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Anyone else not had a girlfriend/boyfriend and not been on a date?


Divide By Zero

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The Gnat (Natalie)

Nope. I'm pretty sure I came close to getting asked on a date once, which would've been rad because he's the only guy I've ever had a real crush on, but it wasn't in the cards. Oh well. I'm fairly indifferent about the whole thing. I imagine I'll date someone someday, but if it never happened I wouldn't be upset about it.

 

Okay, a couple other guys have asked me out, but we'd only known each other for a few months at most, and my demiromantic brain immediately reacted with 'I think the fuck not.' So... no. No dating for me--at least not yet.

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I have never had a relationship or dated, but I would like to experience it at least once in my life. Plus, I'm a romantic that watches too many shoujos and chick flicks lol.

Either way, it's been a hot topic as of recently in my life, so now here I am trying dating at websites. Or maybe I just feel pressured by others to date?

We'll see how it goes hehe~

 

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Never in my life have I been in both a relationship or even asked out. If I were to be asked out by a guy in the distant future, I'd consider it more as the two of us hanging out over certain activities and not a 'date'. Bonding/socializing platonically and in a friendly manner without both the awkward romantic and sexual aspects and pressure is just a perfect situation for me.

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MadeIndescribable

I've had two girlfriends in the past, but they were both friends I'd known for a while before we got together. Never been on a date at all.

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Never had a s.o. and technically never been on a date (?). I went to prom with this dude that I had a squish/crush on once but I wished I was by myself cuz I was worried about him having fun the entire time. I'm generally not too bothered about being single though. 

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I haven't. But there's a girl that I'm pretty sure likes me and that I like(???????) so maybe that'll change soon. idk.

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I have never gone on dates or had a boyfriend or girlfriend. And I actually really hate to use these terms. They seem very suffocating and restrincting. Whenever, there is a possibility someone may like me in a more intimate why, I feel very repelled by them.

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I never had a boyfriend/girlfriend/similar either, nor have I ever been on a date. I'm still quite unsure about my romantic orientation, though I always thought I was romantic, but recently I started to think about the possibility of being aromantic. The only time I ever felt something along the lines of a crush was more like an obsession with my childhood friend which lasted for about four years and then slowly faded away.

I don't know whether I ever want to date someone, but I think trying it might be an interesting experience...

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Yeah, I'm 23 and I've never had a S.O or been on any dates. 

 

The thought of it usually never bothers me, but every now and again I'll get into a mood where I crave companionship.  

 

Which then leads to me looking into dating websites or just trying to make new friends online, and then getting scared off when anyone shows any type of romantic interest, or falling outta touch when I don't know how to keep a conversation going...

 

I get a little annoyed with myself when that happens.

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Meeee! 

I'm heteroromantic though, so it kind of sucks for me, because guys don't seem to be interested in me :/

But to be honest I'm not very surprised, I don't give that much thought in my appearance, I just want to be comfortable, but I really like to look cute too x3 I think I'm succeeding at that quite decently but, well, most of the girls in my high school are much prettier than me and they dress more attractive so they have boys' interest.

Though I'm not upset about it, if a guy won't like me for who I am then I don't want to be with that guy! 

Good for you to be aro! I wish you as much platonic love as possible! <3

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I have, but I wish I could go back and change history!  It was before I discovered AVEN and I figured 27 was a bit late to be leaving it, so a guy expressed his interest and I just went with it.  Worst 3 weeks of my life.  Possibly the worst 3 weeks of his life too  :huh:  I don't think we went on any proper dates, though - we went bowling once but his friend also came so I don't think that counts.

 

Other than that, I've kissed a few blokes but out of obligation rather than actually wanting to try it.  I eventually learnt never to accept a drink from anyone at a bar  :blink:

 

Mostly I pretend none of it ever happened...  *shudder*

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I've only ever been on a couple of dates in my life. I've gone from long friendship to relationship twice (current one is working well), but overall I never really went on dates with people. My first date wasn't until my mid 20s, and only after I had been in my first relationship (if that makes sense). I've only identified on the spectrum since very recently, but I feel like a lot of things now make sense in retrospect. 

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I've had a few dates but....that's it. I know a couple of girls liked me, but either I didn't love them as a potential relationship, or I am to insecure to make the first move. I have a huge fear of getting rejected for some reason (not just in relationships, also work and stuff....No idea why)

 

I would like to date since I have romantic needs, but in this world men are often expected to ask a girl out and not the other way around....still hoping for a girl that dares to take the initiative or at least sends such clear signlas that even oblivious me understands what to do :)

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I've never dated, kissed anyone or had sex and long may that continue! :D

 

Once I realised I'm asexual I stopped even thinking about dating. It actually took all the stress and pressure away because I felt like I had to force myself to work towards doing it before. It always seemed so weird and awkward so I feel happier moving forward. :)

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Never, and never. Went to a dinner with someone but defined it as a friend meal, even though my romantic classmate would define it as a "date." No, no thanks, sir. 

 

I was educated to believe romance is something essential like water and food. I was shamed by the media (harshly) and friend circles (not harshly) for being single for 24+ year and I believed I was missing out on something. I grew up in an Asian country until 16 and sex education was taboo, so I tried to make up for what I missed, both romance and sex, l wanted to be like some of my friends who became hyper-sexual in college, like a liberation. 

 

I reached out to this person I never met, chatted for half a year and finally met in person in Shanghai, I thought I wanted a relationship,  and I ended repeated the same mistakes earlier: being OCD about the idea of "I should like this person romantically and then sexually, right?" being super sensitive of other people's interest in that person, which felt unnatural and obsessive. From the moment we met I knew something didn't make sense.

 

Before we met at some point online that person said "I think you are my girlfriend." I tried using "boyfriend" and told a friend about this "boyfriend" but I was so grossed out, so so uncomfortable, I want to erase that memory even till today

 

After coming back to New York I still was tangled by these thoughts, I didn't understand why I wasn't happy for pursuing something I wanted. I knew I didn't even think he was cute, I was forcing myself to be "normal," waiting for romantic feelings to take place.  I am also in constant fear of this strange OCD, afraid I would "obsessively fall for some guy because of loneliness."

 

I thought the problem was loneliness. 

 

A year later, after watching Bojack Horseman.... being introduced to Asexuality by Todd, and eventually discovered the concept of Aromanticism, I finally, can understand myself. I stopped feeling sorry for having no romantic feelings. I began to understand the OCD is a forced behavior to fill up the blank space because I didn't know romance doesn't have to be essential, interests don't have to be romantic, and some of them are purely sexual. 

 

When I think back, I discovered I was only feeling sexual attraction and nothing else for some people. For some people a deep platonic connection, not sexual at all. For that person I met in Shanghai and had dinner with, none of those, the whole thing was a mistake, and I tried to get out out of the mess and put it behind me. 

 

If I had heard being aromantic is okay, I wouldn't even go so far and wasted so much time. Because of the OCD, some friends think I am emotionally unstable and even a erotomania. 

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  • 1 month later...

I've never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship. Part of it was dating and relationships seemed overrated during the teen years. Now it's mainly because I'm just focusing on living my life right now, studying to become an animator, and for God's sake I'm only 22 so of course not. I would like to find someone in the future, and there have been moments where I deeply long for such companionship. But I know that right now I'm neither ready nor wanting a relationship at the moment.

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I've never had a romantic partner ever, and I'm 25 (almost 26). 

 

Honestly? I'm just fine with that.

 

I agree (not to sound like a child, but...) kissing other people (and animals) is gross. The only thing close for kissing I have done that for in the past was on the cheek (older people (like grannies) when I was a little kid, and was being polite (even though I didn't want to kiss (felt odd to me)).), but I would be glad to never have to never kiss again.

 

 

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I've had two that lasted about a month, but there was no physical contact and one thing that was a relationship? Maybe? I have no idea. I like talking to people sometimes, but I like distance. I went on three dates and I have never been more uncomfortable in my life.

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I had a girlfriend during early school time but for me this doesn't count.

The problem I see is, that I'm lacking seriously important experiences with relationships. I still don't feel like wanting a relationship, but I going to force myself to initiate one soon. Otherwise I will be vulnerable to loneliness later in life. My current friends will mostly go their own ways (e. g. leaving the country) or start having families, which means, they will have less time for me.

 

This is a simple rational consideration. You too should really think about wether staying single suits you forever.

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Never been in a relationship. Not sure if Ive been on a date. The guy may have thought it was, but I didnt. 

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paperbackreader

Erm, sorry for n00b question here - but can I just back up one step for 2 ticks and ask what qualifies as a date? :-X

 

Never had a 'relationship'. Been propositioned for relationships a couple of times (mostly without realising it; until it was pointed out to me or right in my face) and sex without strings a couple others (cringe).  

 

I haven't ruled relationships out - but I'm not sure I'd rule it in either. One of my new year's resolution is to work out wtf I would like to do!!!!!! (I'm past the 30 mark)

I would like to have at least one kid - but I think I'd adopt. Too many people in the world! 

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All of the guys I'd liked romantically had reciprocated the feelings at some point, but it never escalated into a relationship, so I've never had a boyfriend nor have I ever been on a date. That's a-okay though, because I'm in no rush and am completely fine with tending to myself and my friendships first!

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On 10/21/2017 at 11:54 AM, Tuple said:

I've never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend) and, in fact, I've never been on a date. I don't think it's unusual or strange because I'm aromantic (and asexual). I'm curious to know if there are others out there who have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and/or never been on a date.

I have never dated, had, neither a boyfriend or girlfriend, I haven't had my first kiss yet, not even a crush (had one but it was someone famous so I don't count) and I'm almost 23 haha. I'm still uncertain about life, I may be demisexual/demiromantic, or cupioromantic, or ace/aro.

Since I haven't experience anything yet I have no idea what I may be. Until now I just know I'm not like the others.

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Divide By Zero
On 12/21/2017 at 2:48 PM, paperbackreader said:

Erm, sorry for n00b question here - but can I just back up one step for 2 ticks and ask what qualifies as a date? :-X

It's subjective. It all depends on what you would consider to be a date.

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Lucas Monteiro
On 21/10/2017 at 3:10 PM, [noize:injekktion] said:

I somehow have a feeling that it's something boring and cheesy, am I right? <_<:D

I went just one time to one date, and to be honest, it just sucks. Like @Deus Ex Infinity said, you just talk about random flirting things, and you just continue feeling this pressure of trying to say good things to the other person, and making them feel romantic interest in you too. I prefer to meet someone online, getting close and them trying to go to irl, but not as an date to know the other, just chilling. In fact, it's exactly what I did :D 

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Lucas Monteiro
On 21/10/2017 at 4:10 PM, Myeungo said:

I've had both boyfriends and girlfriends but have never been on a date, and I really don't feel dates are necessary. But that's just my opinion.  

I don't consider necessary too, I guess it's much better to meet someone as an friend, and then letting it evolve naturally the things. When you just feel that you want something more than friendship, you can talk to the person, and see if they feel the same. If they do, you won't exactly need to date because you already know each other.

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J. van Deijck
3 hours ago, Lucas Monteiro said:

I went just one time to one date, and to be honest, it just sucks. Like @Deus Ex Infinity said, you just talk about random flirting things, and you just continue feeling this pressure of trying to say good things to the other person, and making them feel romantic interest in you too. I prefer to meet someone online, getting close and them trying to go to irl, but not as an date to know the other, just chilling. In fact, it's exactly what I did :D 

:D so that's indeed weird xD online seems even easier a bit :o

there were some situations when I was talking with someone and someone else said it was flirting, and I was like wtf o.O

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I've never dated, had a parnter or even tried to.

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
8 hours ago, Lucas Monteiro said:

I went just one time to one date, and to be honest, it just sucks. Like @Deus Ex Infinity said, you just talk about random flirting things, and you just continue feeling this pressure of trying to say good things to the other person, and making them feel romantic interest in you too. I prefer to meet someone online, getting close and them trying to go to irl, but not as an date to know the other, just chilling. In fact, it's exactly what I did :D 

It's just so good to know that I'm not the only one here who feels this way :D Thanks for lifting my mood.

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
On 24.10.2017 at 9:11 AM, Maks9090 said:

... You may stand. (Lol)

 

*puts on the most dramatic/"flustered" voice possible* O-Oh my!!! Dexi! I-I... don't know what to say! *pokerface starts fading* But we can't! N-Not right now! >.< *falls over laughing* :lol:

Aww damn you! Do you know how long I had to train for this splendid public performance? And now look at that...all this time and energy...dumbed and wasted * ROFL* You're such a meanie! And yet, I still love you :D *big hug*

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