Wildest Questions You've Been Asked

[the-spaceace]

As someone who participates in my university's Speakout program, (a program that sends small panels of queer people from our campus LGBT+ club to classrooms to tell our coming out stories and answer questions) I've gotten some pretty wild questions when it comes to the Q&A part of the program. Usually people just ask me to elaborate and explain asexuality and sometimes romantic orientations. But there are a couple questions I've gotten where I kind of just sit there because I have no idea how they came up with the idea that asking those questions made sense.

 

For example, the first year I did the program, one of my first panels I was asked in front of the entire classroom of students if I masturbate. That was a fun one. I am now in my third year of this program and just the other week, I finished explaining what asexuality was and a student raised their hand and asked me how lesbian sex works. The only answer I had was, "I don't know, I've never had it."

 

What about you all? What are some wild questions you've been asked as an asexual or other asexual spectrum identities?

[DayDreamer~]

I haven't really been asked any wild questions, more so I just get the whole dumbfounded "Wait, that's a thing?" or "So, like, you feel nothing?"

 

I guess one of my favorites was after explaining asexuality to my then-boyfriend at the time, and after trying to be as specific as possible and stressing the fact sex was nothing I would ever do for multiple reasons, he then went on to ask: "But that changes the closer you get to someone, right?"

Yes. After I specifically stressed I would NOT do it and that it had NO link to how much I'm romantically invested in a person. Sure. x_x *sighs*

[Pamalla-Shay]

I haven't been asked anything too weird.. I have gotten the do you masturbate question, and are you even human? those kinds of things plus have you ever had sex?.... this isn't really weird but I find it cool. I have this strait guy friend and we talked for like 2 hours trying to explain each others sexuality, it  was kind of fun and I learned somethings I think I mean I still don't get how he wants to have sex but whatever.

[the-spaceace]

3 minutes ago, Pamalla-Shay said:

I haven't been asked anything too weird.. I have gotten the do you masturbate question, and are you even human? those kinds of things plus have you ever had sex?.... this isn't really weird but I find it cool. I have this strait guy friend and we talked for like 2 hours trying to explain each others sexuality, it  was kind of fun and I learned somethings I think I mean I still don't get how he wants to have sex but whatever.

I did something like that with a friend of mine too. He really didn't understand asexuality as I was trying to explain it and kept asking why I didn't want to have sex in a relationship. He just kept saying "but sex". We finally let it drop for the time and I tried again on a different occasion. I still don't know if he fully gets it but he's never been mean to me for it, so that's important too.

[Pamalla-Shay]

@the-spaceace  my friend actually tried to explain why he wanted it and the feelings and scientific stuff that goes with it.. It kind of makes sense to me why people would want it now but not really. he is perfectly  ok with me being ace as with my other friends, but of course he doesn't get the fact that I don't want sex. it still confuses him and I get that.

[the-spaceace]

@Pamalla-Shay I mean me too, since I get confused as to why every single odd thing in advertising needs to be sexualized. It's just something we all need to work on understanding from each other. We're all confused.

[Pamalla-Shay]

@the-spaceace sooo true

[RiseOfCourage]

"So...you think you're a plant?" Was one absurd question when daring to reveal my sexual standing. Another: "What, you trying to be different?" and "You ever had an orgasm? If not, you don't know what you're talking about."

Wow, what bold, and incorrect, assumptions people have made!

They always seem to assume we're striving to be different...what a crock.

[Pamalla-Shay]

@RiseOfCourage  I have heard those ones before 

[the-spaceace]

@RiseOfCourage I haven't gotten the plant one but I've gotten the "like cells when they clone themselves?" Like yes, there's now two of me and we're both going to punch you.

[nothinbuttrouble]

my shrink, "can you orgasm?"

[the-spaceace]

@nothinbuttrouble what the hell really?

[Podsnap]

I've gotten:

 

Do you masturbate?

 

Did someone touch a sensitive spot?

 

How do you know you aren't gay?

 

Who raped you?

 

Don't you have hormones?

[the-spaceace]

@podsnap I haven't gotten some of those but I have heard of people getting asked them and I'm so sorry you had to experience that. It's awful.

[WinterWanderer]

After I came out to someone as asexual, he asked me what turns me on, since I'm not turned on by people. O.o

 

Also:

 

"I haven't wanted sex in the last few weeks. Does that mean I'm asexual?"

[Silk Bones]

From what I can think of, I've been asked:

• "Are you a plant? You can make copies of yourself right? That's so cool."
• "So do you masturbate?"
• "Do you watch porn? What kind of porn?"
• "So asexual means you're gay right?"

 

And questions that have been asked, even when they do know about it. Still leaves me with no words to this day:

• "I know you're asexual, but what are your turn ons?"
• "Are you a top or bottom? You look like a top to me."
• "How come we haven't had sex yet? I'm fucking dying over here."

[the-spaceace]

@Peinture Paix I hate the assumption that asexual automatically means gay. Like I personally am attracted to people of similar gender to myself, but that doesn't go for everyone! There are heteroromantic people who are ace! It's an annoying and harmful stereotype.

[Silk Bones]

5 minutes ago, the-spaceace said:

@Peinture Paix I hate the assumption that asexual automatically means gay. Like I personally am attracted to people of similar gender to myself, but that doesn't go for everyone! There are heteroromantic people who are ace! It's an annoying and harmful stereotype.

I 100% agree with you. It seems there's a lot of work to do in teaching others what asexuality truly means, and what it equates to. 

[swirl_of_blue]

I've run to people thinking asexuality (or anything on the grey spectrum) just means I'm really picky over what kinds of sex (PIV, oral etc) I like and then I get told "but we can just do the things you like, I'll respect your boundaries". And when I say "OK, then genitals aren't going to be involved" the prospective partner in question is quite confused and can't believe what they just heard. Those, however, who understand that "no sex" is preferred also often think all asexuals are aromantics as well, and desire no romantic relationships at all. I haven't been asked it outright, but "are asexuals capable of feeling love?" seems to be very common question.

[OakTree]

I've had a lot of weird and wonderful to the plain disrespectful questions asked about being Ace. Here are the ones I can remember:

• "Ah, that's cool. Would you sleep with [insert name]?"
• "That's not even a real thing. What are you talking about?" 
• "So, you're basically straight, right?" -- the amount of times I've had that question asked to me!!
• "how don't you want sex? It's the best. Oh my God"

[the-spaceace]

@OakTree @swirl_of_blue @Peinture Paix I agree with all of your sentiments on needing to really educate people. I normally get questions regarding romantic relations as was mentioned in one of your posts and the way I usually explain it is "I want to take someone out for coffee but I don't want to take them to bed." And that usually gets the idea across.

[Skycaptain]

Worst one I had asked to me 

 

"do you have a girlfriend?" "no" 

"do you have a boyfriend, then?" "no" 

"so you like children then?"!!!!! 

 

I reported this individual to my then boss and their contract was revoked, but I was still somewhat discomfited that that conversation had even taken place 

[the-spaceace]

@Skycaptain That is super disconcerting...how the hell does one even come to that conclusion?

[Pamalla-Shay]

people really just don't get us do they?

[the-spaceace]

@Pamalla-Shay No they don't. It sucks but it's up to us to educate and help them understand.

[TheAP]

5 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

Worst one I had asked to me 

 

"do you have a girlfriend?" "no" 

"do you have a boyfriend, then?" "no" 

"so you like children then?"!!!!! 

 

I reported this individual to my then boss and their contract was revoked, but I was still somewhat discomfited that that conversation had even taken place 

What? The only options are straight, gay or pedophile? How does that even make sense?  

[Hermit Advocate]

"Asexual? Like, as in a plant?"

 

"So do you masturbate?"

 

"Oh, but you'd still have sex with your husband right?" 

[Laplace]

I’ve been asked some outrageous things, but I’m so impervious that it doesn’t really register as bizarre at the time. I’m just like, “Eh, who cares?” I’ll just list the top one from each gender:

 

Girl - “Do you want to see my tits?”

If you wanna try and flash me, I couldn’t care less. It was meant to provoke a reaction cause I had a reputation for being rather serious, but still WTF kind of question is that? Begone thot, cant you see I’m doing my homework. 😠

Guy - “How often do you masturbate?”

Bro, you don’t need to know, and it’s super weird to ask that out of the blue. I’m not interested in discussing this. 😐 This doesn’t need to evolve into a prolonged discussion of habits.

[Kururin]

Hoooo boy, if I had a dollar for every stupid/weird question I've been asked, I would be able to afford xbl gold for the next 5 years. 

 

'So basically you hate everyone that likes sex?'

'Are you a plant?'

'Are you homophobic? You won't have sex with girls!' - I swear if anyone tells me this one more time, someone gets vanquished by magic.

'Would you sleep with that guy over there if I were to pay you 50$?'

'Are you sure it's not something to do with your social anxiety?'

'Are you becoming a Christian or something?

'I think you really need to get laid, don't you think?'

 

And my favorite of all time from an SJW on Tumblr

 

'So, you basically bi but with higher standards who isn't that attractive so she makes up a label?' 

Hahahahahahahaha *falls* 

 

 

[Lotta_Biscotti]

I dunno that I'd consider it wild, but it was funny and kinda sad:

 

"So, like... What do you do, then?"

 

Just wanted to know what a person did when their priorities weren't all sex and romance-related. Genuinely just wanted to know what I did with the time. I talked to her about my hobbies. ...It was rather dumb, but she didn't realize it was dumb.