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AVENguy

Semisexuality

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If anyone wants to play a fun game, go to some queer-ass conference (called something like "transcending boundaries") and play a game where you try to think up a term/identity for every letter of the alphabet.

When you do you'll be forced to think up new, interesting ideas like:

Semisexual

It occurs to me that we've got a spectrum of sexual intensity, but we don't yet have a word for those who are halfway in between asexual and full-force sexual. I'd say that this is extremely important: right now we don't have a way to talk about people who are asexual but maybe feel like being sexual once a year, or sexual people who are just relatively uninterested and don't know what to do about it.

Thoughts?

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I like "semisexual." It's probably not the best word, in terms of actual meaning, but it sounds so nice, especially when you fudge the pronounciation a bit and say it "sem-ee-sexual."

Why, yes, I need sleep. Why do you ask?

I also approve of this concept: board regulars will know I'm big on keeping the definition of "asexual" relatively pure, so anything that keeps people who aren't asexual from having to adopt the label is good in my book.

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I love new words. Semisexual is a good one, actually. Would that mean 'asexual' meant someone who had zero desire full stop or someone who never had an inkling of desire to be touched sexually (whatever that means) by another person but may be autosexual?

Cate

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Semisexual... I would like to see the sexuals try to tackle that one. They'd probably be like, "So you like to have sex with trucks?" *lol*

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What about the letters W, Z, X, Y?

Ah... ah... (thinks) o_O

Wychsexual, Xenosexual, Yottasexual, and Zeptosexual 8)

(Actually, those were dumb and made no sense, and I really, really hope nobody has a dictionary to look up the prefixes :shock: )

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This is an interesting concept... I wonder if I'd be considered "psycho-sexual" in that things in my head sound an awful lot better than they do when I'm faced with the reality of it. Hmmm. *strokes chin*

Is there somewhere I could find the AVEN definition of "desire"? I'm curious as to whether we're all using the term to mean the same thing. I've certainly never thought of myself as "desiring" to be touched sexually - by myself or anybody else - but I think there's a difference between desiring sex, and liking the feelings that may or may not come with being touched a certain way.

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There's not an official AVEN definition of desire because I severly doubt we could agree on one (thread anyone?) though I've got my personal ideas...

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I think it depends on how you define "full force sexual". Do you mean perverision? Because in that case the people half way would just be normal...right? most normal people wonder why some ppl cant get "it" off their brains for 10 min at a time.

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I also approve of this concept: board regulars will know I'm big on keeping the definition of "asexual" relatively pure, so anything that keeps people who aren't asexual from having to adopt the label is good in my book.

I guess that keeping the term 'pure' is pretty difficult with something like asexuality. Most of us arrive at Aven not entirely sure what we are, we are all in different situations and searching for other people that we can relate to. There are some sinilarities between us that have drawn us all to the site, but its difficult to say whether we are all using the same definitions because everyone come with their own unique set of experiences and perceptions.

I, for example, had identified as celibate for nearly a year before finding Aven, because I had never come across the term asexual (outside of biological reproduction contexts). Now I realise that the term celibate doesnt apply because I haven't made a concious choice to abstain from sex. But I'm also not sure that I was 'born asexual', as I did have some sexual experiences as a teenager that I did enjoy. All I know is that I'm not interested in -excuse me - penetration, and that this is the main reason why I have avoided sexual relationships for the past 7 years.

Originally, when I came to Aven, I read through the definitions of the different Types, and identified as a Type B. Having thought about it further, I now believe myself to be closer to a Type C. Yes, I DO have a sex drive (though it is extremely low), and I do experience attraction to members of the opposite gender which could be construed as sexual in nature. But I would never want to take this attraction through to its sexual conclusion. I think maybe my attraction is more aesthetic in nature and that, whilst the idea of being sexually involved with someone I am attracted to might appeal within my mind at certain times, the fantasy is more beautiful and arousing than the reality.

What am I getting at? I can't really remember! But I'm glad that I've managed to get all these thoughts that were flying around in my head out in the form of words. :D Any comments?

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I guess that keeping the term 'pure' is pretty difficult with something like asexuality. Most of us arrive at Aven not entirely sure what we are, we are all in different situations and searching for other people that we can relate to. There are some sinilarities between us that have drawn us all to the site, but its difficult to say whether we are all using the same definitions because everyone come with their own unique set of experiences and perceptions.

*head nodding* Right on, right on.

I, for example, had identified as celibate for nearly a year before finding Aven...Now I realise that the term celibate doesnt apply because I haven't made a concious choice to abstain from sex...All I know is that I'm not interested in -excuse me - penetration, and that this is the main reason why I have avoided sexual relationships for the past 7 years.

Yep, not interested in the Big Nasty, that's a good reason to avoid sexual relationships. I also identified as celibate for two or three years simply to have something to call myself.

...I now believe myself to be closer to a Type C. Yes, I DO have a sex drive (though it is extremely low), and I do experience attraction to members of the opposite gender which could be construed as sexual in nature. But I would never want to take this attraction through to its sexual conclusion. I think maybe my attraction is more aesthetic in nature and that, whilst the idea of being sexually involved with someone I am attracted to might appeal within my mind at certain times, the fantasy is more beautiful and arousing than the reality.

I agree. What goes on in my head is much more attractive than what happens in real life. I think that some sexuals go looking for the fantasy and are then disappointed when they don't find it. The media sells the fantasy, after all, and says everyone can have that ideal. I can be attracted to people based on an aesthetic and intellectual connection as well and sometimes I want to pursue that down an indefinable path. The path never leads to sex, though.

Any comments?

Nope, none at all. :D

Cate

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When we get down to the root of things, I think we would have 5+ billion different identities/terms/labels, because everybody feels and experiences things differently.

For me right now I won't argue with generally considering myself a straight sexual, but I don't want to classify my feelings and desires any further than that, it would be either restricting, broad, or omissive. A few months ago I came up with the term emotional-sexual, but that doesn't describe nearly enough. I don't know if a book would be adequate to describe who I am, so I'm not going to settle with one word doing the job.

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I like that other people have expressed this "it's better in theory than in practice" idea. That is a lot like me. Some of my private fantasies are about people I said "no" to in real life during my experimentation phase-- even at the time, I realized it might be fun THEORETICALLY, but not in practice, with all the stickiness and weird what-was-that-all-about feeling I get afterwards. When I did have sex for a couple of years, and tried to actually do some of the things that I had thought about, I realized that my private sexual fantasies often violate the laws of physics. Literally-- weightlessness is a big theme, for example, the positions I had thought of would never work with a real partner because of the weight of the involved parties.

So that's "F": Flyingosexual, meaning, if I could have sex while weightless, maybe I would. (Or maybe "Aerosexual," but A is already taken twice, by "Allies [of GLBT people]" and Asexual.) Wouldn't want anybody to see me though, I would need an aero-blanket or else be flying over wilderness. Of course, my favorite dreams involve flying withOUT being sexual, so maybe I should just take up hang-gliding and forget about the whole sex thing. :)

I think "semisexual" is a great term too, for people who might do it once every year or two. It also sort of reminds me of "semisweet chocolate," and anything that reminds me of chocolate can't be bad.

Finally, I think the notion of coming up with an "-osexual" for every letter of the alphabet is hilarious. I once saw an advertisement for Duluth (Minnesota) Pride, that, in all seriousness, said it was welcoming to "GLBTAQI" people (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans, Allies, Questioning, Intersexed-- asexuals were left out). I think that when you have to start coming up with so many identities, perhaps the whole idea that sexuality is a central part of human biological identity is called into question. Before they invented the notion that the earth revolves around the sun, they had this very complex and byzantine theory called "epicycles," where each planet rotated around the earth but also did a little circular dance around this imaginary point along its orbit-- too complicated to explain, but they needed this complexity to make their theory agree with observation. Perhaps all the unending "-osexuals" that keep getting invented, are a little hint that sexuality isn't what our psyches rotate around. :shock:

dave

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Flyingosexual

LMFAO! :D

Now THERE's a mental image!

Edit: I just thought you should know that you made me spit shreddies all over myself with the laughter! Thanks :wink:

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Hmm, it was very interesting. I agree that semisexual is a great term. Sexuality is such a broad spectrum...it's odd that so few people think about it in such broad terms!

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'Flyosexual'= a member of the Mile High Club? Really indescriminate flight attendants? Cirque de Soleil groupies?

Cate

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I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!! W, X, Y, and Z, that is.

W = wintersexual. Only has sex during the winter, or in the snow.

X = X-mensexual. People who lust after the X-men characters, or any superhero.

Y = Yoyosexual, or Yodasexual. One who uses a yoyo as a sex toy while fantasising about little green aliens with pointy ears.

Z = Zebrasexual. Self explanatory :lol:

EDIT: Even better for Z: Zombiesexual!

I suppose I could call myself ZombieAsexual since I think Jason kicks so much ass, and him being asexual too :mrgreen:

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PWAHAHAHA!!!!

* topples over in another hysterical giggle fit *

* has to hit the MedicAlert button again *

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GAAH HA HA HA!!!!! :lol:

*hack* *wheeze* Owwie... (holds her throat) :x *kaff* *kaff*

I hate being sick :?

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I'm still trying to find something that adequately describes myself.

I have a "normal" sex drive, or possibly even greater at times.

I think about sex in favourable terms (i.e. not repulsed) unless excessive details are involved.

I love doing anything up to but not including having sex. My definition of non-sexual activity would include a lot of things that people here would call sexual, but I think it's about intent and purpose rather than action.

But I feel disconnected and distracted during sex, and don't enjoy it from either a physical or psychological angle.

So I realise that I'm probably not asexual by the true definition, but I'm in another category of person who doesn't have sex and not by choice. I find my desire to have sex (beyond mere fantasy) is next to nil, although I crave intimacy.

How on earth would one go about defining that? :P

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It occurs to me that we've got a spectrum of sexual intensity, but we don't yet have a word for those who are halfway in between asexual and full-force sexual. I'd say that this is extremely important: right now we don't have a way to talk about people who are asexual but maybe feel like being sexual once a year, or sexual people who are just relatively uninterested and don't know what to do about it.

Thoughts?

I thought that was how hyposexual was defined...

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