kittyblomu Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 I think I like this guy. At least, I'm pretty sure I like him. But me liking him contradicts my demiromantic orientation because I don't know him very well and he doesn't know me very well.. does that matter? Does anything change? Should anything change? Because I'm so new to the idea of not being straight anymore, I am afraid that any and all situations might change or somehow affect my orientations, whether it be me being aesthetically or emotionally attracted to somebody or me actually liking the person. I'm not even sure if I like him or if I'm just curious about him/emotionally attracted to him. I do really want to get to know him better and the maybe-lith part of me is not really active because I want him to like me back? If I even do like him? I dunno. I'd really appreciate if someone were to give me a little bit of insight on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 Sometimes things change as we grow older, have more experiences, and learn more about ourselves! I didn't realise I wasn't asexual until I was 28 when new experiences showed me that I could actively desire and enjoy certain types of sexual intimacy under certain circumstances.. but that's not scary or freaky or anything, it's just you learning more about yourself! Also, you don't have to necessarily be 'straight' just because you crush on someone without knowing them that well.. maybe just not as demi as you thought? I still don't ID as 'straight' even though I now know I'm not asexual, straight just doesn't fit me well at all. Maybe you're more 'slightly regular' romantic than you thought, but only time will tell!! There is nothing wrong with not being demiromantic though, you're still cool however you are Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 You might be grayromantic Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 I'm demiromantic and I get crushes on ppl I don't know as well but the difference for me is that I categorize them into "amusement crushes" which I know won't amount to anything plus I forget about them after a short time and "actual crushes" where I'll be more deeply involved. So I guess it depends on what and how you feel for the guy. These things change a lot sometimes so don't worry too much about it if you don't feel demi. Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. TheAP Questions about Asexuality co-mod Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 On 3.11.2017 at 8:47 AM, FictoVore. said: Sometimes things change as we grow older, have more experiences, and learn more about ourselves! I didn't realise I wasn't asexual until I was 28 when new experiences showed me that I could actively desire and enjoy certain types of sexual intimacy under certain circumstances.. but that's not scary or freaky or anything, it's just you learning more about yourself! Also, you don't have to necessarily be 'straight' just because you crush on someone without knowing them that well.. maybe just not as demi as you thought? I still don't ID as 'straight' even though I now know I'm not asexual, straight just doesn't fit me well at all. Maybe you're more 'slightly regular' romantic than you thought, but only time will tell!! There is nothing wrong with not being demiromantic though, you're still cool however you are Perfectly phrased I wouldn't worry too much about lables anyway. Your happiness and balance is all that really matters. Just go or do what ever makes you feel right. There's nothing to loose but making a new experience along the way. No matter how things will turn out in the very end. Just go and give it a try Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted November 6, 2017 Author Share Posted November 6, 2017 On 2.11.2017 at 9:47 PM, FictoVore. said: Sometimes things change as we grow older, have more experiences, and learn more about ourselves! I didn't realise I wasn't asexual until I was 28 when new experiences showed me that I could actively desire and enjoy certain types of sexual intimacy under certain circumstances.. but that's not scary or freaky or anything, it's just you learning more about yourself! Also, you don't have to necessarily be 'straight' just because you crush on someone without knowing them that well.. maybe just not as demi as you thought? I still don't ID as 'straight' even though I now know I'm not asexual, straight just doesn't fit me well at all. Maybe you're more 'slightly regular' romantic than you thought, but only time will tell!! There is nothing wrong with not being demiromantic though, you're still cool however you are Thank you so much! I'll definitely think about this! Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted November 6, 2017 Author Share Posted November 6, 2017 On 3.11.2017 at 1:22 AM, Syrthia said: You might be grayromantic I just did some research on this and it fits me really well, actually. I connect with all three bullet points AVENwiki lists. I'm not sure, but I'm really liking it. Thank you for your comment! Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted November 6, 2017 Author Share Posted November 6, 2017 On 3.11.2017 at 3:55 AM, Rhaenys said: I'm demiromantic and I get crushes on ppl I don't know as well but the difference for me is that I categorize them into "amusement crushes" which I know won't amount to anything plus I forget about them after a short time and "actual crushes" where I'll be more deeply involved. So I guess it depends on what and how you feel for the guy. These things change a lot sometimes so don't worry too much about it if you don't feel demi. Thank you so much! This was very reassuring to read haha. Yeah, there will be times where I think someone is good looking and will be interested in them, but those attractions fade after a while. ("A while" meaning a week or two). And other times where I'll be, like you said, more deeply involved, for lack of another way to put it. But in no cases will I desire a romantic relationship with them. I mean, I've thought about it, but it doesn't really interest me. However, if the guy I liked (if you were to use the "more deeply involved" scenario) actually asked me out, that might change. I'm not sure yet. Link to post Share on other sites
kittyblomu Posted November 6, 2017 Author Share Posted November 6, 2017 On 4.11.2017 at 5:03 AM, Deus Ex Infinity said: Perfectly phrased I wouldn't worry too much about lables anyway. Your happiness and balance is all that really matters. Just go or do what ever makes you feel right. There's nothing to loose but making a new experience along the way. No matter how things will turn out in the very end. Just go and give it a try Thank you so much aaa!! This really helped! Link to post Share on other sites
The Gnat (Natalie) Posted November 6, 2017 Share Posted November 6, 2017 On 11/3/2017 at 8:55 AM, Rhaenys said: I'm demiromantic and I get crushes on ppl I don't know as well but the difference for me is that I categorize them into "amusement crushes" which I know won't amount to anything plus I forget about them after a short time and "actual crushes" where I'll be more deeply involved. So I guess it depends on what and how you feel for the guy. These things change a lot sometimes so don't worry too much about it if you don't feel demi. I have the same thing, and I've heard them called 'infatuations' whereas crushes are only the longer-lasting "real" crushes. I feel like that's been a helpful mental distinction for me, but I still just refer to all of them as crushes. Best example is celebrity whatever-you-want-to-call-thems. They're really probably best categorized as infatuations or maybe squishes, but I still call them crushes 😜 Link to post Share on other sites
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