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"Me too" sexual harassment posts


lilgroundhog

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This may fit better under the gender discussion board.  There has been the "me too" posts going around on facebook about sexual harassment and sexual assault.  I did finally put up a post indicating my mixed feelings on it.  I'm sure the fact I'm ace and not a stereotypical woman (thinking I maybe on the agender spectrum) is skewing my thoughts on the topic.  Please note, I am not attempting to downplay the real pain and damage that is being done.

 

What are your thoughts on the topic?

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everywhere and nowhere

But are only women harassed? And if the attacker doesn't know the gender identity of someone who is harassed and simply "reads" them as a woman, does it mean it can't be considered a case of sexual harassment of women? It's similar as with homophobia: if a man is insulted because the attacker thinks that he's gay, even though he isn't, does it mean that the attack was not motivated by homophobia?

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I have mixed feelings. While it's good to acknowledge how many women experience this horrible thing, I think men should be able included and it shouldn't be so sensationalized. I fear people aren't taking it seriously. I like that some people are in agreement with that and instead of just saying "Me too," are adding their intricate thoughts on the topic.

 

I don't personally feel comfortable thinking of myself as a victim. I don't remember it. I can't even positively say it definitely happened. It feels like a very personal thing to share and I don't feel like it's something appropriate to spring on my IRL friends after all these years. So I won't do it on Facebook but I will say Me too here. 

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I've seen the post, and there is nothing about gender from what I've seen, and there shouldn't be imo, anyone who as experienced that injustice should be able to make their voice known.

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WinterWanderer
3 minutes ago, Brennarr said:

I've seen the post, and there is nothing about gender from what I've seen, and there shouldn't be imo, anyone who as experienced that injustice should be able to make their voice known.

^ Agreed.

 

Personally, I'm not into sharing something so personal on social media. But I think it's creating some good conversation. Admittedly, social media isn't the best platform for deep discussions or for creating solutions to complex problems.

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I totally agree gender/sex/sexual identity/etc should play a role in it.  The comments here are bringing out some of my inherent biases, even though I can't stand as being treated differently because I am seen as a woman.

 

I think it is stereo typically seen as a men harassing women though in so many cases. I wish people other than women would speak up about the issue to help us get a real scope of the problem.

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celestialwhims

Firstly, I've never experienced harassment or assault in any sense, so it really isn't my place to give too much of an opinion. I just wish for peace and well-being for everybody, it's not fair to anybody to have gone through something like this, so I hope that they are able to heal and use their experiences to help others. I hope that this leads to discussion about more than just women. Anybody can be a victim, it doesn't matter who you are, what gender you are, what you look like, how old you are, or where you are in your career. It's sad that it's taken so long for things like this to finally be brought to light, and even still this hashtag barely scratches the surface of the horrors of Hollywood. I hope that in the future, possibly even in my lifetime, harassment and assault being swept under the rug like this will only be a terrible memory for everybody.

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It got an interesting conversation going at the very least, and shed a light on a serious topic. I actually learned that my mom has been sexually harassed several times throughout her life because of this trending, and my sister has been though some fucked up stuff herself. Honestly, I think it's really important.

Unfortunately, we're nowhere near acknowledging the victimization of men considering this issue on a societal level. Sometimes you can even see of some seriously fucked up stories, like a woman in power, such as a teacher, taking advantage of her fifteen year old students and people will be in the comments saying stupid shit like "High five to that kid, I only wish it were me!" It's just one of those things, and it's sad.

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It's got nothing to do with gender.  Most sexual harassment is being done by men against women, but men are harassed also.  I've seen men tweeting #metoo and no one has criticized them for doing so.  Some Hollywood people have responded that gay men are being harassed by people in power in Hollywood also, and straight men have been harassed by female executives.  It's not being sensationalized; what's happening is that it's being talked about where for many decades no one has dared talk about it.  

 

I've been sexually harassed in my lifetime.  I've used social media to say #metoo and no one has a right to tell me that I shouldn't do  so.   It's the first time I've felt free to say it.

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yeah the copy paste I saw going around doesn't talk about gender. anyway I don't find anything wrong with it.  I've been sexually harassed and assaulted before but I didn't make any post because I don't really do my own social media and I feel like it would have upset my relatives

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I've seen men participating in the hashtag, and I'm glad they are. There are a lot of factors that stop men from talking about their experiences as victims of sexual harassment and assault. While many people don't feel safe speaking of things comfortably, the types of friendships and behaviour that are acceptable for women give them more chances at establishing the trust to become confidantes in this type of situation. The types of friendships and behaviour that are acceptable for men makes this more difficult to talk about, and that is really detrimental to their well-being. I hope that people of all genders feel safer bringing up these types of experiences. While they may not be distributed equally among genders, that does not make the individual stories of men any less valid.

 

This goes no matter what gender the harasser is either. Sadly there is evidence of an environment that may laugh off any allegations a man or masculine-presenting person makes about being sexually harassed by a woman or feminine-presenting person. That is not healthy for anyone.

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It's important that this issue is brought to light by those that are willing enough. Many men and women have been harassed in this way, and it's an issue that until relatively recently has been encouraged as one to ignore, "get over", and never speak of. A lot of people that don't take this sort of thing seriously lack the perspective that it's statistically likely that their friends and relatives have experienced it, perhaps many times over, and "Me too" is an effort to try and give that perspective. 

 

Really, whether we're personally willing to detail sexual harassment online is irrelevant - I still think it's good to support the people that are doing it. 

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I don't see why men who'd experienced sexual assault couldn't post "me too" as well, would people assume they were being sarcastic? Might be an opportunity for some of them to speak up, given the supportive (if not somewhat frenzy-like) atmosphere, even if it isn't ideal.

 

If the idea is to make the extent of the problem clear, with people being involved instead impersonal statistics, then anyone who can/wants to should participate. I think it's interesting that people aren't afraid to put a face to the victims now, it just might help more people acknowledge the problem. Even if it is through hashtags.

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It's for men, too.
I posted it yesterday.
I like the idea, and I think it shows the magnitude of the problem.

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Salted Karamel

I'm not on Facebook so I missed this meme. But it seems similar to the #YesAllWomen movement from a few years ago.

 

I have no problem talking all the live long day about my experiences with sexual harassment. My experiences with sexual assault less so. Especially through such a public and ephemeral medium like Facebook, where the outreach is maximal and the lasting impact is minimal. I'm crazy enough and get brushed off enough as it is without people trying to invalidate me further with "oh, it's because that happened to her."

 

I appreciate what other victims/survivors/what-have-you are doing, I really do. It's important for people to know how widespread the problem is. But this is one instance where I am going to take the coward's way out and value self-preservation over what I can do for the world, and I think that's my prerogative; Victimhood should not obligate one to sacrificing themselves further for the sake of world-saving.

 

So I'll just support the movement in a general sense, repeat the 1-in-4 statistic, and leave it for other people to guess whether I'm the 1 or the 3.

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I have mixed feelings on the topic. I don't think the problem was not knowing how bad it was. We all know how common it is for people to get sexually harassed and/or assaulted. Knowing it was a problem wasn't really the problem. All these people "outing" themselves isn't really something we didn't know. Knowing the magnitude isn't really the problem.


What was should be doing, is having people who've done the sexual harassing/assaulting outing themselves. Maybe they should have to be the ones who say #Ivedoneit. Why can't we start focusing on the people who've committed the crimes?

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1 minute ago, FlaafyTaffy said:

What was should be doing, is having people who've done the sexual harassing/assaulting outing themselves. Maybe they should have to be the ones who say #Ivedoneit. Why can't we start focusing on the people who've committed the crimes?

I do know someone who did that and I think it would be great if people follow in his footsteps. Fortunately, he is relatively in the Hollywood crowd so perhaps they will. I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to do this but if they could simply acknowledge it within themselves and change their patterns, it can make a difference. 

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1 hour ago, FlaafyTaffy said:

I have mixed feelings on the topic. I don't think the problem was not knowing how bad it was. We all know how common it is for people to get sexually harassed and/or assaulted. Knowing it was a problem wasn't really the problem. All these people "outing" themselves isn't really something we didn't know. Knowing the magnitude isn't really the problem.

 

I don't think "we all" know how common it is.  When women who've been silent all their lives are now speaking up, there's no way that we could have known how common it is.   I myself have learned just over the last few days that at least 10 women I know have experienced sexual harassment/downright assault; they never talked about it before.

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And if anyone wishes to join the community of people saying how common it is, you don't need to talk about your personal situation in detail -- just tweet/post #metoo.

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7 hours ago, FlaafyTaffy said:

I have mixed feelings on the topic. I don't think the problem was not knowing how bad it was. We all know how common it is for people to get sexually harassed and/or assaulted. Knowing it was a problem wasn't really the problem. All these people "outing" themselves isn't really something we didn't know. Knowing the magnitude isn't really the problem.


What was should be doing, is having people who've done the sexual harassing/assaulting outing themselves. Maybe they should have to be the ones who say #Ivedoneit. Why can't we start focusing on the people who've committed the crimes?

That hashtag exists already. I heard about this morning on the news. It has been recived kind of mixed. That men takes place from women and that men should just be quite and listen.

Here the "Me too" hash tag is only for women, men that have used has been talked to shout up. It is a place for women to speak up. It is about mens violence against women. 

 

But the thing with this is that it gives more light to the issue so we can look away anymore. That we finally starts to do something about it. And just because you havent done anything dosent mean that you are not a part of the problem. If you laugh at a sexist joke or dosent say anything agaist it that just helps the problem. 

It is great that we are talking about it. So if this keeps going the people in power will have put up better laws that actually makes it a crime or just so we start to belive the victims.

 

 

I know that this may sound like mansplaining i am amab after all. 

But this what i have heard from people(women) on tv/radio and so on.

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6 hours ago, Kimmie. said:

I know that this may sound like mansplaining i am amab after all.

Definitely not mansplaining!

 

Here is the guy I mentioned who did admit to being part of the problem and also on the receiving end at some point. I think that’s pretty brave to announce on Facebook. Kudos, Nick. 

 

(Disclaimer: He’s an actor and pretty open with his fans so I didn’t obscure his name. I figure the whole point of his post is to spread the message.) 

K0yK97d.jpg

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I saw a lot of "ME TOO" posts including one from my own sister (she reminded me of a work incident from 20+ years ago that her HR department ultimately blamed on her).  To be honest, I felt quite smug in myself knowing I have never sexually harassed anyone as quite frankly for the reason I am on this site.  And if I were the object of sexual harassment at some point in the past I was totally clueless to the fact.

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swirl_of_blue
On 10/18/2017 at 6:53 AM, FlaafyTaffy said:

We all know how common it is for people to get sexually harassed and/or assaulted.

It really isn't visible to everyone: before this campaign I didn't know that anyone I personally known had been harassed or assaulted, and I've never seen it happen anywhere. So I've really thought it's something that happens very, very rarely. Now I've seen several of my friends post the hashtag on facebook, including one male. Actually it seems so common that I'm almost insulted (!) that it has never happened me (am I really THAT disgusting?), and this has for a past couple of days made me feel very depressed and unwanted.

 

I've also seen two versions of the short statement that people post with the tag, one saying "women" and one saying "people". The gender-neutral version seems to be at least as common as the one only including women as victims.

 

 

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41 minutes ago, Techie said:

To be honest, I felt quite smug in myself knowing I have never sexually harassed anyone as quite frankly for the reason I am on this site.

I don't think basic human decency is something to be smug about. Congratulations, you are not scum? Put the bar a little higher.

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I have mixed feelings as well because while I think it is a good thing, I encouraged my male mates to share their story in that tag because women are not the only ones. Terry Crews and another guy spoke about their sexual harassment as well in light of the Weinstein case saying he felt no one would take him seriously because of how he strong he looks, and that is something male victims have to deal with.Why be angry for one and silence and demonize the other then dare say you're for equality. 😂 

 

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I have heard of a few men that have used it here. And they have been meet with anger. That this for women ONLY. 

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Squirrel Combat
On 10/17/2017 at 6:21 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

But are only women harassed? And if the attacker doesn't know the gender identity of someone who is harassed and simply "reads" them as a woman, does it mean it can't be considered a case of sexual harassment of women? It's similar as with homophobia: if a man is insulted because the attacker thinks that he's gay, even though he isn't, does it mean that the attack was not motivated by homophobia?

I have a gay buddy who posted the #metoo on Facebook, and I commented on it before I even fully understood, haha!

 

So yeah, guys are posting it too.

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The Drafting Ninja
1 hour ago, Kimmie. said:

I have heard of a few men that have used it here. And they have been meet with anger. That this for women ONLY. 

Men have the right to speak up too.  This double standard just makes us hypocrites.

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10 minutes ago, The Drafting Ninja said:

Men have the right to speak up too.  This double standard just makes us hypocrites.

Yes I agree with that. But apparently that hashtagg was created 10years ago just to bring more light on men's sexuall violence against women. 

 

I think personally that men should be able to post it. 

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