VarienBlueblood Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Hello! I'm making this forum bc it seems like the best place to get advice on the subject. My friend is somewhat lithromantic and has been in a relationship with her current boyfriend for around a year now. They recently got engaged, so he could keep her while he went to college. But recently, however, she told me that the lith has set in, and she's losing attraction to him. She's really nervous about it and needs advice, and I can't give it to her. So I ask you, lovely people of AVEN. Do you have any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 . Link to post Share on other sites
VarienBlueblood Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 They met in high school while he was a senior and she was a junior. It wasn't really a college relationship, but I suppose it could be taken as one. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLittleRabbit Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 My advice: She should be honest with him. The only way the two of them can decide the best way to move forward is if both of them are aware of the situation. There is no way to force yourself to be attracted to someone, or more attracted to them than you are. Going forward, maybe they'll decide that it might help if they did video chatting or the like more often, or maybe they'll decide they're both unhappy with where their relationship is going. Also, just saying, it's kind of a shitty thing to elevate your relationship with someone so you don't lose them/"can keep them". That's pretty much setting yourself up for emotional abuse and manipulation. That being said, I'm guilty of having done it to my ex, but I realize now that being in a relationship with someone, just so that you have enough control over them to stop them from leaving you, is not healthy. So if she is losing interest in her relationship as it is growing less healthy, then maybe her instincts are for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyWallflower Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Honesty is always the best policy! She should try to tell him her feelings in a kind way. A break-up might happen. But that's the part of life. I wish her good luck! (Also, I was uneasy about your comment that they got engaged so "he could keep her." That might just be awkward wording on your part, but if that's how your friend describes her engagement, then it might not be a fully healthy relationship. That is not a good way to view things.) Link to post Share on other sites
VarienBlueblood Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 It was an awkward wording, but I didn't know how else to put it. They were going to get engaged, but they just wanted to put a ring on it. It was her idea bc she knew nothing would happen, but she was still nervous of hyjinks. I appreciate all of these answers, by the way! Link to post Share on other sites
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