PGOT__DM Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Hi All, the last 4-5 years of my life (18 yo male btw) have been a struggle regarding my sexuality. I identify as an asexual person because the thought of any OAV sex is very unappealing, approaching disgusting to me. You see I've never been one to talk about this stuff too much to friends or family so this is a bit hard to admit....but I have a problem with masturbating too much, probably an average of 5+ times a day and to what you ask? Well I have a few non-sexual (meaning having nothing to do with OAV) fetishes that make me get very horny, gonna restrain from revealing what those are but they are all pretty normal fetishes (most of which involve me being submissive) The situation further complexes itself when I get into my romantic feelings, while I desire a hetero romantic relationship the thought of what comes with such relationship puts me off and I don't think that me not wanting sex would create a healthy and fair relationship for a potential partner. I'm not really into kissing, maybe cuddling and sleeping in the same bed together, having someone to talk to, and that's about it. Thoughts of long term stuff either scare me or doesn't interest me (idk which) and I don't think committing to one person for life is reasonable or healthy. This leads to all potential relationships that arise to feel very awkward as I am certainly interested but not for the same reasons as the other party. What I want of a relationship is close to friends with some romantic benefits with little more, which I know is unfair but also know I cannot help but feel that way. If you made it this far I'd like to thank you. I didn't make this as a pull for sympathy I made this because I feel like I needed to write it down and share it with accepting others. I hope someone with similar issues will read this and know they aren't alone and while there may not be any clear answers you shouldn't change yourself, but please remember to be fair to others around you. I'm not depressed or anything such, just looking for a place to put this and hear others thoughts, sorry for the essay Link to post Share on other sites
The Gnat (Natalie) Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 First of all, there really is nothing wrong with wanting a romantic relationship minus the sexy stuff. (I think you'll find you're in good company around here--myself included.) Second, it sounds to me like what you might be looking for is a queer platonic relationship (what you're describing as a friendship with romantic benefits). I don't have any threads in mind off the top of my head, but if you search the term, I know there are plenty of AVENites discussing QP relationships in various threads. Hopefully this helps or at least gives you something new to ponder Happy AAW! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Natalie's comment seems spot on to me. I would only add: you may not be able to answer all these questions and issues right away, and if you can't, it's perfectly fine. The human brain continues to mature and change in big ways until age 25, sexuality included. What you feel, want, think, and need may change or clarify on its own over the next seven years. It doesn't sound like your sexual activity is harming you or anyone else, so be patient with yourself. And if there is something that you feel is unhealthy or needs changing now, I'm always a big fan of enlisting a therapist you trust to help. Any good therapist worthy of the title will be non-judgmental, confidential, and have your well-being as his or her goal. Link to post Share on other sites
PGOT__DM Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 6 hours ago, The Gnat (Natalie) said: First of all, there really is nothing wrong with wanting a romantic relationship minus the sexy stuff. (I think you'll find you're in good company around here--myself included.) Second, it sounds to me like what you might be looking for is a queer platonic relationship (what you're describing as a friendship with romantic benefits). I don't have any threads in mind off the top of my head, but if you search the term, I know there are plenty of AVENites discussing QP relationships in various threads. Hopefully this helps or at least gives you something new to ponder Happy AAW! Read up a bit on QPR and I have to say that is pretty close to how I feel and definitely worth note, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 What does OAV mean? Or perhaps I asked too quickly because I think I've figured it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 20 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said: What does OAV mean? Or perhaps I asked too quickly because I think I've figured it out. I assume it means oral/anal/vaginal...or Owls Administer Vaccines. Or maybe Orangutans Acting Violent? Nah, prety sure it just means oral/anal/vaginal... As for the OP, there are a lot of people here who are similar to you. You're also going to meet a lot of people irl over the coming years of your life, and you'll discover more about yourself with the many formative experiences awaiting you. I'm not saying this in a "you're too young to know yourself" way, but a "there is much to come for you" way. Link to post Share on other sites
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