Tara_ Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Hello! I'm brand new here, just a few minutes old I'm really confused about my sexuality, and some medications I'm on which basically obliterate my sex drive are not helping. I think I am attracted to women, but I have no interest in sex and don't enjoy it. I live in rural Ireland and don't have any local resources at my disposal, as most people I talk to have never heard of asexuality here. I easily feel out of my depth or bored about sexual things. Any input or empathy is greatly appreciated!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Hi! I found Irish Aces On Facebook , and Ireland Asexuals Group for you. Even if you aren't able to meet up with them, I thought you might like to know that you're not alone, in Ireland. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tara_ Posted October 19, 2017 Author Share Posted October 19, 2017 Just now, InquisitivePhilosopher said: Hi! I found Irish Aces On Facebook , and Ireland Asexuals Group for you. Even if you aren't able to meet up with them, I thought you might like to know that you're not alone, in Ireland. Hi & thanks! I'm actually not on Facebook and haven't been for the last few months and their main content seems to be in a secret group that I can't join The second suggestion looks interesting, I may join! Thanks again x Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not on Facebook, either, and was able to see their posts, even older ones like this: Quote August 27, 2016 To any aces in Cork I'm setting up an ace meet up and was wondering what day and times suite most people☺ Please comment below if you're interested ☺♠♥♣ So, maybe they sometimes post the cities where they want to meet up without other aces having to sign up to join in. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 2 hours ago, Tara_ said: Hello! I'm brand new here, just a few minutes old Hi Tara. I love your introduction. I recommend floating around and looking into any of the discussion that you find interesting or applicable to your situation. You can learn a lot that way, or at least I did. You could try looking into some meetup sites (I don't know if they have anything like that for Ireland). However, I did this and the other aces in my are are still much farther away than I'm willing to commute to, so I know the frustration of not finding anyone near you. It sucks but it is what it is. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CosineTheCat Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 2 hours ago, Tara_ said: Hello! I'm brand new here, just a few minutes old I'm really confused about my sexuality, and some medications I'm on which basically obliterate my sex drive are not helping. I think I am attracted to women, but I have no interest in sex and don't enjoy it. I live in rural Ireland and don't have any local resources at my disposal, as most people I talk to have never heard of asexuality here. I easily feel out of my depth or bored about sexual things. Any input or empathy is greatly appreciated!! Hey Tara_, The best thing to remember is that asexuality has nothing to do with sex itself but rather sexual attraction. Another way to think about it is whether or not you feel like you have an innate desire for sexual relations with a person. A lot of times people on medication will feel upset at their lack of sexual desire or drive for sex if they're a sexual person with a diminished sex drive. It's up to you to decide if you're asexual or not but you can be asexual with romantic attraction towards females. I hope that this helps in some way. Oh, another thing that is important to remember is that if something changes with your medication and you don't feel the same, don't feel like you've lost who you are. Sexuality changes throughout a person's life and medication can make things very tricky when it comes to asexuality. Enjoy what you have now though, this is a very welcoming and accepting community even if you decide you're not asexual. Have fun browsing everything. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whatbethings Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 3 hours ago, Tara_ said: Hello! I'm brand new here, just a few minutes old I'm really confused about my sexuality, and some medications I'm on which basically obliterate my sex drive are not helping. I think I am attracted to women, but I have no interest in sex and don't enjoy it. I live in rural Ireland and don't have any local resources at my disposal, as most people I talk to have never heard of asexuality here. I easily feel out of my depth or bored about sexual things. Any input or empathy is greatly appreciated!! Hi there! I think I have the exact same problem as you—my medication makes it really hard to tell. What I’ve done is think about how I felt before I started them and how I felt after. I found that even though I find some people physically attractive, there was never any desire to have sex with them. If you can’t remember how you felt before, then I’d just go with how you feel now. As others have said, you are the only one who can really decide what you are. Good luck, and I really hope this helps! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tara_ Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 Wow guys, thanks for the feedback, it's more than I had hoped for! Well I was always considered the prudish one at school, and now some family members are pushing me to go out, have relationships etc but I just don't want to. I think regardless of whether it's my meds or not I just don't want a sexual relationship at the moment. If it is my meds I will be on them for up to 5 years more so I may as well make peace with that! Is it wrong to label myself as asexual-for-now because I really don't know what the future will bring 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laurally Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Absolutely not wrong to apply any label for a period of time! People can change (deeply or superficially) for all sorts of reasons. If you woke up today and called yourself asexual, and wake up tomorrow and call yourself something else, neither invalidates the other. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Possibly, only possibly without concrete studies some meds for example, often psycho-active medications may alter the mind strong enough to change a person to such a personal level, not contributible against an active chronic mental illness. Can only go with a psychiatrist opinion, can only give me a 'time will tell' answer, I've been on a full max dose of a mood stabilizer and experienced various changes with sexuality, behaviour and gender questioning. If such fluidity within asexuality and gender is either just me and who I am, part of my hypomanic-depression/anxiety, my Tourettes-Autistic neurology or long term psycho-active medication remains to be seen. There hasn't been any studies or cannot be, having a wider unique Psycho-Neuro-Biology to get such a large number of test subjects for medicinal research. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Yep heaps of different meds cause total disinterest in sex and sexual relationships, and especially when given to younger people can permenantly alter that part of the brain. The permenant alteration can happen in adults too but it's more common in younger people whose brains are still developing. It's not 'technically' asexuality, in that asexuality isn't a medical condition caused by medication (just like homosexuality isn't caused by medication) but if you're long term functionally asexual as a result of the meds then it doesn't necessarily make a difference outwardly at least. Just know that you could potentially change again once you stop the meds so be open to that idea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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