Tf is a relationship & where do I get one

[rowannah]

Sorry, this is rambly.

Hello again. So I think I've come to the conclusion that I would really like a relationship. I've never been in one, so I feel like there may be potential that I am demisexual and can develop a sexual attraction later, but I have no idea how to do this getting into a relationship thing. I would rather something happen naturally in real life rather than online or in some sort of specific "dating" setting. Like basically I want to be a normal person but I'm totally not. I can be friendly with anyone pretty much, but I feel like I am very particular about what I want in a relationship; I want a solid emotional connection with someone, something that clicks and syncs and meshes. I've only really experienced that once and it was with a gal pal that I was never sexually attracted to. Idk, I guess it's not that different from what sexual people seek out, I just feel like I'm very picky which is not helpful for someone who's trying not to have sex. I don't crush on many people, and if I do, the feelings are never mutual, so the crush usually dissipates pretty quickly. I just don't think I've ever crushed on someone that's also crushed on me. I also feel like I hold myself back from seeking out anything because 1. anxiety and 2. I feel like it will just end up messy. I just want to feel normal and totally comfortable with someone, but I feel like if I meet someone random they're going to be weirded out by my lack of experience or I will never develop a sexual attraction and then it's done. Or if it's not done immediately we'll go through hell trying to figure out compromises or something. 

 

After all that shit I guess my question is how should I go about seeking out a relationship if I really want one? Again, I'd like it to be as normal as possible. Where the hell do people go to meet other people today? Bars? Is everyone just getting together through mutual friends or something?

[Lichley]

Meet a lot of new people, so that you can try to find someone your attracted to for starters, maybe try an AVEN meet up so you can find a demisexual like yourself to make it easy enough. Most asexuals go there to make friends, so your basically going to meet up with some people, and maybe keep an eye out for someone attractive. In the end, if you want to try it naturally a meet up with people you know share similar views to yourself is more likely to provide you with the person your looking for, rather than a series of blind dates or friend induced potential matches.

[NerotheReaper]

Well you can't force a relationship it will just happen, relationships happen naturally. Relationships take time and will sometimes happen when you aren't even trying or expecting it. I also would not recommend going to a bar usually people there have a certain mindset, and might just be looking for a hook up. So if you want something more serious, you can go through mutual friends which can be a safer way to meet people. You also can meet someone at work or class, or if you have a hobby that involves going out with other people you can potentially meet someone. There is also online dating which is quite popular some sites do allow a widen option of sexuality options, or you can put in your bio about your sexuality. 

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

It's actually the hardets thing to be found at all. Even if you find one, it may fade way sometime again. However, AVEN meet ups might be a good start if there's a local group located in your area. I'm stuck on dry ground over here. Just like a raindrop in the desert.

 

There are also ace dating websites but it just takes times and patience, no matter which way you choose. Just like @NerotheReaper said before.

 

Quote

You can't force a relationship it will just happen, relationships happen naturally.

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

[Epicene]

I feel exactly the same. Crushes are never reciprocated and almost everyone seems to be in a relationship. Like me, you might be rather hermit-ised, not spending much time interacting with others face-to-face? I think that's a contributing factor to this thing.

 

But to form a relationship, how many people does one have to meet - and develop an attraction to - and for it to be requited - and where the other person is actually available? 

 

Sounds near impossible to me. Yet I am constantly proven wrong. I don't understand.

[Bloomberg19]

I wish I could help you, I am curious to about how to find somebody who wants an asexual relationship as finding one in the real world seems almost impossible.