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[!!!NSFW!!!] [!!!TMI!!!] Looking for a label


6Unmentionable9

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6Unmentionable9

Apologies if this is in the wrong place, I'm new and couldn't immediately see a section that fit the topic. Double apologies that I tend to overshare, and this probably has a ton of useless information that'll just make you uncomfortable.

 

Before I continue, let me just say, I'd prefer to not ever have a reply along the lines of "Only you know for yourself!" or "Don't worry about labels, just do you!". Seriously, you're not helping, it just makes me mad the amount of times I've heard it. I've looked into the terms grey-a, greysexual, ace, demi, fray, autochoriss, and countless others, and none of them seem to fit quite right. My ideal is to have one, easy-sounding thing to describe my attraction, preferably that doesn't require a wordy explanation.

 

The way I describe my attraction is, to put it bluntly, "I can get off on it". Beyond that I have no sexual desires. I can only be "attracted" to something under very specific circumstances, and as soon as I'm finished I feel gross, awkward, and no longer interested in whatever it was I was just whacking it at.

 

To be "attracted" to something, the individual(s) need to be fully clothed (or at least have their genitalia and chests covered), as nudity and seeing flesh is a major turn-off. I can't FAP to people if they're nude, even if they're cartoons. There also has to be a male, whether male on male, male on female, or various other scenarios. If it's just females, can't do it (unless it's a solo female getting herself off). Usually as well, I get off better on oral other than penetration. Anime over real life, real life over CGI, etc etc whatever. Not sure where I'm going with this.

 

I don't find bodies to be actually attractive (other than what we were just using) unless there's already some form of arousal present. To become aroused, I need to be physically stimulated (which unfortunately for me, comes easy since I'm hypersensitive. even as i type this, smh). It's not every time however that I will find them attractive, sometimes I suppress the thoughts. I never get off on people I know or have heard of, even if they're fictional. To get off on them, it needs to be a one-time thing, a character with no name or backstory, just a body interacting with another body. Unsure if this is anything, but usually when I imagine people they tend to have both male and female genitalia?

 

I think only twice have I actually imagined myself in sexual situations, but the stuff that stayed was I was dom, they were femme, and it was... more than aggressive. Usually the other character I just made up didn't do much more than lay or stand there, unmoving, unspeaking, just a shell for me to fantasize about for that night.

 

The only thing I've found comfortable describing this is "Grayce", not greysexual, not grey-a, but grayce specifically. Not sure why, probably the same reason I call myself "genderless" instead of "agender", when they mean the same thing to me. I guess what I'm trying to get out of this here is validation, that this weird word that I'm very specific about fits this definition to a T, and that there's not something that will fit better. If you think of any other labels that might fit however, comment and explain.

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Hello 6Unmentionable9, welcome to the AVEN forums. Have some cake :cake: :-)

 

First of all, we can't...

11 minutes ago, 6Unmentionable9 said:

I'd prefer to not ever have a reply along the lines of "Only you know for yourself!"

Oops.

 

11 minutes ago, 6Unmentionable9 said:

My ideal is to have one, easy-sounding thing to describe my attraction

Bah, that's too easy. Boring. If you want answers, give us a challenge!

 

Alright then, since you specifically asked for it, and in violation of every Term of Service ever written for AVEN, I'm gonna tell you what you are. I'm bound to get my first warning for it, but you're worth such a minor nuisance...

 

You are a sex-repulsed ficto-fraysexual. Now prove me wrong, if you dare! :D

 

15 minutes ago, 6Unmentionable9 said:

My ideal is to have one, easy-sounding thing to describe my attraction, preferably that doesn't require a wordy explanation.

Done. Who wouldn't know what a ficto-fraysexual is, nowadays that this label is all over the news. And sex repulsion doesn't require a wordy explanation either. Just say "Meh".

 

Now seriously... go with "Grayce", if that's how you feel. If you think that you will ever be able to explain your feelings to anyone in simple terms that require no wordy explanation, you're living in a fantasy. If you want somebody's empathy, you'll have to take the time to explain your feelings. That's how people bond, that's how they share trust and build confidence. The process is as important as the information you want to convey. By taking the time to explain your feelings, you're showing the other that you trust them, and that you're sharing something that's important to you. And if it's not important enough for you to explain, then why bother at all?

 

Cheers and all the best! :cake:

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25 minutes ago, roland.o said:

Alright then, since you specifically asked for it, and in violation of every Term of Service ever written for AVEN, I'm gonna tell you what you are. I'm bound to get my first warning for it, but you're worth such a minor nuisance...

:redface: Dude. We've been told our whole lives to not do that and then you just break that rule? Lol

 

But yeah, it does sound as if you're some type of ace, probably fraysexual. But, as we always say, if grayce fits then it fits. 

 

Welcome!

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I don't know if I'd describe what you're experiencing as attraction at all to be honest.

I'd say you just have a bunch of fetishes you can get off to. Aces can have fetishes too you know.

If you don't desire having sex with anyone ever, I'd say you're ace. Identifying as gray is then about personal preference.

 

I'd also look into the word 'autochorissexual' if I were you. Wait, I can actually pull up the book where that word was first coined:

Spoiler

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(We're not allowed to tell people what to identify as according to AVEN's terms of service, that's why people keep saying 'Only you can know'. I'm making an exception for you though, and moderators will just have to deal with it.)

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To me it sounds like you can be a regular old asexual, that has several interacting fetishes. (Clothed, unknown etc). As long as there is no attraction, you are Ace. Fetishes are not attraction, but seem almost identical. I believe it's  a different thing from attraction and not part of your orientation. 

 

I myself am ace and aro. But I have many fetishes that stimulate me. 

 

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Nuuu! AVEN can't let us decide what you are. That's against the spellbook! That's against the-

Uh, just let me help without actually getting my first strike early..,

 

Alrighty, as the Terms and Service say, we cannot say what you are. That's why we often say that only you decide because we don't know you like you do. However, we can guide you. 

 

You do sound like a type of ace, and I agree with everyone that you could be among the grey-ace club. However, you're going to have to get wordy with the explanations, as if you tell people, they're gonna be like 'lol wuts that?' and then you're gonna explain what asexuality is, what grey-ace is, what type of orientation you are.  If you're expecting an easy sounding (and just by looking at the above posts, that's not an easy one as everyone will be probs 'lol wut?') orientation, then you're gonna get proved pretty wrong. You're going to have to explain what is it because half of the planet will have no idea. I still gotta explain what the 'gyneromantic' side of my orientation is! 

 

But hey, welcome to AVEN! Join the cakeirino club! :cake:

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