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Gender Fluid and Confused


PonderingCat

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  • PonderingCat
  • Members
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  • 5 posts
  • Gender:Genderfluid
  • Pronouns:She/her
  • A/Sexuality:Demi- something- romantic (still figuring this out), Gray-a-sexual (figuring this out, too)

A couple months ago I found out I was gender fluid, and it was awesome to be able to find a word to describe myself. Since then I have been figuring out what this means for me and I have a question that I hope someone will be able to help me with or relate to.

 

So, I'm pretty sure that I'm only attracted to males, but I am for sure demi-romantic, and have only had two crushes in the last four years (I'm in high school, so basically for all of middle school I only had two crushes.) These "crushes" were both on males, but I know that I did not like them because of their male gender, therefor leading to a bit of confusion wondering if I could be pan-romantic.

 

But, only adding to the muddle, I am gender fluid, and there are some days (or weeks, or months) I feel more masculine, and other I feel more feminine; however, when I envision myself in a relationship I usually envision myself as a male, leading me to wonder if maybe I'm trans? (as biologically I am female). But I also wonder if the dysphoria of my masculine days (or weeks, or months) could be affecting my romantic feelings.

 

I'm sorry this post is kinda a mess (and this site may not really be the place to post it), but I hope that someone may have answers or be able to relate. If you want to ask a clarifying question feel free to, thank you! :*

 

(I had posted this in the wrong place before, so shout out to InquisitivePhilosipher for pointing out this forum out!)

 
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SamwiseLovesLife

The cat is pretty :3

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Hi PonderingCat!

 

So what exactly are your questions?

 

Being genderfluid alone is already qualifying you for being trans, if you choose to identify that way. I do.

 

That you gender affects your attractions is possible, it's not unheard of. I'm usually much more attracted to men the more masculine I am. And I see myself as a masculine counterpart to whichever man I am attracted to. Attraction to women is complicated, even though it's way more consistent in my life. I feel conflicted about what my gender means in that scenario. Somehow it amplifies my male- and otherness, but at the same time it draws parallels because I am afab, so I am relating to them but it also makes me dysphoric etc. .

 

When it comes to labels you can just not use one, and describe it as it is, attraction to men. If you're out you could call yourself gay. If not maybe not. It really is about you and how you want and are able to live your life.

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Thanks for your help, I feel like I have a bit more clarity as of my identity, I think maybe not using a specific label may be helpful. 

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