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So it happens that in my family is kind of normal a touchy/kissey attitude that I never, ever, felt comfortable with. They even didn't had any problems with showing naked or changing clothes in front of others, and the whole idea of being caught up switching clothes makes me anxious. I guess when I was a kid I really never cared nor paid much attention to this, even in my teen years I was kind of ok and confused when people freaked out about sibling love, but I guess that was because I never experienced what it was to be free from all that unwanted touch, I was better at getting over it. Usually they respect me, but for certain circumstances I'm living with my brother now, both my brothers have been really free with the ass smacking and kiss stuff with me, and I've come to the realisation that this is wrong and that I hate it, I hate it so much. What made me write this was the fact that my brother kissed me in the head (is fine, I can deal with this) and then he got one of his arms on my left side, I'm kind of busty so his hand went too near to my chest, now this was unintentional, like that other many times, I guess.

 

I don't know, I'm not in the position to know when sibling affection is too far from normal since none of my friends have brothers, I've know of stories from a therapist friend of incestuous relationships and I'm quite far from that, at least on my part. Honestly I never know if I'm overreacting on this matter or not, but I'm too scared that things might get too far, that I wont be able to control it and that it will crush me, I mean I'm getting this sick and grossed out just by this.

 

I'm seriously considering taking some self defense lessons, but anyway, could you guys help me out on this, please? Do you have similar stories?

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I don’t have a sister so I don’t really know what a “normal” brother-sister dynamic is, but it could be simple sibling shenanigans; people do immature things to their siblings cause they feel like they can be silly or bothersome in good fun. On the other hand, if it gets too gropy or weird, you could try to let them know that it’s uncomfortable. Most siblings think real incest is creepy so, assuming they’re normal, they’ll stop of their own accord. Hopefully, you are being overly cautious and nothing is up, but it doesn’t hurt to be on guard these days. It’d be kinda sad though if you couldn’t feel safe in your own home.

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16 hours ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Have you tried telling them to stop doing that to you because you don't like it?

No, not really, I'm known in my family for making a big deal from everything that seems little or uninmportant, this might be one of those things, and when I adress that I'm feeling uncomfortable about anything a big deal of unwanted argues happen. I want to avoid that because first, I'm not in the position nor want to change anyone's behaviour, and two, I just want to be sure that I'm not freaking out for nothing and bring up useless argues again, I need some perspective on this and know if others have experienced the same or not.

 

13 hours ago, Laplace said:

I don’t have a sister so I don’t really know what a “normal” brother-sister dynamic is, but it could be simple sibling shenanigans; people do immature things to their siblings cause they feel like they can be silly or bothersome in good fun. On the other hand, if it gets too gropy or weird, you could try to let them know that it’s uncomfortable. Most siblings think real incest is creepy so, assuming they’re normal, they’ll stop of their own accord. Hopefully, you are being overly cautious and nothing is up, but it doesn’t hurt to be on guard these days. It’d be kinda sad though if you couldn’t feel safe in your own home.

Thank you (: I don't know much about how other siblings are so I wanted to have more insight about this, and yeah it is bad enough to feel like this at home, but I want to feel better without making a ruckus if thats possible hahaha

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Don't dismiss your feelings. If your family is making you uncomfortable, it is better to confront it than pretend to their face that everything is all right. It only boils up negative feelings on your end. Also, you shouldn't have to accept being uncomfortable in your own home. I have four other siblings, two brothers and two sisters. My family was never psychically affectionate with each other so my experience is very different from yours. I don't know how normal that is in a touchy feely home, but regardless if it is the kind of affection that makes you uncomfortable, it needs to stop. A lot of people would hate what your going through. 

 

In fact, I have a somewhat similar experience, except it was a friend rather than a family member. A male friend who is attracted to me would sometimes smack my butt out of nowhere and poke my sides. I found it all very annoying and told him off. He admitted that it was his way of releasing some sexual frustrations. Now they are your siblings so this whole thing could be platonic, but reading how close his hand came to your breast sent up red flags. I know from experience that some guys try to get away with accidentally touching certain areas by doing innocent actions to get near you. If you are getting a feeling that this is wrong, don't ignore it. It could be all innocent, but whenever I got the feeling it wasn't, I was right all along. 

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Quality_Penguins

I have a younger brother, and we definitely don't do any sort of groping of that sort with each other, and none of my friends have ever said that they do anything like that. I would try to politely tell them to stop at first and how it makes you feel. Hopefully it won't turn in to a big deal.

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My family is somewhat touchy feely.  Hugs are freely given, and sometimes even stolen.  A kiss on the forehead or top of the head occasionally.  However how I behave with my sister is much different than her interactions with her bf.  

 

I did take me a while as a team to get my grandmother from patting my butt when she gave me a hug. My brother doesn't like being touched/hugged, so we do respect his space.

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I'm going to say that I really doubt they mean anything weird by it and will be confused if you bring up your concerns. However, if it is making you uncomfortable that's all that matters. What they see as normal, familial affection does not feel that way to you, so the behavior should change.

 

You should discuss it with them. They probably will joke about it and tease you about overreacting, but they will probably also try and stop some of the over-the-top behaviors.

 

Good luck!

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