What should I do now?

[Chibe90]

Now that I found out about my asexuality how should I go about dating? I broke up with the last two persons I was dating because I realised they were falling for me and I had no feelings for them at all. I know it may sound that I am also aromantic but I think I am capable of romantic attraction. I gave up on dating after my last failed relationship because I thought it was unfair to only have one person with romantic and sexual attraction in a relationship.

 

Sex has always been a source of frustration in my relationship because I didn't know my lack of interest was normal. Although I will most likely continue to not have any desire for sex, I am more than willing to have it as part of my relationship if I am dating someone who requires it. 

 

Now that I know there isn't anything wrong with me I would like to revisit dating. What should I do?  How do I go about finding meaningful relationships?

 

 

[Star Bit]

22 hours ago, Chibe90 said:

 I gave up on dating after my last failed relationship because I thought it was unfair to only have one person with romantic and sexual attraction in a relationship.

I used to think the same way before I knew about Asexuality, Aromanticism, and mixed relationships. Now I'm pretty certain I'd be ok with lacking either as long as my partner knew. What made me feel so uncomfortable was basically living a lie, especially one on such personal grounds as a relationship and it being something my partner didn't sign up for. But if they know and still wanna be in a relationship then it's their decision, and it can work.

 

As for addressing it in relationships, the rule around here is to reveal it on the first date if you know them prior, and the 3rd date if you don't know them prior. Don't assume they know what anything means; spell it out explicitly even if they say they know what it is because some people lie or have misinformation. Say "I'm asexual, I don't desire sex with anyone ever, and I am/am not willing to sexually compromise". The 'ever' part is important because alot of people assume it's gunna change.