Asexuality and its Effect on Gender Identity

[Victor J]

Hello, 

 

I am a college senior and am looking to start an anthropological research study, but I wanted to see if there was any viability/interest in such a study. I am interested in looking at the effect of asexuality/aromanticism on gender identity or vice versa. The basis of this project is my own observations on campus and in the asexuality club that there seems to be a disproportionate quantity of non-cis aces (including myself). What I want to know is, does anyone here think this is a reasonable/interesting study? Does anyone feel that their asexuality effects their gender, or that their gender plays into their asexuality?

 

I would appreciate any thoughts anyone has here. Thanks!

[TheAP]

Moved from Intersectionality to Gender Discussion.

 

TheAP

Intersectionality Moderator

[Yep, me]

It may actually be because of the fact that asexuals are generally also going to be more aware of non cisgender identities.

[The Gnat (Natalie)]

Hey there. I think there's definitely validity in that topic, and it's something I'd personally be very interested in hearing the results of. While I am cisgender, the reason I wanted to comment is that in middle/early high school, before I knew the word 'asexual' and only knew that I felt different than all the other girls, my response was to question my gender rather than my sexuality. I grew up in a pretty conservative environment where gender roles were, shall we say, intense. I dealt with a lot of feelings of not "counting" as a girl because, among other things, I couldn't make myself feel the same interest in boys that all the other girls felt.

 

Because I am cisgender, I don't think my asexuality affects my gender, but it definitely affects my gender presentation. My knee-jerk reaction to things that are supposed to make women more attractive, desirable, etc. has always been to do the opposite, and I definitely don't feel a need to perform femininity in the way that many other women seem to. I simply don't have a drive to do any of the things that women might typically do for the purpose of appearing attractive to men. (As an example, one day I was going to go meet my best friend/crush for coffee, and my mom said that if I ever wanted him to view me as a potential girlfriend I should wear something nicer/hotter than my oversized sweater. I was baffled. A relationship between dressing cute/hot and being seen as romantically compatible never even entered my mind.)

 

As to your last question, I also don't feel that my gender affects my sexuality because most cis women aren't aces.

 

I know I'm not in your target demographic, but I wanted to give my two cents to say that I think this would be a great study topic!

[BionicPi]

I think realising my asexuality influenced my identifying as agender. I think having an identity that involves not feeling something makes it easier to notice and identify with other such identities.

[Victor J]

@Zenzencat104 you have a point, but there are many people who are aware of the vast gender spectrum that still identify as cis. I think that knowledge of diversity does not in itself affect identity, but perhaps what someone identifies as. 

 

@The Gnat (Natalie) that definitely makes a lot of sense and would in itself make an interesting study. I am curious if you also seem to spend less time/energy on appearances. I  know a lot of people put a lot of effort into how they perform their gendered presentation, and part of it I am sure has to do with wanting to appear attractive/desirable according to gender norms. 

 

@BionicPi thanks for your response! Do you think you would have ever realized your gender without discovering your asexuality first? Do you think that lack of attraction to any gender affects your identity? Without the some of the performative part that @The Gnat (Natalie) mentioned, it seems like gender is a less significant part of life then it is for many people (but that might just be me). 

[BionicPi]

1 minute ago, Victor J said:

@BionicPi thanks for your response! Do you think you would have ever realized your gender without discovering your asexuality first?

I'm not sure. I maybe? I'm not sure I would have paid attention to anything without being introduced to one of the a-spec communities.

 

1 minute ago, Victor J said:

Do you think that lack of attraction to any gender affects your identity? Without the some of the performative part that @The Gnat (Natalie) mentioned, it seems like gender is a less significant part of life then it is for many people (but that might just be me). 

I don't know whether they are linked. I don't remember enough to comment on it, and there's not been enough research that I've seen to comment on that.

[The Gnat (Natalie)]

23 minutes ago, Victor J said:

that definitely makes a lot of sense and would in itself make an interesting study. I am curious if you also seem to spend less time/energy on appearances. I  know a lot of people put a lot of effort into how they perform their gendered presentation, and part of it I am sure has to do with wanting to appear attractive/desirable according to gender norms. 

Honestly, I don't think I spend any less time or energy on my appearance because I'm a huge perfectionist. And I love to put effort into my look if it's for something special like getting dressed up for a party. One thing I've noticed as I've become more aware of my identity (and unlearned a lot of compulsory heterosexuality and such) is that I'm much more 'go with the flow' about my appearance. If dressing fairly masculine feels right one day, I do that. If purple lipstick and short-shorts feel right the next day, I do that. I don't think asexuality has affected my gender, but it's made me more aware of the things that I did because I felt they were expectations and not because they fit the way I felt and wanted to present myself. Hopefully that was more helpful than confusing!

[Acing It]

I think that in my case my asexuality does influence my gender. If I'm interested in something atypical for my gender then I just do it, I don't care. I don't need to attract an opposite-gender-mate in whater shape or form (taking heterowhatsit as the norm). Just my opinion but I think a lot of people adhere to gender specific roles because they want to attract someone of the opposite gender, if they are heterowhatsits.

[Mezzo Forte]

If I recall correctly, there was a fairly recent study of transgender people that found that only 4/10 trans people fully identify as straight, with 1/10 identifying as asexual.

 

I strongly believe that my asexuality is independent of my trans identity; even if I were cis (man or woman,) I would have still been asexual. That said, I had to learn of my asexuality to even start questioning my gender, because 1) I assumed I was straight/cis by default, and 2) I took my disinterest in sex to mean that I could only be a girl. Once I learned of my asexuality, I was able to start the 4+ year questioning process that I took to figure out my gender.

 

Granted, dysphoria makes me very particular about the kinds of sex I'd be hypothetically okay with, but there are forms I'd be more open to if I were attracted to anyone. I just don't experience sexual attraction through.

[Sally]

My lifelong asexuality has never had any relationship to my cis gender identification.  OP, if your study involves university students, you may come up with a skewed result for the demographic (young and internet-educated, and thus aware of social changes).   Asexuality occurs in all age ranges, and as was the case with me, many asexuals have noticed they are "different" as far as (non)sexual feelings but aren't aware of the  name and therefore don't connect themselves with it.  Unless a good sampling of all asexuals is studied, the results just won't be relevant. 

[The_Reluctant_Dragon]

Well, I think the answer is probably really complicated. It might affect some people in different ways. I believe my asexuality does affect my gender identification. For one, I wouldn’t even think about my gender without realizing I’m asexual. I would always think, “I don’t like any gender.” Then I would think, “But what gender am I?” I feel like me being agender is probably due to feeling like I don’t like any genders in a sexual and romantic way (since I’m also aromantic) and because I’m not really comfortable with genitalia, including my own. I don’t know. It seems complicated. It also might affect people in another way. Maybe their gender affects their asexuality, you never know.

[ChickenPadSeeEew]

I think body dysphoria and other things like gender confusion/questioning could lower some people's interest in and comfort with partnered sexual intimacy. When I've felt really strong dysphoria in the past, I don't want to be touched or get naked with anybody.

 

But, apart from those few stand-out moments, I don't think they're as related (in my case) as much as some people might think. I don't get a lot of body dysphoria these days. I'm pretty clear on my sense of gender and love it. Yet one day I can be more open to sex and other days not/get away from me. It doesn't seem to be related to my sense of gender at all. It's just me not needing/being that interested in sex with another person. And then, sometimes, feeling like I'd be happy to, for my partner, and generally enjoying it.

[butterflydreams]

My experience is hardly universal, but I've found that my asexuality is largely the result of my gender dissonance. Though I discovered the asexuality first, gender second. I think that's because asexuality is a bit less of a leap. It's also very clear to me that the more my gender aligns the more open to intimacy and sex I am. Though much of it still remains hypothetical because I still have the same physical body in some important regards. 

 

A lot of that comes from the dysphoria. 

[Starbogen]

11 minutes ago, butterflydreams said:

My experience is hardly universal, but I've found that my asexuality is largely the result of my gender dissonance. Though I discovered the asexuality first, gender second. I think that's because asexuality is a bit less of a leap. It's also very clear to me that the more my gender aligns the more open to intimacy and sex I am. Though much of it still remains hypothetical because I still have the same physical body in some important regards. 

 

A lot of that comes from the dysphoria. 

This is pretty much exactly what it was/is like for me.

[AwkwardAxolotl]

I don't experience sexual attraction, never have (as far as I can tell), but pre-transition I was a sex-repulsed asexual, but now that I've transitioned and my dysphoria is a tiny fraction of what it used to be, I'd be quite willing to have sex to please my partner.

[Ankh-Morpork]

I have the strong feeling that my body isn't part of myself, it's more like my home. It's a sophisticated home with all kind of sensors, self regulating stuff and other cool things – heck, it's even mobile. But it's still not me – it's my body.

 

Maybe this view is both the reason for my asexuality and my lack of gender identity? It's more like a shower thought than a serious belief, but it would be funny if that was the actual reason. I kinda doubt it, though.

[Amathy]

@Victor J  This is a question that I ponder frequently and the answer often depends on how I choose to conceptualize asexuality.  I would be very interested in a study addressing this.

 

I was dysphoric about my body long before I developmentally would have started experiencing sexual attraction.  So from this I conclude that for sure I am not cis-gendered and that my asexuality may be a symptom of my dysphoria.  This is strengthened by the fact that if I am very sex repulsed when I consider sexual stuff with my current body yet I am wistful when I think about engaging in sexual stuff if I had the body of the other sex.  At the same time, this difference in my view of sexual stuff could also be a biproduct of my reaction to societal gender and sexual ideology.  I was also raised very religiously with a sexually conservative mindset and strong gender stereotypes that could have shaped how I identify.

 

Something else to consider is the variation of not cis-gendered.  The results of a study may differ greatly when considering asexual and non-binary vs asexual and binary transgender.  Physical traits that are considered gendered are often overly sexualized.  Asexuals may not want to be sexualized so they mask gendered physical traits which may result in identifying as or being perceived as non-binary (this is just an example based on personal observation).  However, binary transgender would be embracing the sexualized physical traits of the other sex so there will be different relations between sexual and gender identity.  Also, given the difference in societal gender and sexual ideology, it would be interesting to separate this into trans men and trans women.  However, to make any meaningful conclusions, this would require a huge sample size.  

[Gladstone]

I think it's an interesting topic. To be honest, I've been wondering about this myself. I really like to wear mens' clothes and I've been thinking "Isn't it because I don't need to feel sexually attractive?" Do the research!

And let us know what the results are