EnglandGal Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 Hi, So my partner and I are both asexual. This lead us talking about Romance. We’ve been in a relationship for 3 years now and it’s the first time it’s veen brought up. They don’t know if they feel romantic attraction, but they tell me they do love me, and it’s not the same as the love they feel for their best friends, family, dog etc. They do things for me that I say are romantic, but they recently told me that they weren’t meant to be romantic, e.g. surprise gifts, special meal. I just want to try understand what romantic attraction is, and how someone can be in a relationship but not feel romantic attraction. But still do things like hand holding, cuddles, surprises. I dont want want this to sound rude or offensive, I just want to understand. I tried researching but I’m struggling to find something that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 It sounds to me more like they have trouble seeing their feelings and actions as romantic, even though to most people, they would be. If it works for you guys, I wouldn't get too stressed out about labelling. Link to post Share on other sites
gaogao Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 I agree, as someone who doesn't think I'm a particularly romantic person - I can do a lot of things that look very romantic, and I do love my partner a lot! I don't think it's the same love I feel for my best friends or family, but I have complicated relationships with my family and my best friends are not really that close - my partner is my actual best friend. I hold her hand, cuddle her, enjoy surprising her with nice things, I even decorated the house for valentines day for her to come home to once because I thought it would be funny and I like seeing her reaction. Making her happy makes me happy. I think what I do is close enough to being called romantic for it to be romantic, even if I never really thought of it that way or recognized it as such! I know my love for my gf is a little different from her love for me, but she's also sexual whereas I am not.. but we care about and support each other and it works - I try not to get too bogged down in labels. Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 moved from sexual partners, friends & allies to romantic and aromantic orientations. iff, moderator, sexual partners, friends & allies Link to post Share on other sites
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