Should I cut my hair?

[Lore_1324]

So, my birthday is coming up, and I was thinking of asking my parents if I could get my hair cut short. I've always had long hair, it runs in my family, but I hate having long hair, and it makes me feel too feminine. But the problem is, I haven't come out to my parents, and I don't know if this is a coming out opportunity, or if I should just not give a reason for wanting my hair cut. Advice?

[ReyGraves]

If you think they’d react well then coming out wouldn’t be a bad idea. But if you’re really against coming out then you can say you’d like a pixie cut. It’s not uncommon for females to have short hair nowadays.

 

If they ask (and you don’t want to come out) then you could say that you just want to try something new. My “excuse” was that I didn’t do anything with my hair anyway (it lived in a ponytail for half a year), and I’ve wanted a pixie for awhile. Remind them that it’s hair and that it’ll grow back. 

 

Good luck!

[Homer]

I wonder why you would need your parents' permission in the first place. "Next time I'd rather get my hair cut short." EOD.

[mistfallen]

Tell them you want it that way because it's much easier to take care of, you will use up less shampoo/ conditioner, and it'll take you less time in the morning to style! Aside from just liking the look of short hair, that's legit why I cut mine haha

If they still are iffy, cut it shoulder length and wait a few weeks to give yourself a "trim" and "accidentally" mess it up by cutting it shorter ;P not the most honest way to go, but if it'll make you feel comfortable, I'm all for it!

[kani]

2 hours ago, Homer said:

I wonder why you would need your parents' permission in the first place. "Next time I'd rather get my hair cut short." EOD.

I feel like money might be the reason, but also asking beforehand would be a way to avoid seeming like they're rebelling or something. I remember dying my hair red once and my step mom told me my "rebellion" is not going to work. There was really no way of explaining that I just wanted to try it out, as she can be quite irrational sometimes.

[Homer]

What's so "rebellious" about dying or cutting your hair? one of the great mysteries of life...

[HonoraryJedi]

Sometimes women cut their hair short because they want short hair. I don't think that is strange, and I don't think you need to give a more specific reason if you rather keep the genderidentity reason private for a while longer. If your parents make a huge deal about the length of your hair(?) they are the weird ones. Wanting short hair is all the reason you need to cut your hair short^^

[just an owl]

11 hours ago, Shylock said:

 I've always had long hair, it runs in my family,

...long hair doesn't run in the family, right?

 

Anyway, you could also say you want to donate it to charity.

[Lore_1324]

Thanks to all you who replied, I didn't think that that many people would.😆

I see that some of you have questions though, so here we go

19 hours ago, Homer said:

I wonder why you would need your parents' permission in the first place. "Next time I'd rather get my hair cut short." EOD.

The resin I need permission is because I happen to be still in high school, and my parents are quite overprotective. My sister is 12, and she very recently got a hair cut that took almost 2 feet off her hair, and my mom freaked out about it afterward, and she still says that it looked better long. My mom has never cut her own hair shorter than her lower back, and I have only ever gotten a trim on my hair before. 

16 hours ago, HonoraryJedi said:

Sometimes women cut their hair short because they want short hair. I don't think that is strange, and I don't think you need to give a more specific reason if you rather keep the genderidentity reason private for a while longer. If your parents make a huge deal about the length of your hair(?) they are the weird ones. Wanting short hair is all the reason you need to cut your hair short^^

My parents are very inquisitive folk. If I say that I want to go over to a friends house, I have to makes plans a week ahead of time, and my parents have to know their parents. If I just randomly say that I want short hair, they are going to want at least three valid reasons for getting it so short.

8 hours ago, just an owl said:

...long hair doesn't run in the family, right?

 

Anyway, you could also say you want to donate it to charity.

I didn't really mean that it runs in the family, I just meant that a there are a lot of girls in my family, and they all have long hair. My great grandma had hair that touched the floor when she was a teen, and my aunt has hair that goes down to her knees. I'm glad you brought up charity though, because that is a good point. Both my grandpa and my (male) cousin donated their hair to Locks for Love after growing out really long. 

 

I'm glad you guys have given me so much good feed back, and I will consider what you have said, but ultimately, I will have to make the decision soon, my birthday is in a week.😬

[HonoraryJedi]

It sounds like your parents are being annoying about it, and I can't really change their minds. My opinion still stands, but I can be a little more detailed. "Because you want to" can be phrased as "I thought about it and I think it would look nice/cute/cool on me" whatever adjective you think would be true enough to say and they would approve of. Try also, finding a reference to the style you like, maybe on a celebrity or so. That way you have something specific you can show with "I like it to look like this, specifically". You could also make an argument about weight, if your hair is thick. I am happy with my long hair in general, but even so I sometimes feel like chopping it all of in order to have less weight on my head.  But really "I don't like long hair as much as you do. I want to have it short." Is valid. At least ask. Then they know it has been on your mind at least, when you bring it up again next year.

 

 

[Fighting_For_Us]

Hi!

So, I'm a bio female and happy with it, so my situation is obviously different then yours.

But I do have short hair - like, super short. I even shaved my head at one point in time.

When I told my parents I wanted to cut my hair short I showed them some pictures of what I was thinking. My mom was fine with it, and after some thinking my dad was too. I was fifteen at the time and had had long hair my whole life pretty much.

It's easier to take care of, uses less product, and allows for more experimentation because it's short so it grows out quick.

I I know many women and men who all have short hair.

So, if you're comfortable coming out and feel ready, maybe go ahead and do that, but if you don't...short hair isn't by default a gender thing. It's a style thing too, and a way to show confidence. 

 

Good luck! 🍰

[JeyAce]

Hello @Shylock!  You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you want to cut your hair other than 'I want to'.  When I chopped my hair off it was very personally affirming for me but those around me that I am not out to yet had no comments on whether it made me look more masculine or not.  Pretty much everyone really loved the cut and I've gone a little shorter each time I get it cut.  I have a post floating around somewhere about my hair cutting experience, I think it's in Celebration Time.  Cutting my hair was very personally validating for me in a way that others just didn't see and that is cool with me because I am still exploring and it gives me space to do so without other's judgement.  My point is that, if you personally want to cut your hair, other's opinions shouldn't stand in the way of that.  If you want to come out, other people's opinions shouldn't stand in the way of that.  If you're not ready to come out, other people's opinions shouldn't stand in the way of that.  You are you, even if you haven't told people yet.  If your parents have a bird about you cutting your hair, remind them it will grow back and that it's YOUR hair.  Good luck!

 

Also, I love your quote about staying up all night to finish a book, as a fellow bibliophile, I salute you!