Can I still trust him, even though I'm afraid of getting hurt?

[Confused.Kitten]

I think and say I trust him . But there is this fear in me , this insecurity of getting hurt again...

Does this mean I don't trust him? Can I still trust him, even though I'm afraid of getting hurt?

[NerotheReaper]

Has something happened that has made you doubt him, or is it just an generalized fear?

 

If it is the latter, part of being in a relationship is being vulnerable and opening your heart. Though if it is the first one, if he has hurt you before while it is good to believe and give second chances you shouldn't be stressing yourself. Second chances are good because people are complex, and people make mistakes and that is okay. Though it is good to communicate and let the other person know your worries. 

[Confused.Kitten]

17 minutes ago, NerotheReaper said:

Has something happened that has made you doubt him, or is it just an generalized fear?

 

If it is the latter, part of being in a relationship is being vulnerable and opening your heart. Though if it is the first one, if he has hurt you before while it is good to believe and give second chances you shouldn't be stressing yourself. Second chances are good because people are complex, and people make mistakes and that is okay. Though it is good to communicate and let the other person know your worries. 

Well , there was a lil cheating episode from his side while we were giving a time out. He honestly thought it was okay , but when he saw how he made me feel he pretty much did everything to have me by his side. There is love. I couldnt give up on him, without a second chance... But even thought I can give him my heart without hesitating, there is this fear and insecurities of getting hurt. I trust him but I'm not safe enough... Probably because, all this was a huge hit on my self confidence... No matter what he says, there is always a lil whisper in my head saying I'm  not enough for him . That I can't please him or love him properly. And I know it's a lie , but there are times it's hard to ignore

[Ash_fi]

I believe the insecurity comes from not knowing enough - not from "not being enough". We are enough, always. That is love. We do our best.  If the relationship is not enough then the fault is in between, in not knowing and understanding fully   - not on either person. Sometimes it can be fixed with openness, sometimes it can't, but without reaching out it won't mend.

 

Have you been able to talk about it, your insecurities and what hurts you? For many years I feared I would be even more hurt if I did that but now I know it's really the only way to reflect inner me - with someone I love who's not afraid to look deep into it.