Hanasanaide Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi all! I am in need of some advice. My current boyfriend is generally a very understanding partner. He does well in dealing with my anxiety and disassociation and even my ADD (bless his soul for putting up with that because seriously I'm all over the place with my attention span Lol). However, I came out to him as grey ace recently and he was so confused. He is more conservative and doesn't really believe in a lot of the "plus" in LGBT+. Initially when I told him what grey ace was he responded with, "well what does that mean for us?" I told him to forget I said anything and to pretend it hadn't happened, but I just feel so.. invalidated in a sense. Anyone have any advice with how to explain this more to him or how to cope with this lol? Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 His question seems sincere, not like he was invalidating you. You could tell him just how you feel rather than giving him a label. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 His question seems pretty fair, cause you just gave him a piece if info that could change the relationship.. he's probably wanting to know if things will change or this will put limitations on your future. I would just explain to him what it means and why you felt it was important to tell him. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I agree with the above, he sounds like he is curious and wants to know what it means for the relationship. Which is a fair and genuine question, if roles were reserved I am sure you would also want to know what it meant for the relationship. Just explain to him, communication is very important in any relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Groobly Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 If it's not something you've recently discovered about yourself, then honestly tell him nothing is going to change because you've felt that way all along and that this is just a good label for yourself that you've discovered. If this is something entirely new to you and you're questioning all of the sexual choices you've made until this point and plan on making personal changes in your life that could effect your guys' relationship, just be honest with him. Talk it out, because this is a big change for both of you in this case. Either way he's uninformed on asexuality and greysexuality and probably knows nothing about these things besides the stereotypes, so just try and explain it to him. Communication is key no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 would 2nd all above posters was planning on saying pretty much the same. However, i have a minor point to make, your bf question it is probably a sincere question and in my opinion the most important one. I am asexual but in the context of explaining to others the only person it really matters to explain it to is a potential partner and in that case it probably doesnt matter what it is as such but how it will workout in any future relationship. For example, some aces cant have sex, others dont mind having sex with partners. If I was a aboutto enter into a relationship with any LGBT+ person, his question would be my first on my mind even though I know what asexuality is. for example even if I end up hooking up with an aseuxal they may not like cuddling which I would want in a relationship. It doesnt really matter whether they are asexual, homosexual, hetrosexual or what, what matters is our sexual compatibility and our relationship needs. Link to post Share on other sites
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