Tbear Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi, i'm 14 and I find the idea of sex repulsive, but I still would love to have a boyfriend, kiss them but when I'm older I would rather adopt a child then have sex. I haven't had my first kiss yet or even date for that matter. Am I asexual? Is it to early for me to be sure or??? Thank you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
theperksofbeing Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 first, welcome to AVEN! second, it sounds like you definitely could be asexual - i can't tell you if you are, especially without more details, but basically if you don't experience sexual attraction (in plainer terms, if you don't really get that "oh he's hot" sort of feeling), you're probably ace. the fact that you still want a boyfriend doesn't change anything, since that falls in the ROMANTIC ATTRACTION category of things. and i actually figured out that i'm ace at 14 so i'd say no, it's definitely not too young. hope this helps and welcome again! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stray_Cat Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hello there! First of all, Welcome to Aven and thanks for joining the family! As for your question, an Asexual person is someone who doesn't experience sexual atraction. Of course there is the ace spectrum that includes Graysexuals (those who rarely ever experience sexual atraction) and the Demisexuals (those who experience sexual atraction when a strong bond is formed between someone) but from what you wrote you could defenetly be ace. If you want to confirm that you don't experience sexual attraction, just look at someone who most of people adress as "hot" and ask yourself: "Would I go to bed with this person?" If the answer is No then that means you fall in the ace spectrum! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi @Tbear and welcome. As much as you probably hate hearing this, 14 is a young age to know anything for certain. A lot of people go through periods of uncertainty in their teenaged years (and beyond, tbh), so what you feel now might change. However, what you feel now is still valid. There's nothing wrong with not wanting sex now or in the future, even if you want to have a romantic relationship. If this changes in the future, that's also fine - many people have lived through something similar where more experience helped them get to know themselves better. In either case you won't be the only one. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stheg Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 As was mentioned above, you could just have a late onset of sexual attraction, but you definitely could be ace. Romantic attraction is different than sexual attraction so wanting a boyfriend is different than wanting to have sex. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tbear Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 Thank you very much but I still don't understand 100% am I allowed to have a crush. I'm really sorry, I got a bit confused from all of the answers. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh Ace Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Welcome to AVEN You are allowed to have a crush or do whatever you like. No-one should tell ylou how to feel or what to do. It is possible to be asexual but have romantic feelings for other people. There are plenty of asexuals who find other people attractive in a non-sexual, romantic manner. They might be attract to the way a person looks (in a non-sexual way), or their personality, or whatever. So you are free to have a crush. There are plenty of asexual people who are married, or date or are going out with someone. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to someone, but there are other forms of attraction. Like romantic attraction for example. I hope that makes sense? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Of course you can have a crush. Live your life and don't limit yourself to what you think a model asexual might do. Just stay safe, sane, and consensual. And legal. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 46 minutes ago, Stheg said: you could just have a late onset of sexual attraction Nothing is late at 14. 3 minutes ago, borkfork said: Of course you can have a crush. Live your life and don't limit yourself to what you think a model asexual might do. Just stay safe, sane, and consensual. And legal. This this this this this. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tbear Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 Thank you 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spades&Hearts Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Hi! Welcome to AVEN - I'm new here too! I first started questioning my sexuality when I was entering high school at 13 or 14. I had always known that I was not straight, but I just kinda thought I was bisexual because I only knew of gay, straight, or bi at the time. By my senior year I finally learned about asexuality and everything finally fell into place. I definitely don't think you are too young to know that you are asexual. I think you can definitely feel romantic attraction, but you don't need to feel that sexual attraction. Don't let anyone tell you that you are too young to know who you are and what your interests are. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tbear Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Thank u, that's by far the best advice yet! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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