help! i want to quit my job, but don't know how

[lostonme]

It's been quite a while since I posted on AVEN. I usually don't even discuss asexuality here, but I find that the community is very supportive and helpful. Here's my deal: I'm a junior in college and reaallllly stressed. I work at my school's newspaper as an assistant news editor, which means I write and edit news stories, work 2- 3 shifts each week that start at 5 p.m. and end til whenever we're done publishing stuff (latest I've been was around 2 a.m.). I also need to help out with breaking news whenever something big happens, which seems way too often. Just on Saturday there was a shooting off-campus, but nearby. I've been struggling this semester with keeping up with everything and I'm not dedicating as much time to my classes as I'd like. I also don't even really like working at the paper. The only reason I applied was to get experience that would hopefully help me get an internship, which I need to graduate. I'm a journalism major so it needs to be an internship at a news org/ doing journalism. (I don't want to be  a journalist after I graduate, but that's a whole other thing I don't really need to explain right now). I've been working at the paper for almost a year now, and I want to quit the paper at the end of this semester because of the reasons I mentioned. But I've become good friends with the other editors, and we don't have a lot of strong writers on the news desk, so I feel extremely bad about leaving them. At the same time though, I know I don't want to keep putting myself through this stress, and I really want to have more time to myself again. How can I not feel guilty about wanting to quit? I'm a little worried I'll just end up staying on the staff because I feel too bad about leaving them, and I know I don't want that. Also, how do I tell my editor that I am going to quit? 

[Crazy Cat Lady]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, as it's something that's always been hard for me, as well.

 

Now (I'm 44), I can't leave my job (though, at this point, I desperately want to!), without having something else lined up.

 

Good luck.

[OldSoul]

I almost came here for the same thing awhile back, but instead I did a ridiculous amount of thinking, and now have many ideas for gracefully leaving employment.
I didn't like my job whatsoever, and my coworkers were just shy of satan, if satan had a massive over-inflated ego and there were about ten of him.
Here are some of the basic worries I was faced with:
Do I need to give two weeks?
If I have to give two weeks, how will I look at my terrible coworkers? (in your case, just coworkers).
What counts as a valid reason for leaving?
 

Eventually I went with this exit plan, which you could rip off as much as you like, obviously.
After I put my back out on site (not faked, very real) I sent a very cordial and polite email to my boss alerting him that I had to leave the job, and was putting my two weeks in. BUT, I also said that I would be unable to go in to work on the advice of my chiro, who wanted me on bed rest and avoiding stress because of my scoliosis. 

My back problems were aggravated by my stress, and anyone who cares about you wouldn't think twice, and would surely understand if you had to leave for stress. Beyond that, a doctor's note (or imagined recommendation) will get you out of those last two weeks where you can't look people in the eye.

Your mental health is surely the most important in all of this.

Other than that, I did think of about a hundred other ideas, though- to be fair- may of them were awful. Those include, but were not limited to: 
Quitting at work in person, and walking out. Faking a family emergency. Just allowing myself to have a panic attack and never coming back. Just leaving and never showing up again. A long email. A long letter. Gaining employment somewhere else, and citing that as the reason I was terminating my own employment. Pretending to move. Doing worse and worse until they fired me; alternatively doing almost nothing and not stressing out until they fired me. Admitting myself to the hospital. Starting a worker's comp suit over my worker's comp injury (I did not, this was a friend's suggestion). Citing personal conflict. Just leaving, and citing my stress. 

Yes, those are are all awful. That's why I felt okay about the one I eventually went with, because it allowed me to escape and never look back.
Leaving a job can be really, REALLY, hard. I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
Best of luck!

[Guest]

On 10/15/2017 at 10:41 PM, lostonme said:

How can I not feel guilty about wanting to quit?

Do so in a way that is professional, and gives your boss enough time to find a replacement for you.

This clears your conscience.

 

Two weeks or a month are more than enough. Also offer to be part of their training or assisting with the change. This shows them your heart is in the right place.

 

It's also how you see it. If you dread your work, you do them a grave disservice in reporting to it. Your effort and passion no longer will be an asset to them. You get to a point, where you only hurt yourself and your reputation in remaining.

 

I don't mean this disrespectully, but you are replaceable. All employees are. Business is about the bottom line. They will survive with or without you.

 

I know if I left my workplace, I would be replaced within a couple weeks.

 

Tons of people who would love to do what you do. So has to do with that, not what you bring to the table. If I put an ad out for my position, I would get hundreds of resumes within days.

 

Sleep on it, but listen to your gut. It either goes silent, or grows louder. Never ignore your gut telling you something feels wrong. That's where regret comes from. If it's screaming at you, this regret turns to resent.

 

Also, key here. They don't need to know what you typed in this thread.

 

Keep it short.

 

My typical stance usually went towards thanking them for the opportunity. That I was looking for new challenges, and kept things simple.

 

Make sure this isn't an emotional decision, and one you gave time to think through. If it's relentless, then you know it's time.

 

Your boss will respect your decision and appreciate your professionalism.

 

Quitting is hard. I have had to make tough decisions a few times in my life regarding work. I remember one workplace, where there were many choked up people, hugs but I felt a weight off my shoulders in walking from a toxic work environment.

Doesn't make it easier, but it just felt right.

 

I knew deep down I had reached the plateau. I no longer felt challenged, and dreaded the work.

 

I knew it was time to leave, where the only motivator became the pay. That's usually my cue.

 

Also, don't play with health. There is only one of you.

[Peachyy]

On 10/15/2017 at 7:41 PM, lostonme said:

It's been quite a while since I posted on AVEN. I usually don't even discuss asexuality here, but I find that the community is very supportive and helpful. Here's my deal: I'm a junior in college and reaallllly stressed. I work at my school's newspaper as an assistant news editor, which means I write and edit news stories, work 2- 3 shifts each week that start at 5 p.m. and end til whenever we're done publishing stuff (latest I've been was around 2 a.m.). I also need to help out with breaking news whenever something big happens, which seems way too often. Just on Saturday there was a shooting off-campus, but nearby. I've been struggling this semester with keeping up with everything and I'm not dedicating as much time to my classes as I'd like. I also don't even really like working at the paper. The only reason I applied was to get experience that would hopefully help me get an internship, which I need to graduate. I'm a journalism major so it needs to be an internship at a news org/ doing journalism. (I don't want to be  a journalist after I graduate, but that's a whole other thing I don't really need to explain right now). I've been working at the paper for almost a year now, and I want to quit the paper at the end of this semester because of the reasons I mentioned. But I've become good friends with the other editors, and we don't have a lot of strong writers on the news desk, so I feel extremely bad about leaving them. At the same time though, I know I don't want to keep putting myself through this stress, and I really want to have more time to myself again. How can I not feel guilty about wanting to quit? I'm a little worried I'll just end up staying on the staff because I feel too bad about leaving them, and I know I don't want that. Also, how do I tell my editor that I am going to quit? 

I stayed at a previous job for a whole year after deciding that it was shit because they were low on staff and they liked me and blah blah blah. After i quit the only reason anyone contacted me was to ask if I could cover a shift, even knowing that I wasn't working there anymore. You shouldn't ever think that you owe it to your work to stay just because you perceive yourself to be one of the strings holding it together. Considering that there's going to be a time when you aren't able to leave a job that you don't want to work, take advantage of the freedom you have by leaving situations that hinder you while you still can. 

 

All you have to do is tell them that you're leaving. You don't want to work there anymore. Your schedule is having a negative impact of your life. Sorry, no, there's nothing they can do to make you want to stay. Giving them 2 weeks notices allows them to replace you with a current employee or to find someone new. Maybe, maybe , if you left the day you quit you aught to feel guilty about putting your coworkers in a  difficult position. But that's what "they", the people who hired you and manage you, signed up for. It's their job to make the operation move along even when someone steps out. It's not law to give them half of a month, you could leave in a week, or at the end of the current work week, or even on the day of. The only people I would ever honestly think twice about are the people who would have to pick up my work if I just up and left. Your employer needs to learn how to deal with losing employees, but from employee-to-employee, it sucks to work with someone and then randomly get a call (from a supervisor) that they left a bunch of stuff that (your supervisor is now gifting) for you to deal with. Not sure how altruistic your work environment is, but that's usually how it goes and if you're worried about anything it should be to tie up lose ends so that when you go there's the least amount of added pressure to be dispersed among those that remain.  

[lostonme]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm pretty reassured now that I don't have to feel bad. I know the job is not what I want and the workload is too much for me if I don't love it. Honestly just thinking about the relief I'll feel when I don't have to write or edit another story for the paper far outweighs my guiltiness for leaving. I plan on telling my editor in probably in the middle of November, maybe a bit sooner, so she can start thinking about who can replace me. It's a little weird because another girl with the same job as me (there are 3 assistant news editors) is graduating so she is also leaving, so now two positions will need to be filled. I realize that I need to priortize myself though.

[Guest]

On ‎10‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 10:49 AM, lostonme said:

I realize that I need to priortize myself though.

Its all about balance in life. Put yourself and health first, but respect their best interests in not leaving them high and dry (I.E a couple days notice, where they don't even have enough time to put an ad out). 

 

Putting yourself first, doesn't mean you have to leave everyone in your dirt. There are ethical ways, of doing so. Your post stipulates, you already have the right mindset going into this. It will be hard, but your boss will truly value how professional you're being about this all. 

[Guest]

I've honestly had bosses tell me, I was the first person to give a "fair amount of notice when quitting". 

Unless your boss is a prick, they'll be happy to see you wanting to grow and expand your own brand, albeit being disappointed to lose your talent. They'll probably even word it exactly just like that. 

[Astryda]

How about you do it part-time and/or offer support in case of breaking news? Also wouldn't it be considered as internship, if you have someone with higher degree supervising your work?