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gender/sex? pronouns?


kittyblomu

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I feel female but I also feel as if there's more to it, and that the term is rather restricting, if that makes sense? And same with the "she" pronouns I use... I don't really know how to explain it but it feels as if there's something missing. But I don't really feel masculine either, so...

 

I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say, sorry

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Nothin' to say sorry for. Hopefully the more you think about it the more you'll be able to put it into words. Anyway, going off of what you've posted so far, I have a few things to mention. They're mostly about how girls can be girls without being girly, and then there's some nonbinary stuff at the end. Keep in mind that no language has the perfect terminology for human identities, and focus on what makes you feel good and whole.

 

 

I am not going to tell you that you are a girl. I am not going to say that you aren't one either. But I will tell you that many women, girls, females, ladies, etc feel restricted by the names their gender has. For some the words just don't ring exactly right. For some it's because everyone acts like female = a clean list of things to do and ways to act. For others it's because many societies value girls and girly things as lesser than their their male counterparts. A lot of girls want people to recognize their worth and not assume that they are weak or incapable just for being girls, and that desire can lead to their distancing themselves from their site gender.

 


Another thing I want to say is that there is no wrong way to be female. If you want different things in life than are expected of you, if you have hobbies or interests that people don't find fitting, if you aren't like many or any of the women around you, that's ok. You can describe as many things that are unrelated to your gender as you need. You can be a forward, modern, [adjective or adverb] female. You can be a girl who doesn't have people call you girl/she/her all the time, if ever.

 

And to get out of the binary, don't get too freaked out if you find that by "something missing" you mean an entirely different gender and/or set of pronouns. Are you pangender, ie every gender you could possibly be? Bigender, as a girl and agender or a girl and nothing? An entirely different gender specific to you? What makes you feel best? What can you see yourself growing older as? You can choose a name for what you feel or just leave it in the air. Welcome to the party!

 

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The Gnat (Natalie)
42 minutes ago, kaysir said:

What can you see yourself growing older as?

I love this. I think that's a really key question we sometimes forget to ask ourselves...

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Gender is weird and theres no one who can tell you who you are but you. You don’t always need labels and sometimes umbrella terms like non-binary and genderqueer can be enough to describe yourself without really needing specifics (but that’s not to say you must like them). It’s fine to question your gender and it doesn’t matter how long it takes to figure it out - or never find an exact word, or realize you might have been cis all along. I recommend just looking through some identities and seeing if any really seem like you or give you a sense of comfort, that fits so nicely?

 

With pronouns it’s again all about what your comfortable with. Maybe try some out? What really feels right? 

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5 hours ago, kaysir said:

Nothin' to say sorry for.

 

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You can be a girl who doesn't have people call you girl/she/her all the time, if ever.

 
And to get out of the binary, don't get too freaked out if you find that by "something missing" you mean an entirely different gender and/or set of pronouns. Are you pangender, ie every gender you could possibly be? Bigender, as a girl and agender or a girl and nothing? An entirely different gender specific to you? What makes you feel best? What can you see yourself growing older as? You can choose a name for what you feel or just leave it in the air. Welcome to the party!

 

Thank you so much!

 

What other pronouns besides the she, he, and they are there? I've heard of more but I can't remember them. 

 

Also, what is the difference between agender and "nothing", as you said?? 

 

Thank you again for your comment <3 

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5 hours ago, Zenzencat104 said:

Multiple genders or mix? Demi (insert gender here) signifies that it’s partly (same gender) and partly non binary of some form.

Thank you !! :lol:

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3 hours ago, quietcrayon said:

Gender is weird and theres no one who can tell you who you are but you. You don’t always need labels and sometimes umbrella terms like non-binary and genderqueer can be enough to describe yourself without really needing specifics (but that’s not to say you must like them). It’s fine to question your gender and it doesn’t matter how long it takes to figure it out - or never find an exact word, or realize you might have been cis all along. I recommend just looking through some identities and seeing if any really seem like you or give you a sense of comfort, that fits so nicely?

 

With pronouns it’s again all about what your comfortable with. Maybe try some out? What really feels right? 

Thank you so much for your comment!

 

Yes, I've actually tried some pronouns out before. When alone, I've tried referring to myself in third person: "[my name] couldn't reach the counter because he was too short. He was disappointed", "[my name] didn't get cast into a play because she was too short. She was disappointed", and "[my name] could not go on that ride because they were not tall enough. They were disappointed". The ones that I really liked were she and they but I'm still hesitant to use these pronouns because I don't really know what they mean? Like what gender would it make me? Would it even change at all? Could I still be female, even though I might no longer use completely female pronouns? Am I figuring this all out too fast? Should I wait before using a pronoun or labeling myself at all?

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Using they/them pronouns doesn't change your gender - you are the only one who can decide what gender you are and there's no waiting period to changing your pronouns or to "labelling" yourself  so to say - just do whatever makes you feel comfortable and is people using they/them pronouns does that for you then Great!

 

Can I perhaps put forward that gender demi-girl - meaning either a fluctuating or stable position somewhere between female and agender - as a possibility?

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Also here are some non-binary pronoun examples:

 

Em/eir/eirself

Hir/hirs/hirself

Ne/nem/nemself

Ve/ver/verself

Xe/xir/xirself

Xe/Xem/Xyr

Zr/zirs/zirself

Zed/zhir/zhirself

Zan/zans/zanself

 

but if you were to search on google you'd find a lot more.

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I really feel with you in this matter.

54 minutes ago, I Am Mel said:

Can I perhaps put forward that gender demi-girl - meaning either a fluctuating or stable position somewhere between female and agender - as a possibility?

I'm still questioning myself, but I strongly lean toward demigirl. I've actually posted a thread asking about it a few weeks ago, so maybe that could help you.

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5 hours ago, I Am Mel said:

Using they/them pronouns doesn't change your gender - you are the only one who can decide what gender you are and there's no waiting period to changing your pronouns or to "labelling" yourself  so to say - just do whatever makes you feel comfortable and is people using they/them pronouns does that for you then Great!

 

Can I perhaps put forward that gender demi-girl - meaning either a fluctuating or stable position somewhere between female and agender - as a possibility?

Thank you so much! This helped me lot aaa!

 

I actually think "demi-girl" sounds much better to me than just "female"... And I might start using they pronouns.

 

It's okay to use a combination of pronouns, correct? For example, if I wanted to use she/they pronouns, it would be possible?

 

ps: thank you for listing a bunch of non-binary pronouns options!! :lol:

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4 hours ago, Tintenfeder said:

I really feel with you in this matter.

I'm still questioning myself, but I strongly lean toward demigirl. I've actually posted a thread asking about it a few weeks ago, so maybe that could help you.

I'll definitely check it out ! ^_^ I'm happy to hear that I'm not alone!

 

Thank you so much for leaving a comment! 

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5 minutes ago, kittyblomu said:

Thank you so much! This helped me lot aaa!

 

I actually think "demi-girl" sounds much better to me than just "female"... And I might start using they pronouns.

 

It's okay to use a combination of pronouns, correct? For example, if I wanted to use she/they pronouns, it would be possible?

 

ps: thank you for listing a bunch of non-binary pronouns options!! :lol:

Yes sure whatever makes you happy in yourself! 

 

Happy to help! :D 

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10 hours ago, kittyblomu said:

Thank you so much for your comment!

 

Yes, I've actually tried some pronouns out before. When alone, I've tried referring to myself in third person: "[my name] couldn't reach the counter because he was too short. He was disappointed", "[my name] didn't get cast into a play because she was too short. She was disappointed", and "[my name] could not go on that ride because they were not tall enough. They were disappointed". The ones that I really liked were she and they but I'm still hesitant to use these pronouns because I don't really know what they mean? Like what gender would it make me? Would it even change at all? Could I still be female, even though I might no longer use completely female pronouns? Am I figuring this all out too fast? Should I wait before using a pronoun or labeling myself at all?

Yes you can still identify as female and use other pronouns, pronouns aren’t entirely tied to genders (I say not entirely because people will say they are, but they’re really not). And you don’t have to wait, you’re not ‘figuring this all out to fast’, do you feel ready to tell someone that you also would like to be referred to as ‘they’? Then you’re not going to fast.

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9 minutes ago, quietcrayon said:

Yes you can still identify as female and use other pronouns, pronouns aren’t entirely tied to genders (I say not entirely because people will say they are, but they’re really not). And you don’t have to wait, you’re not ‘figuring this all out to fast’, do you feel ready to tell someone that you also would like to be referred to as ‘they’? Then you’re not going to fast.

Thank you again !! :D

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On ‎10‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 5:59 AM, kittyblomu said:

Thank you so much!

 

What other pronouns besides the she, he, and they are there? I've heard of more but I can't remember them. 

 

Also, what is the difference between agender and "nothing", as you said?? 

 

Thank you again for your comment <3 

Some examples of non-they pronouns are ze, xe, fae, ve, co, it, etc., but there are lots more.

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The_Reluctant_Dragon

I hope you figure out what you’re comfortable with. Experiment with it. Go by different names and identities. Tell your friends to use different pronouns to see if you can find a pronoun(s) you like.

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18 hours ago, The_Reluctant_Dragon said:

I hope you figure out what you’re comfortable with. Experiment with it. Go by different names and identities. Tell your friends to use different pronouns to see if you can find a pronoun(s) you like.

Thank you so much! I'm definitely going to try that out :) 

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