MangoMadness Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hi! So while I love myself and accept that I'm ace it makes me worry a bit sometimes. As I currently identify as heteroromantic, possibly hetroflexible, I worry about future relationships, especially when it comes to long term ones. I'm afraid guys will either use my asexuality to justify cheating to themselves ("You weren't putting out so I had to seek pleasure from another person since you weren't satisfying my needs"), or because I wasn't satisfying their sexual needs just being dropped completely. Asexuals are few and far between when you're just out in the world and the chance that I'll actually end up falling in love with one is very unlikely. In all likelyhood I'll most likely end up falling in love with multiple heterosexual men over the course of my life, as around 98 percent of men self identify as heterosexual and hetroromantic. That being said most men in that demographic, many studies say, consider sex a necessity in a relationship. As well as many men across all sexualitys desire for children. I'm afraid I won't fit anyone that I'm romantically attracted to's criteria. I really want to be someones dream girl, as cheesy as that sounds, and I'm terrified that'll never happen and I'll never be viewed as a candidate for a long term partner. Can anyone else relate? Or offer any consolleance? Link to post Share on other sites
Bloomberg19 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I feel the same way except I am a guy and feel that finding an asexual female in real life is very difficult and potentially will never happen. I wouldn’t give up as I think there are plenty of asexual guys who are trying to find matches with asexual women. Link to post Share on other sites
straightouttamordor Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Even in an asexual relationship many worry their partner may abruptly announce they are no longer asexual. Or want to "cure" it by pursuing a sexual relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 It's possible to have a good long-term relationship without sex. I am currently in a relationship with someone from AVEN, sex is not on the table and we're coming up on a year anniversary. I also dated a guy off OKCupid (3 dates) that liked me, wanted to continue dating me but it just didn't click (he was nice and all, but I need more time to develop romantic feelings and I felt I was leading him on since I couldn't say I do or don't or will or won't). So, don't feel hopeless. Just might take a little more effort or time than if you could date within the majority. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I am sorry you have those worries, my advice is with relationships be friends with someone for a long time. Get a feel for them, and their personality and tell them about your asexuality. Yes not every partner will be accepting of it, but there are people out there who will accept you for who you are. A lot of relationships involve compromise on both ends, so maybe you might find someone and have sex a few times a month instead of every other day. Though every relationship is different, and everyone has different needs so this may vary I just said that as an example. You can try using asexual dating websites to try to find someone in your area, but these websites aren't super popular since asexuality is not super well known. You will find someone you just have to be open to it, and it will happen naturally Link to post Share on other sites
Demiheart Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Hold out hope! It does happen, sometimes when you least expect it. I went through a long period dating people that didn't work at all, but I got lucky eventually and found someone who matched me. Try ace dating sites, and normal dating sites if you want to, making friends in real life, or joining groups is always a good idea too. Link to post Share on other sites
kirakana Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I think we all have our doubts about finding a partner; especially since our dating pool is a bit smaller. It can be depressing sometime as meeting someone compatible seems hard, but you mustn't lose hope On the other hand, there are people on this forum, who have found love - both with an asexual and sexual partners; some of them even found it on this site! (That is I why I like reading The Success Stories Threads ). As NerotheReaper wrote - not all of your (potential) partners will be open to the asexuality aspect. Then there will be people who will accept everything about you with open arms and these are the ones, who are worth searching for Link to post Share on other sites
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