Non-binary dysphoria

[howtobegeek]

Hi everyone,

So atm I'm questioning my gender and considering whether I might be non-binary. 

I'm afab and some days I feel relatively fine with my body as long as I can dress more androgynous (skinny jeans and shirts from the men's section) but other days I don't feel comfortable with my chest and I just really hate being on my period (but who doesn't?!). 

I wanted to ask if non-binary people feel dysphoria and if so how it feels.

Thanks in advance,

😘🍰

[Lichley]

http://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/75333093314/the-more-subtle-kind-of-gender-dysphoria

^^^

[-Lex-]

I’m afab agender and I have dysphoria with my chest and hips.  I wear a binder every day and I hope to get top surgery eventually.  I hate my figure.  I’m finally going to start working out to look more muscular and masculine, and hopefully reduce dysphoria.  I also wear both men’s and women’s clothes that are more androgynous, and that helps dysphoria too.

[arden_jay]

I have bouts of dysphoria surrounding my more feminine features, particularly my chest and hips/thighs. It also may be compounded a little by dysmorphia as I'm a bit overweight and transitioning to a neutral body type is going to be difficult for me. I would really like to reach the stage when I present as androgynous, but I know some nb individuals don't feel the need to present that way.

[Acing It]

When I'm not at work I tend to dress more gender neutral, but I can't at work. I still manage to keep the more ultra gendered clothes out of my wardrobe and my job, though, using any excuse I can. When I can't I don't feel comfortable and they come off the second I come home! At times it worse and at times it's not as much a problem. I wish I could present more androgeneously throughout mind. I would't mind getting rid of my bits if that could happen by magic and without social backlash.

[Angelnoir]

On 4.11.2017 at 12:15 AM, howtobegeek said:

So atm I'm questioning my gender and considering whether I might be non-binary. 

I'm afab and some days I feel relatively fine with my body as long as I can dress more androgynous (skinny jeans and shirts from the men's section) but other days I don't feel comfortable with my chest and I just really hate being on my period (but who doesn't?!). 

I wanted to ask if non-binary people feel dysphoria and if so how it feels.

 

In cases like that I always would ask myself several questions, e.g.: Does dressing androgynously, in a feminine or masculine way imply anything about gender? Or can you dress however you like and be whatever? Why do you hate your chest? Is it the feel, is it what it means to others, to society? What exactly is it?

So just ask yourself these types of questions. I.e. don't assume, I feel bad/good about X. And that means Y. Better: Ask yourself why do I feel bad/good about X? Is it because of something practical, something societal, something about your peers, family,...something about fashion...etc.etc.

Most hate their period.

Maybe this helps.

[howtobegeek]

4 hours ago, Angelnoir said:

In cases like that I always would ask myself several questions, e.g.: Does dressing androgynously, in a feminine or masculine way imply anything about gender? Or can you dress however you like and be whatever? Why do you hate your chest? Is it the feel, is it what it means to others, to society? What exactly is it?

So just ask yourself these types of questions. I.e. don't assume, I feel bad/good about X. And that means Y. Better: Ask yourself why do I feel bad/good about X? Is it because of something practical, something societal, something about your peers, family,...something about fashion...etc.etc.

Omg this helped so much. I just realised that I mostly don't like my chest because it makes society see me as a female and assume things, while I myself just feel like my booby are a non-gendered thing and don't tell anything about me as a person, because I could just as well have a flat chest and be amab ando still be the same person. 

I would just feel so much better if society just forgot about all the gender stuff and live their life without those unnecessary assumptions. 

Thanks a lot,

😘🍰

[Haydn]

7 hours ago, Angelnoir said:

So just ask yourself these types of questions. I.e. don't assume, I feel bad/good about X. And that means Y. Better: Ask yourself why do I feel bad/good about X? Is it because of something practical, something societal, something about your peers, family,...something about fashion...etc.etc.

Yeaah this is how I feel. I'm not bothered by my chest in itself because it's just there and it's... there. :shrug: I just hate it whenever I have to go out because it makes people assume things. I would also feel better if society did not gender things seriously. The worst thing is that in French, adjectives are gendered and you have to choose between the TWO...

[Angelnoir]

20 hours ago, howtobegeek said:

Omg this helped so much. I just realised that I mostly don't like my chest because it makes society see me as a female and assume things, while I myself just feel like my booby are a non-gendered thing and don't tell anything about me as a person, because I could just as well have a flat chest and be amab ando still be the same person. 

I would just feel so much better if society just forgot about all the gender stuff and live their life without those unnecessary assumptions. 

Thanks a lot,

😘🍰

What do others (or society) assume because they see you as female, i.e. what do they assume of females generally?

I think you are totally right, your anatomy could be whichever and it doesn't determine anything about your likes and dislikes. Just as the other way round, your likes and dislikes shouldn't tell us anything about your anatomy. That's how it should be but that's how it isn't currently, at the moment. Doesn't mean you can do and like whatever you want with whichever anatomy despite people assuming things. E.g. I would rather change others perception about females or persons with female anatomy, than change myself so that those assumptions stop and society forgets about gender stuff (as you say).

But that's just my opinion.

 

I'm glad I could help you. Reflection is always good.

[howtobegeek]

4 hours ago, Angelnoir said:

E.g. I would rather change others perception about females or persons with female anatomy, than change myself so that those assumptions stop and society forgets about gender stuff (as you say).

Yeah that's exactly what I'd like to do, but unfortunately you can't change all of society in a moment. Plus, I feel comfortable presenting more androgynously, I don't just do it for society to see me as a female.

So at the moment I'm relatively fine with just presenting in an androgynous way and trying to not care about society and their opinion of me. 

😘🍰