K.I.N.G Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Thank you for your replies and support - they really mean a lot. I just posted this on impulse but i'm fine now. I feel like AVEN is the only place i'm seen as how i actually feel while everyone else sees this body that i'm hiding behind. Thanks again everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
WeirdOne Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I'm so sorry you feel this way...... I don't have experience with panic attacks but it sure sounds like one. Life is hard, and messy, and sometimes your bed is the best place to be, but it all shouldn't be this hard for you..... Have you tried breathing techniques? Focus on your breathing and counting, when you feel like you're getting disconnected? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I hope you'll get better soon! *hugs* All my best! Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 59 minutes ago, I Am Mel said: ...Would someone please explains what it's like to have a panic attack cause this is the second time today that I've seriously panicked, can't get a handle on my breathing and have wanted to double up/wrap my arm around myself but have been unable to because any part of myself i touch with my hands reminds me I have the body of a female and that's how everyone sees me...Afterwards though I feel completely drained and generally have a headache and still feel panicky/restless/really depressed throughout the day - like I can feel it sort of coming on again.. But still that i can stop it if i just tried to. I've just had enough of constantly feeling sick and tired the whole... That sounds like what I went through, when I had a few panic attacks, growing up: when I'd think about how I'd have to try to talk on the phone for a job interview, or when I'd read a graphic description of a medical procedure, I'd suddenly feel sick; light-headed, as though my body couldn't stand, anymore, and needed to lie down; and as though I couldn't breathe properly because my chest felt constricted (trying to breathe normally and deeply would hurt). Every time, I feared I was having a heart attack. I'd try to tell myself to calm down and relax, but it still would take my body at least ten or fifteen minutes to return to normal. I guess my panic attacks were due to anxiety; aging has helped me relax more and not feel so afraid or panicked, so I guess that's why I haven't had any panic attacks in years. Have you tried reading this for help? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_attack Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I've had panic attacks before. not gender related, but my mind starts to speed up, i feel like i'm going insane or having a heart attack, and i feel awful and weird internally. They really suck and they're painful I hope you feel better soon *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 1 hour ago, I Am Mel said: Afterwards though I feel completely drained and generally have a headache and still feel panicky/restless/really depressed throughout the day - like I can feel it sort of coming on again.. But still that i can stop it if i just tried to. I've just had enough of constantly feeling sick and tired the whole time and really don't have anyone to talk to about this at all and don't want to disturb/worry my friend or be a person that just constantly talks about their gender.... just shit i don't even know what I'm asking for but if anyone has anything at all id be grateful. Maybe I have the advantage of surving physical things that have killed most people. And maybe I just refuse to give up and walk resignedly into that long night, having an inner spark that refuses to give up either life or my quest to find a way to live with my transness that doesn't involve surrender to it. It's sort of like the legend of Prometheus . Who was cursed by the gods to wake up every day and roll that stone up the hill and have the eagles eat his innards. But rejoice. For as Kafka tells us, there are alternate scenarios of Promethesus' torment that I've tried to embrace..... Quote According to the first, he was clamped to a rock in the Caucasus for betraying the secrets of the gods to men, and the gods sent eagles to feed on his liver, which was perpetually renewed. According to the second, Prometheus, goaded by the pain of the tearing beaks, pressed himself deeper and deeper into the rock until he became one with it. According to the third, his treachery was forgotten in the course of thousands of years, forgotten by the gods, the eagles, forgotten by himself. According to the fourth, everyone grew weary of the meaningless affair. The gods grew weary, the eagles grew weary, the wound closed wearily. There remains the inexplicable mass of rock. The legend tried to explain the inexplicable. As it came out of a substratum of truth it had in turn to end in the inexplicable. I figure if I have to live androgynously in Gender NeverNeverLand Forevermore, maybe.... just maybe, I can find a way to use my achievements as a human being to weary out my dysphoria, and at long last rise triumphant from the battle. Who knows..... Link to post Share on other sites
Albine Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 I felt much the same way when I had my first panic attack. I was at my sister's house she was having a pool party. This was going to be my first time out in a pool since having my breast implant surgery. I was so excited I bought a swim top and was looking forward to wearing it out. I got there. Was talking with some women there took off my shirt sat by the pool talking about my surgery and it hit Mr. I couldn't breathe and started shaking. I ran in my sister's house into the bedroom she found me on the floor curled up I don't know what happened. It really shook me up Link to post Share on other sites
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