A recent experience...

[Honestguy]

Okay, long story short, I would like to seek some feedback on where I fall within the spectrum.  I really never dated (or played the club scene) and have always been in long relationships--both gay and straight.  This includes a recently ended 10+ year straight marriage.  I am somewhat non-romantic (I don't miss important holidays/events, but mostly don't care), sexual performance has never been an issue (NOT low-T either--tested), I am rather narcissistic (with reason, lol), others have always been very attracted to me (often met with ambivalence or downright rejection), I like porn, in moderation (perhaps it's just the lack of emotional connection or physical contact), and I am a very good communicator with extensive social connections.  I am considered very entertaining, charming and possess many witty personal stories that garner tremendous laughter/appeciation.  I am bothered by unwanted personal overtures and contact that is unexpected.  I am also rather successful, tall, handsome and well-hung.

 

Recently, I went on an A******s Events cruise.  I have done this before (and--never while in a relationship, I am not a cheater--ever).  My purpose was to experience the fun and club scenes to which I never was able to while younger.  Total immersion.  I had many numerous conversations and shared many amusing anecdotes by day (I was building my social network).  And, soon, the parties started.  In trying to enjoy them, I simply chose not to acknowledge the many advances, aggressive flirtations and unwanted physical contact that was occurring.  I became worse as people began to mutter that I was "straight", "why was I there?" and became more, directly confrontational.  Advance after advance was ignored, by me, as I was getting more uncomfortable.

 

My reaction was to pull-back and try to re-gather my comfort.  I walked twenty miles per day (with headphones), drank a lot, and played basketball mostly alone.  But, I returned to the parties again to partake of the sights, sounds and dancing.  Things digressed as I was further flirted with, accused of being anti-social and bumped for not responding to the advances.  I remained outwardly friendly to the many I knew, but a wall to any others.  Eventually, pseudo-psychologist types tried to talk to me to see if I had "daddy-issues".   This would set-off an ESTP-a, right?--not physically.  So, I get a visit from the Sergeant-at-Arms who is tired of hearing people talk me, constantly, and about how uncomfortable I am making them feel.

 

This makes me shut-down entirely.  And, I made no physical contact with anyone for the rest of the trip.  I've always enjoyed A******s and this is no way a reflection on them, their staff or the experience.

 

I think it's me--and I still don't know what I am.

 

 

[Guest]

Quote

 

Okay, long story short, I would like to seek some feedback on where I fall within the spectrum.  I really never dated (or played the club scene) and have always been in long relationships--both gay and straight.  This includes a recently ended 10+ year straight marriage.  I am somewhat non-romantic (I don't miss important holidays/events, but mostly don't care), sexual performance has never been an issue (NOT low-T either--tested), I am rather narcissistic (with reason, lol), others have always been very attracted to me (often met with ambivalence or downright rejection), I like porn, in moderation (perhaps it's just the lack of emotional connection or physical contact), and I am a very good communicator with extensive social connections.  I am considered very entertaining, charming and possess many witty personal stories that garner tremendous laughter/appeciation.  I am bothered by unwanted personal overtures and contact that is unexpected.  I am also rather successful, tall, handsome and well-hung.

 

Recently, I went on an A******s Events cruise.  I have done this before (and--never while in a relationship, I am not a cheater--ever).  My purpose was to experience the fun and club scenes to which I never was able to while younger.  Total immersion.  I had many numerous conversations and shared many amusing anecdotes by day (I was building my social network).  And, soon, the parties started.  In trying to enjoy them, I simply chose not to acknowledge the many advances, aggressive flirtations and unwanted physical contact that was occurring.  I became worse as people began to mutter that I was "straight", "why was I there?" and became more, directly confrontational.  Advance after advance was ignored, by me, as I was getting more uncomfortable.

 

My reaction was to pull-back and try to re-gather my comfort.  I walked twenty miles per day (with headphones), drank a lot, and played basketball mostly alone.  But, I returned to the parties again to partake of the sights, sounds and dancing.  Things digressed as I was further flirted with, accused of being anti-social and bumped for not responding to the advances.  I remained outwardly friendly to the many I knew, but a wall to any others.  Eventually, pseudo-psychologist types tried to talk to me to see if I had "daddy-issues".   This would set-off an ESTP-a, right?--not physically.  So, I get a visit from the Sergeant-at-Arms who is tired of hearing people talk me, constantly, and about how uncomfortable I am making them feel.

 

This makes me shut-down entirely.  And, I made no physical contact with anyone for the rest of the trip.  I've always enjoyed A******s and this is no way a reflection on them, their staff or the experience.

 

I think it's me--and I still don't know what I am.

 

 

what is an A******s?

 

Are you asking about asexuality? Did you enjoy sex in your relationships, at least sometimes.. even if it wasn't like, mind-blowing? Not everyone finds it mind-blowing or has constant desire for it or whatever. And for your entire adult life (not just recently, but ever since puberty really) could you have been 100% happy, and even preferred to have, totally sexless 'romantic' relationships? Was sex more a chore for you that you only did because you knew your partner wanted it?

 

I'm not sure if you're trying to say you weren't comfortable with the idea of sex with random people? I mean, a lot of people can't stand that idea and it makes them very uncomfortable just thinking about it. Also, I'm quite antisocial (well, okay, totally antisocial) and that certainly does make people uncomfortable and generally causes them to talk behind your back etc, but meh, that's just humans for you.. one of the many reasons I avoid them like the plague