SwitchOff Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Hello, I dont really know where to start but i was diagnosed with Vaginismus when I was 16. Im 22 now and in my entire life I have never touched myself, Ive always been an unaffectionate person but lately Ive been piecing together parts of my sexual relationships and realising theres something not right, its like i have no feeling towards sex or anything like that, if I were to never have sex ever again I would honestly be fine with that. I dont want to self diagnose but all I can think is "am i asexual?" Im in a long term relationship and it does put abit of strain on it however I dont know if ive always been this way and have just pushed it aside because having sex is obviously the social norm or if this developed because of bad experiences with sex/relationships.. I just need to talk to someone to help me figure it out. I do see a therapist but for unrelated reasons but I will be mentioning this but I am embarrassed and somewhat ashamed of myself to the point I just want to sit there a cry my eyes out. Anything would be helpful...thank you x Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 the only person equipped to describe your (a)sexuality is you. an orientation is not somethingsome expert can diagnose. it's ... "How do you feel about grapes?" imagine a world where grapes were very important, where if you cared about someone then you would share a cluster of grapes with them. a world where grapes were so important that we developed a grape based language augmenting the languages we already use. "I mean there's sayin' hello, and then there's sayin' hello while holding a grape between your fingers, yeah?" but me, I don't like grapes. I wasn't traumatized by them, I don't think they're disgusting, I'm not saying I'm better than them, they just aren't my jam. sex is such a big deal in our world that unfortunately it can be unnessisarily stressful, and hard to talk about. but it's ok to look up from the very complicated rulebook on what isn't and is kosher in the language of sex and ask the people around you why something doesn't make any sense. (even though it clearly states that doing that is super against the rules on page 15) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SwitchOff Posted October 23, 2017 Author Share Posted October 23, 2017 Thats very true, its all i caj think of when I feel that something is wrong but theres nothing wrong with me im just on a different playing field. It is stressful and so unnecessary but thats life i guess i just am unsure as to whether i have always been this way or can asexuality develop over time? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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