SexualityIsWierdMan Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 My friend introduced me to a guy a couple weeks ago. Long story short, he talks to me before school and walks with me to my second class. I asked my friend why and she simply said, « He wants to f*ck, he’s desperate » Long story short, on top of me already finding his flirting and constant talking kinda annoying, he called me hot today, to my face no less, and I honestly can’t take this anymore. I’m getting really uncomfortable and I feel like I’m leading him on? The problem is that he hasn’t outright asked me out at all and I’ve already made it fairly clear that I am uninterested, (telling him I don’t know him enough to give him my phone number, refusing to show him my artwork when he asks to see it and tries to take my sketchbook, being really quiet around him) but he hasn’t gotten the hint yet. How do I break it to him without coming across as too forward or mean? I’m not interested at all and this is really annoying for me (he’s obnoxious and wont leave me alone) Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 I’m just going to repeat some advice that was given to me. Try and start up a conversation with a friend about relationships and stuff in front of the guy. Casually say that ur not into dating or anything while he’s there. Since he seems a little thick ur going to have to say you don’t want a relationship one way or another. If the above doesn’t work, then next time he is being obnoxious to you then your gonna have to be straightforward. Straightforward does not equal mean so don’t see it as that. Just say it politely and if he takes it the wrong way or gets mad that’s his fault. You did all you could. Hope this helps! Good luck 🍀 Link to post Share on other sites
Stheg Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 I would flat out tell him to get lost and not worry about being mean. If you've told him you aren't interested and he's not getting the picture, yet he's still following you around and bothering you, you aren't being mean to tell him to get lost from your life. Plus, if you don't like him, it doesn't matter if he thinks you are mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Brownace Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 Hi! I very often try not to "be mean," too. But, if you think about it, there is nothing mean about expressing what you feel. I would go for a compassionate way to let him know you are not interested. Something like, "Listen, you have to understand I am not interested." And if he asks you why - which pushy guys often do -, just tell him "no is no." If he does not listen, consider getting support. Maybe do it when with a friend, as someone above suggested. I guess it can be hard to treat someone who is obnoxious in a compassionate way, but it actually gives you some peace - or maybe that is just me. Good luck and stay safe! Link to post Share on other sites
SexualityIsWierdMan Posted November 3, 2017 Author Share Posted November 3, 2017 4 hours ago, mzmolly65 said: 1. I think your friend isn't a very good friend. She introduced someone to you because they were desperate to f*?? That's wrong on so many levels. No, no not because! They were alteady talking and I went up to her to say hi 4 hours ago, mzmolly65 said: 2. Some people don't read clues very well and saying things like *I don't know you well enough to give you my number* only encourages idiots to try harder. Sometimes you have to be very clear, in easy to understand words. *I am not interested in you and I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone.* .. usually hits the bullseye. If he keeps trying after that he's ready for a very public and very loud, NO!!! or a punch in the face (just kidding, I would never hit anyone and I would never encourage anyone else do that either) Yeah, that’s pretty solid advice. I think i might as well do that today. Worst comes to worst i just simply explain that i lack the ability to feel attraction Link to post Share on other sites
SexualityIsWierdMan Posted November 3, 2017 Author Share Posted November 3, 2017 6 hours ago, Syrthia said: I’m just going to repeat some advice that was given to me. Try and start up a conversation with a friend about relationships and stuff in front of the guy. Casually say that ur not into dating or anything while he’s there. Since he seems a little thick ur going to have to say you don’t want a relationship one way or another. If the above doesn’t work, then next time he is being obnoxious to you then your gonna have to be straightforward. Straightforward does not equal mean so don’t see it as that. Just say it politely and if he takes it the wrong way or gets mad that’s his fault. You did all you could. Hope this helps! Good luck 🍀 It’s actually probably a really good idea not to go into this alone. He seems to let up a little when i have friends around. Link to post Share on other sites
SexualityIsWierdMan Posted November 3, 2017 Author Share Posted November 3, 2017 I took care of it this morning! Thank you everyone for being so helpful with their advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Kersenne Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 He sounds to me like a really annoying person, and if what your friend said is true and he only want to f*ck, then he's a loser as well. In my opinion, you've been nice enough to him already. If he doesn't get the message the nice way, then you shouldn't feel bad at all about getting the message across the rough way. Just tell him outright you're interested and you would like him to leave you alone. If he keep being annoying and pushy, just stay calm and tell him he's making you super uncomfortable and that what he's doing is akin to sexual harassement (and trust me, being pushy and verbally forceful IS akin to sexual harassement. Sexual harassement doesn't have to be physical, it can also be verbal and moral). I don't know if the situation is that bad or how annoying the guy really is, but don't hesitate to tell him you don't want this. Ooh I'm sorry I only saw just now that you took care of it already^^ haha your post got me all fired up, because I hate when situations like this happen. Well if he still bothers you, I hope my advice can help you Link to post Share on other sites
Zyden Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 8 hours ago, SexualityIsWierdMan said: I took care of it this morning! Thank you everyone for being so helpful with their advice! Can I ask how you got the message aross? Ive had various problems with strange types who take my asexuality as some sort of challenge, and explaining it to them gets them even more fired up. My basic level of courtesy afterwards has then been some sort of come-hither message. I think allos are more upfront and dont find a need to explain themselves, and they don't bother with courtesy afterwards? Any success stories are appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
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