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IndigoGael

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Anyone have anyone constantly trying to set them up with someone, no matter how much they say they are not and never will be interested???

This guy (very right wing, conservative Christian) keeps going on and on, attempting to set me up with his son, who is obviously not interested either. He keeps going on and on about how his son "needs to find a nice girl who likes to hunt and fish." My guess is, he's concerned about his son simply because he apparently doesn't have an interest in women-he hasn't said it, but I have a feeling he's concerned about his son's sexual orientation. I myself, have practically come out as lesbian to him (I am gray-homoromantic, asexual, and sex repulsed.) As I said, this is a very right-wing conservative Christian dude-he obviously has this notion that just because I serve in my state defense force I'm also a conservative Christian. I'm neither-I informed him that I am a Celtic pagan and he said "that is just so evil!" No matter how much I convince him otherwise, he seems convinced that I'm going to meet his son, magically become straight, we're going to fall in love, get married, have a family and I'm going to convert to Christianity (I grew up in the Irish Catholic church and will NEVER go back) and be a good Christian wife and mother.

Children and sex are two things that I CANNOT ABIDE. As someone on the autism spectrum I KNOW that I cannot handle screaming babies-one second is all that it takes, and you're in prison for life. I'm also frustrated for his son that his father can't leave him alone and respect his own views and wishes (and maybe his son *is* gay or asexual-SO WHAT?!) He keeps going on and on-"he needs to meet girls, he needs to meet girls, he needs to meet girls."

Anyone else honestly feel sorry for people like that?

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I simply cannot understand people like this. Why do they want to force their own beliefs on people who maybe don't give a damn about them? I myself am Christian and I love my religion and respect it, but why paganism should be considered evil? I don't understand the logic behind it! And the matchmaking part is ridiculous.

As a girl who often hears from her father "When you get married" "When you're going to have kids" statements I literally want to cry from exhaustion. He simply doesn't understand that I'm asexual even when I told him! He told me bluntly that the only important thing in marriage is a wealthy husband and that love doesn't exist.

None the less, I hate people who don't respect the sexual or romantic orientation of other persons; Did they do something to you? Did they say something to you? Oh, but another funny thing: One of my classmates in school that knows that I'm asexual told me that I cannot be Christian if I'm not sexually active or something like that. Otherwise, I'm a Satanist... It makes me laugh how the mind of certain people works.

I can understand that if you have grown in a household where talking about LGBT+ or things like that is strictly seen as a stupid and irrelevant topic, you have a certain mindset, but that doesn't mean you have to take it for something unchangeable.

Just try to understand someone who is different from you, someone who goes through struggles that are not the same as you go through and don't be an ass in your life. That's all. Good Lord is it hard to understand that every single each of us is different in their own ways and that that is a beautiful thing?

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Another Ace wrote A Parents' Guide About Their Asexual Children to help disspel that and gave a couple of examples of Biblical verses for parents to read, who believe that asexuality in their religion is wrong.

 

From that online guide:

Quote

What Not To Say To Your Child

 

“God doesn’t approve.” Since the people who raise this objection are most often Christian, here are a couple of verses to take a look at:  1 Corinthians 7:6-9 and Matthew 19:10-12.  Many other religions have similar statements of acceptance.  I am unaware of any religion that specifically condemns asexuality.

 

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My relatives and parents regularly hint that they would like me to find a girl I like someday. I've neither dated nor even interacted with a woman (or man for that matter) romantically in my 23 year long life, but somehow they still sort of cling to the hope that someday someone will come around and just magically change my whole outlook on romance. Like sure, I can be overly harsh on romance, but that does not mean this is a case of sour grapes. It doesn’t help that my parents are divorced. In the end, I just carry on with my life.

 

Also, my dad is rather religious, but I am nearly antitheistic so sometimes our views on relationships clash. He isn’t super vocal about it and largely keeps it to himself, but I know he wants me to have a “normal” hetero relationship. At least he’s not that overbearing. I just really dislike religious zealots (and sometimes religion as a whole).

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AncientAmateur

I can so relate! There are a couple of women at the ballroom dancing studio I go to & they can nag quite a bit & it is constantly frustrating!

 

I also HATE it when people are like "you should meet my son/brother/4th cousin removed/any male they have the slightest acquaintance with"

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18 hours ago, Stray_Cat said:

 

Interesting that you should bring up divorce, said guy has been married and divorced three times...!

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@IndigoGael Well divorce is certainly a matter of opinion; I think that a perfect marriage doesn't exist. Often I see girls dreaming of getting married and having a husband, children and all of those kinda things, not knowing how much someone has to invest to make a relationship blossom into something everlasting.  In Christianity, marriage is a sacred ritual that is impossible to break even after the divorce, because, for the religion, that string cannot be cut.  In my opinion, if this guy is a conservative Christian like he so likes to claim himself, he should know that divorce isn't accepted in the Christian community. If someone divorces a lot of times, either there was something wrong with the people they chose to be "until death can split you apart" or there's something wrong with them. A strong marriage comes from a strong trust and respect from both parties that can get through every challenge they encounter in their lives. If you notice that you cannot keep with your partner and that you start having thoughts like "God, is this how are we going to be for the rest of our lives?" then maybe you didn't marry the right person and a divorce is a perfectly great option for you if you can't sort thing out with your spouse/groom. But, just like I said, It is just my opinion.

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RoseGoesToYale

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I was in a similar situation in a previous friendship. She would try to set me up with people she knew, and she knew I was ace. There was one guy on campus she herself once described as "desperate, kind of a dog". I told her I wasn't interested in meeting him, but she invited him to meet me anyway and it was really uncomfortable. Then she started going on about her boyfriend's brother. "You should date him, he's so asexual!" "Go look at his profile, you two would go great together." "See, doesn't he sound asexual?" This was the point where the friendship had really begun to decline.

 

It sounds like this guy is in major denial, about many things. He'll probably find out the hard way that he can't change people.

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He is in major denial. He's convinced that I think I'm a lesbian and a pagan just because my family is from Boston and therefore I must have been brought up by "libtards"...seriously?!! 

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On 10/17/2017 at 4:29 PM, IndigoGael said:

He's convinced that I think I'm a lesbian and a pagan just because my family is from Boston

Makes assumptions... big assumptions...

 

On 10/17/2017 at 4:29 PM, IndigoGael said:

"libtards"

I just had to keep myself from facepalming. This is honestly horrible.

 

I consider myself pagan so I pity you right now... His father is clearly in denial and I pity him but I pity his son far, far more.

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14 hours ago, Starfiery said:

Makes assumptions... big assumptions...

 

I just had to keep myself from facepalming. This is honestly horrible.

 

I consider myself pagan so I pity you right now... His father is clearly in denial and I pity him but I pity his son far, far more.

Words cannot say how awful I feel for his son...

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  • 2 months later...

I know this is a couple months old, but just an update: So this guy (we serve in the state guard together), from what I've heard from other guys in our unit, has one thirty year old son who is single, and who I believe is *happy* single-and he is absolutely desperate for grandchildren. Desperate to the point where he tries to set the poor kid up with any female that comes their way-including an ASEXUAL LESBIAN who also has a NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION THAT PREVENTS HER FROM BEING ABLE TO HANDLE SCREAMING BABIES. Yes, he is that desperate. Being an "adopted" grandda to the children or grandchildren of friends, etc., has apparently never crossed his mind. HE MUST HAVE GRANDCHILDREN.

To push children on people who don't like or want them is just STUPID. As I said, ONE SECOND IS ALL THAT IT TAKES...AND YOU ARE IN FOR LIFE. All one simply has to do is turn on the TV or go online to see countless stories about abused and neglected children! This is what happens when people who don't like or want children end up having them anyway!

Oh yeah, I brought up the "Boston Irish libtard" comment to another guy I serve with (and apparently that's why I just *think* I'm a lesbian and a pagan) and he rolled his eyes and was like "Oh yeah, that's totally him. He doesn't believe in that sort of stuff." So there ya guys go.

I would tear out my uterus if I could. 

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