Lucy in the sky Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hello! (Btw, I hope this topic is ok here, I wasn't sure where to put it...) I feel like the asexual spectrum/orientation is fairly unknown to most people, so now that I have the chance I would like to shed some light on this topic. I am considering doing a presentation on asexuality at my university for one of the subjects. However I do feel a bit reluctant, because it might open a can of worms on me But mainly because I'm not entirely sure what would be the most important things to point out (given that it's a fairly short (10-15min) presentation) So that's why I'm asking this community for advice. It would be super helpful if you could give me some suggestions what you, as an ace would like to point out. What would you like the sexuals to understand better or become aware of? Please, leave me your suggestions here. If I decide that I have enough material to go through with the presentation, I could post it here if anyone would like, and of course I'll cite the sources And here is a list of things that I've already been planing on pointing out (I'm thinking of using this site as a big source of explanations from 'real' people) defining the term 'asexuality' what falls under this umbrella term (grey-ace, demi-ace, etc.) explaining the difference between sexual and romantic attraction I'd like to point out some common misconceptions - I COULD USE SUGGESTIONS ON THOSE TOO some fun ace culture stuff for the end (black ring, ace awareness week, representative flags/colors, some cake analogy for the end maybe ) Link to post Share on other sites
theperksofbeing Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 common misconceptions - aces don't want romance, all aces are sex-repulsed, somehow aces can never be satisfied in life because they aren't interested in sex (i still don't understand this one??), asexuality is the same as abstinence (sexual ATTRACTION and sexual HABITS are not the same thing, guys) it's really cool that you're doing your presentation on this, i'd love to hear how it goes after! Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 15 minutes ago, theperksofbeing said: all aces are sex-repulsed I believe there is also quite a contrary stereotype, especially among people who are intolerant towards asexuality and try to at least limit the category as much as they can: that only people who are absolutely indifferent to the idea of having sex can be considered true asexuals, and that those who have a level of active sex aversion are not ace but Have A Problem. I wouldn't delve very much into it because it already steers into the contested territory whether there is such a thing as sexual dysfunctions (my opinion is that there isn't, there are only individual sexual problems which should be treated individually, with accepting one's own limits remaining a valid option), but the 3-4 basic attitudes to having sex should be presented (favorable, indifferent, averse and repulsed - I prefer to differentiate between the two, with repulsion being generalized disgust over sex, and aversion - only a strongly negative attitude to the idea of personally having sex). It also seems that the majority of asexuals are more or less unwilling to have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
theperksofbeing Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said: I believe there is also quite a contrary stereotype, especially among people who are intolerant towards asexuality and try to at least limit the category as much as they can: that only people who are absolutely indifferent to the idea of having sex can be considered true asexuals, and that those who have a level of active sex aversion are not ace but Have A Problem. I wouldn't delve very much into it because it already steers into the contested territory whether there is such a thing as sexual dysfunctions (my opinion is that there isn't, there are only individual sexual problems which should be treated individually, with accepting one's own limits remaining a valid option), but the 3-4 basic attitudes to having sex should be presented (favorable, indifferent, averse and repulsed - I prefer to differentiate between the two, with repulsion being generalized disgust over sex, and aversion - only a strongly negative attitude to the idea of personally having sex). It also seems that the majority of asexuals are more or less unwilling to have sex. ah yeah, agreed on all fronts. there's no limit on people's feelings toward sex within asexuality and it's actually really annoying and ridiculous that people think/pretend there is Link to post Share on other sites
Stheg Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 As for misconceptions, the idea that we can't have functional relationships with sexuals or that we're doomed to be single for life. Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Aces cannot marry or have children. Ability to sign legal documents: check Lady parts: fully functional AFAIK http://www.asexualityarchive.com/things-that-are-not-asexuality/ http://www.asexualityarchive.com/asexuality-misconceptions-and-mistakes/ Link to post Share on other sites
celestialwhims Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I'm so glad that you're spreading awareness about asexuality in such an educational and open-minded way! There are lots of great misconceptions here already, but another one would definitely be that asexuals don't need companionship/intimacy, or that we're these strange freaks of nature that can survive without any social interaction. Everybody needs love in some form, whether that be an engrossing conversation, hand-holding, sex (if they enjoy the physical act), or even just companionable silence without another person. We don't have stone-cold hearts, after all. Asexuals can actually be incredibly intimate people in whatever way they prefer. Link to post Share on other sites
Groobly Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 You could point out that being ace doesn't necessarily mean no libido. Some aces do have the need to satisfy their urges, and some don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Misconception: Asexuality is a 'spectrum' or an 'umbrella term'. It is not. It is the complete absence of an innate desire for partnered sexual activity. If you experience this desire, however rarely or under which circumstances, ever, at all, you're NOT asexual. You're on the sexuality spectrum. Asexuality is one extreme point on the sexuality spectrum. It's a yes/no kind of thing, like being pregnant or being dead. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 And yet "not-fully-asexual" people find much more understanding from "fully asexual" people than from "fellow sexuals". If someone experiences sexual attraction extremely rarely, they may have as much trouble forming a relationship as someone who never, ever does. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 22 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said: And yet "not-fully-asexual" people find much more understanding from "fully asexual" people than from "fellow sexuals". If someone experiences sexual attraction extremely rarely, they may have as much trouble forming a relationship as someone who never, ever does. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucy in the sky Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 thank you all for these wonderful replies! I'll make sure to use them Link to post Share on other sites
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