we're in a group the subject of dating always comes up somehow or another.

It's nice to be able to talk to some people about being ace.

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I'm still not 100% sure I'm asexual, even though I have a lot of the traits. I need a little more experimentation to be sure.

 

I don't think I'd really come "out" so to speak. My friends and family don't care that much about my dating life, so there's not much pressure. I'd let my partner know, but even then I might frame it as simply preferring making out or cuddling to sexual acts. I'd fall into the gray category, so if she wants sex, I'm happy to provide. It'd only be a problem if she wants it really often.

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My friend suggested the idea when he found out I was 20; had never had a girlfriend, never had sex, and only once experimented with masturbation. Since then I've started iding as aro ace. It was funny because that same friend was the one who always took me for a sweetheart that would go win all the girls with charm and good looks and I held a very strong disdain to the idea.

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Never came out, don't plan to unless for political or visibility reasons, or if a person starts disparaging Asexuals in conversation (never encountered this.)

 

Outwardly I present as a heterosexual male who is single and not looking.  Nobody questions me about it.

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I'm not out. I was previously very open about my thoughts and it didn't go well for me. That said, I am very open about not wanting to have kids or be pregnant. I'm married, so me and my husband blend in even though we are both lgtbqia. Where we live, blending in is a huge blessing.

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I've told my parents and a close online friend.  The friend identified as ace at the time, so it was a chance to connect with someone else who understood.  With my parents, I just wanted them to know I was serious about not seeking a traditional "get married, have kids" lifestyle, which, as much as I admire it, is not for me.

 

I haven't found it necessary to tell my coworkers, though if it came down to it, I wouldn't hide it.  They probably think I'm aro.

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