Am I Somewhere on the Asexual Spectrum?

[Seclusion]

Hi, I'm just beginning to question my sexual/romantic orientation so here goes my unstructured regurgitation of my thoughts...

So, I'm 17, almost 18, but I've never experienced sexual attraction to anyone so far. I've had some short-lived, mild crushes that I think were mostly aesthetic/a bit sensual in nature, but I've never really acted on them because 1) I have anxiety, and 2) I don't think I would have really gone ahead and actually dated any of my crushes anyway, even sans anxiety. On a sort of side note, I didn't have any crushes in all four years of high school.

When people or my friends talk about guys being 'hot' or whatever they want to call them (cute, yummy, WHATEVER), I typically don't understand why they think that and I feel left out. The most I can say is that their face is attractive (but truthfully the times I actually do think someone is really aesthetically attractive is rare and usually I find people more attractive if I know their personalities and stuff). Bodies I think I can appreciate (mostly because I'm an artist) but other than that there's really no desire kindled when I see them. I think they might even be slightly gross and I'm not sure I'd want to really touch them (then again, maybe if someone had a great body and I liked them already maybe I wouldn't mind as much? I still don't know if the sexual attraction would be there though). Watching sexual acts can get me aroused but it's never really been because of the people participating. I fantasize about sexual stuff but it"s really only arousing if I imagine myself to be someone who's completely made up having sex with someone else who's completely made up.

Also, I'm thinking maybe it might just be that I don't experience primary sexual attraction but maybe secondary sexual attraction could be a thing for me? Not sure because it's never happened. I'd appreciate any help...thanks <3

[TheAP]

Yes, it sounds like you could be asexual. Good luck figuring things out.  

[MuddyMonkey]

3 hours ago, Seclusion said:

I fantasize about sexual stuff but it"s really only arousing if I imagine myself to be someone who's completely made up having sex with someone else who's completely made up.

Also, I'm thinking maybe it might just be that I don't experience primary sexual attraction but maybe secondary sexual attraction could be a thing for me? Not sure because it's never happened. I'd appreciate any help...thanks <3

That description strongly suggests to me that you are what's known as 'Demisexual'. This means that while you aren't sexually attracted to people in what might be considered the societally-accepted sense, the idea of Sex isn't completely off the cards, if it's with a partner you've got to know well, and with whom you're completely comfortable about where they stand on sex (you only feel sexual attraction to someone you've known for a while, and could never consider having sex with someone you've just met, even if you find them attractive). That's how it is for me at least; hope that helps  

[Seclusion]

8 hours ago, MuddyMonkey said:

That description strongly suggests to me that you are what's known as 'Demisexual'. This means that while you aren't sexually attracted to people in what might be considered the societally-accepted sense, the idea of Sex isn't completely off the cards, if it's with a partner you've got to know well, and with whom you're completely comfortable about where they stand on sex (you only feel sexual attraction to someone you've known for a while, and could never consider having sex with someone you've just met, even if you find them attractive). That's how it is for me at least; hope that helps  

Hmm, that does sound like it could be me! Thanks for the help, I appreciate it! I think I'll do some more research on that....