Ohajian Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Hello everyone ! (I'm new in here so I don't know if it's rude to just start a topic like that, and sorry if you notice any mistakes, English is not my first language !) It's been about a year since I've started asking myself questions about my romantic orientation. I didn't know this forum existed and I thought I was just going to figure it out at one point but as I've discovered it some time ago, I've decided to put my shyness away to ask a question. I'm almost 16 years old and I'm 99% sure of my asexuality, but I'm still struggling with aromantism. Everyone around me is falling in love (you know, puberty) and I haven't ever been in love with anyone, and I don't even feel like I'm able to fall in love (if that makes sense(?)). However, romance doesn't annoy me at all, I love reading romance novels, and I even wished at some point that I would fall in love. When I found out about aromantism, I was kind of in denial, telling myself that I will find someone, things like that. At that time I was also (and I'm honestly still a bit) desesperately trying to fall in love with someone. Do you think I am aromantic ? Link to post Share on other sites
Random User Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 7 minutes ago, Ohajian said: Hello everyone ! (I'm new in here so I don't know if it's rude to just start a topic like that, and sorry if you notice any mistakes, English is not my first language !) It's been about a year since I've started asking myself questions about my romantic orientation. I didn't know this forum existed and I thought I was just going to figure it out at one point but as I've discovered it some time ago, I've decided to put my shyness away to ask a question. I'm almost 16 years old and I'm 99% sure of my asexuality, but I'm still struggling with aromantism. Everyone around me is falling in love (you know, puberty) and I haven't ever been in love with anyone, and I don't even feel like I'm able to fall in love (if that makes sense(?)). However, romance doesn't annoy me at all, I love reading romance novels, and I even wished at some point that I would fall in love. When I found out about aromantism, I was kind of in denial, telling myself that I will find someone, things like that. At that time I was also (and I'm honestly still a bit) desesperately trying to fall in love with someone. Do you think I am aromantic ? Hello and welcome ! You can labelize yourself as you feel, if you feel like an aro ace, you can use the label but for me, you kinda sound like a romantic ace. ^^ Well, I'm saying this but I'm also questionning about this, but not for the same reasons sooo, you should wait for other answers, my point of view can be wrong ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
The Gnat (Natalie) Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 To be honest, nobody can tell you whether you're aro or not but you. (I know that's not helpful, so sorry, but it's true.) I do think you might want to consider demi- or grey-romantic. I'm demi, and I love all of that romantic stuff in theory (like you said about romance novels) and have always liked the idea of finding a romantic partner. That said, I've only ever had one crush, which was on one of my best friends at the time (a couple years ago), and it was such an isolated experience that I can't really even remember what it felt like?? That sounds insane, but I look back on it, and I'm like, "I wanted to date him? I wanted his undivided attention?? I would have been eager to hold his hand??? Sounds fake but okay..." I don't know. I remember it happening and not thinking it was weird at the time, but now I'm so confused by it. I'm going to stop rambling now, but I guess my point is that it isn't a hard line between allo and aro. You may belong with me somewhere in the grey area Hope this was helpful and not more confusing! Link to post Share on other sites
Ohajian Posted October 31, 2017 Author Share Posted October 31, 2017 Thank you very much Random User ! I'm actually afraid of mis-labelling myself and ending up having to go to the ones I would have came out to to tell them I mis-labelled myself (I don't know if this makes sense ?). They may judge me and tell me I'm an attention whore for "trying not to be normal" or something like that Link to post Share on other sites
Ohajian Posted October 31, 2017 Author Share Posted October 31, 2017 Ohh it's possible, I should go and read more about it ! I was so obsessed with aromantism I actually never really considered the whole spectrum Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Enjoying romance novels doesn't mean you're not aromantic. Aromanticism doesn't have to mean you're annoyed by romance; it just means that you're not romantically attracted to anyone. It's possible that you are aro, though you're still young and it's possible that you just haven't found someone to be in love with yet. (I know that sounds like an annoying cliche, and I'm not trying to invalidate you; I'm just saying that it's possible.) Question: when you say that you have wanted and still want to fall in love with someone, do you mean that you think you would like a romantic relationship, or just that you don't want to be different? Link to post Share on other sites
Ohajian Posted October 31, 2017 Author Share Posted October 31, 2017 I want to be in a relationship, there's nothing wrong with being different Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 5 minutes ago, Ohajian said: I want to be in a relationship, there's nothing wrong with being different I agree. Have you heard of cupioromantic? That means you don't experience romantic attraction, but still desire a romantic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Ohajian Posted October 31, 2017 Author Share Posted October 31, 2017 It seems so accurate, I didn't even know it existed ! Link to post Share on other sites
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