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StormySky

Not sure if dysphoric or overreacting to lady apparel.

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StormySky   
StormySky

*warning: aimless vent/complaining*

Dresses are awful and they make me feel gross. Especially ones that emphasize chest. I don't have much boob there to amplify but it's still noticeable. 

Skirts are just as bad. Especially if they're frilly. 

And I don't like high heels. Because foot pain.

I don't feel trans but sometimes I wish I was a dude so I'd have an excuse to dress comfy and not like a pretty princess. 

I don't like the complement of "cute" because it can imply attractive and I'm not going for that. But I like the word "cute" as in puppies, kittens, etc. 

I've never understood the insane emphasis on appearance or many female fashion trends. It makes me feel awful and like too many people are hopelessly shallow... especially stylish women. Beauty, in my eyes, is for breathtaking views and forms of art, not a word to describe people.

And it sucks that I have to wear dresses/feminine apparel for choir. The dresses show too much shoulder and make it feel like the top part is falling, even though I'm allegedly "too fat" for my dress. And my mom fusses over my hair/face like a maniac and won't ever let me perform without makeup. I'm not allowed to tie my hair back because "I don't look pretty enough."

I've never understood lace. It's uncomfy and even looks "girly" and blegh from my perspective.

But I compliment other girls anyways since I have an insane tendency to want to make people smile.

I'm confused and I really dislike looking like a lady. I'm just glad to live in an age where women can wear pants.

 

TL;DR: I don't like girl's clothes and they feel icky on me.

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Coby Asola   
Coby Asola

I can totally relate to you. I'm a cis female but I have had similar experiences to you. I'd say that just because you dislike gender roles doesn't mean you're a different gender. Granted you might be, but that's not necessarily the case. This is just from my personal experience but I hope it helps! Good luck!

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Feys&Florets   
Feys&Florets

Oh gosh, I HATE dresses!!

 

When I was little it was fine. I had a lovely blue dress I liked to wear, and I'd a dress of Disney's Esmeralda. (She was a gypsy. Not a princess. Totally different)

 

I don't want to look girly, and I'll dress how I please. I love martial arts, and am comfortable with tanktop and gi pants. If I have to go to something formal, I'll wear a collared shirt and slacks. 

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EmotionalAndroid   
EmotionalAndroid

I can relate. I like the look of dresses on some people and can like a dress by itself, but just not on me. Like I can go into a store and think "Wow, that's a gorgeous dress", but the thought of me wearing it makes me shudder. Comfort, practicality and mobility are more important to me than beauty. I, too, don't wear makeup and I always put my hair up to the best of my ability. Often I strongly desire to wear traditionally masculine clothing, but my family always warns me that I would "look like a dude" if I wore it, as if that would be the end of the world. I strongly believe that anyone should be able to wear anything they want. However, I am a people pleaser, so I don't wear too many overly masculine things for my family's benefit.

 

The nice thing is that females are no longer expected to wear dresses. If it is not a given uniform, perhaps you could wear slacks and a nice top for choir? There are lots of professional-looking outfits that don't involve skirts or dresses.

 

I hope that you can find a style that you like and that makes you feel comfortable.

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grayacehulk   
grayacehulk

It can be really hard to tell the difference between gender dysphoria and resentment of society. For a long time I thought I was just angry at what I was made to wear and act like as a child and about how hard I tried to fit in and like that stuff, and for a long time I wondered if certain members of my family were trans becuase they were just like you and even more averse to dresses than I am. Turns out I'm genderfluid and and the "manliest" woman in my family is cis non-conforming.

 

1 hour ago, EmotionalAndroid said:

I can relate. I like the look of dresses on some people and can like a dress by itself, but just not on me. Like I can go into a store and think "Wow, that's a gorgeous dress", but the thought of me wearing it makes me shudder.

This is me. This is me all the time, no matter how I'm feeling gender-wise. I love fashion for both sexes. No one says gay men who like women's fashion are trans, so why does liking fashion mean I have to be cis? 

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Marjolaine   
Marjolaine

I understand the thing with dresses... I cannot wear one myself.
But don't you find pants are a hell?
I mean, regarding the crotch... I think of jeans and I think on four layers on fabric sewn together and it gives me the shivers.
I dream about pants like these
gusset.jpg
but they are so uncommon that I may have to make them myself ...

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LuckofTheChuck   
LuckofTheChuck
17 hours ago, StormySky said:

 

Dresses are awful and they make me feel gross. Especially ones that emphasize chest. I don't have much boob there to amplify but it's still noticeable. 

Skirts are just as bad. Especially if they're frilly. 

I've never understood the insane emphasis on appearance or many female fashion trends. It makes me feel awful and like too many people are hopelessly shallow... especially stylish women. Beauty, in my eyes, is for breathtaking views and forms of art, not a word to describe people.

And it sucks that I have to wear dresses/feminine apparel for choir.  And my mom fusses over my hair/face like a maniac  I'm not allowed to tie my hair back because "I don't look pretty enough."

I've never understood lace. It's uncomfy and even looks "girly" and blegh from my perspective.

I know EXACTLY how that feels. "Especially ones that emphasize chest." I'm only a young teen and I have to wear dresses like that in church which is in Florida........

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Dan99   
Dan99

One time I said to my mom that dresses make me feel naked, because I'm used to pants and having something around my legs.

 

She thought it sounded crazy.

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I Am Mel   
I Am Mel
2 hours ago, Danny99 said:

One time I said to my mom that dresses make me feel naked, because I'm used to pants and having something around my legs.

How anyone can wear a dress and not feel like this amazes me but to each their own i suppose.

 

And i completely agree being called cute gives me horrible crawling feelings up my back and is only a word meant for kittens and jumping spiders (those f*****s are dam cute if youre not arachnophobic)

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Mezzo Forte   
Mezzo Forte

As a percussionist, I had more than enough reason to justify wearing men's attire while performing. I still had to wear dresses for high school concerts, but college let me explore my taste in the formalwear I've come to like. If you're in a mixed-gender group, Would the choir let you wear the men's uniform at all? 

 

In regards to clothes and dysphoria, it can definitely happen, and it can happen without you even fully realizing that it's dysphoria. I remember crying without comprehending what caused it while I was dress shopping with my mother as a teen. I just remember feeling so wrong in my own skin trying on all those damn things. Only in retrospect do I see how dysphoria factored in. 

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StormySky   
StormySky
On 10/14/2017 at 7:49 AM, Mezzo Forte said:

As a percussionist, I had more than enough reason to justify wearing men's attire while performing. I still had to wear dresses for high school concerts, but college let me explore my taste in the formalwear I've come to like. If you're in a mixed-gender group, Would the choir let you wear the men's uniform at all? 

 

In regards to clothes and dysphoria, it can definitely happen, and it can happen without you even fully realizing that it's dysphoria. I remember crying without comprehending what caused it while I was dress shopping with my mother as a teen. I just remember feeling so wrong in my own skin trying on all those damn things. Only in retrospect do I see how dysphoria factored in. 

Choir director says we can wear nice pants for auditions but my parents don't let me ;(

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StormySky   
StormySky
On 10/13/2017 at 3:31 PM, I Am Mel said:

How anyone can wear a dress and not feel like this amazes me but to each their own i suppose.

 

And i completely agree being called cute gives me horrible crawling feelings up my back and is only a word meant for kittens and jumping spiders (those f*****s are dam cute if youre not arachnophobic)

Spiders CAN be cute :) I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that!

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InquisitivePhilosopher   
InquisitivePhilosopher
On ‎10‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 9:49 AM, Mezzo Forte said:

As a percussionist, I had more than enough reason to justify wearing men's attire while performing. I still had to wear dresses for high school concerts, but college let me explore my taste in the formalwear I've come to like. If you're in a mixed-gender group, Would the choir let you wear the men's uniform at all? 

 

In regards to clothes and dysphoria, it can definitely happen, and it can happen without you even fully realizing that it's dysphoria. I remember crying without comprehending what caused it while I was dress shopping with my mother as a teen. I just remember feeling so wrong in my own skin trying on all those damn things. Only in retrospect do I see how dysphoria factored in. 

That's interesting. In school orchestra, my teachers wrote on their syllabi that females were allowed to either wear black skirts or pants with white dress shirts; I didn't own any skirts or dresses and didn't want to wear them, so I always wore black dress pants. I thought the dress code was the same for band students, too.

 

Re: Spiders 

 

The only spiders I think are cute are the fake ones for Halloween decorations. My family has two spider decorations that I like. I found them. Thanks for reminding me!

 

Ever since I learned that some spiders' venom can kill humans, I've felt uneasy around real ones. I like that they eat other household insects and can get rid of them for humans, though. That makes them kind of useful. 

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Mezzo Forte   
Mezzo Forte
4 hours ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

That's interesting. In school orchestra, my teachers wrote on their syllabi that females were allowed to either wear black skirts or pants with white dress shirts; I didn't own any skirts or dresses and didn't want to wear them, so I always wore black dress pants. I thought the dress code was the same for band students, too.

My old high school provided the uniform dresses that they made all the women/AFAB people wear, so there was no avoiding those dang dresses. I almost got the band director to allow me to wear the men's uniform, (standard concert black w/ bow tie and cummerbund,) but the catch was that I had to get all the female percussionists to agree to wear the men's uniform too. Not a single one was okay with the idea, and they basically thought I was crazy for suggesting that we wear pants to concerts. Those dresses were basically potato sacks, so I just assumed that everyone hated them. Guess they hated the idea of wearing men's clothes even more.

 

Where I come from, there really wasn't an orchestra tradition in public schools; we only really had wind bands. I didn't really get to experience orchestral playing until college. Thankfully, the female attire was "all black" for the university's large ensembles, so I wore black slacks/shirts up until I came out and started wearing the more traditional men's concert black. I can honestly say that I haven't performed in a dress since the day I finished high school, and I doubt I ever will again. :P 

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StormySky   
StormySky
31 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

My old high school provided the uniform dresses that they made all the women/AFAB people wear, so there was no avoiding those dang dresses. I almost got the band director to allow me to wear the men's uniform, (standard concert black w/ bow tie and cummerbund,) but the catch was that I had to get all the female percussionists to agree to wear the men's uniform too. Not a single one was okay with the idea, and they basically thought I was crazy for suggesting that we wear pants to concerts. Those dresses were basically potato sacks, so I just assumed that everyone hated them. Guess they hated the idea of wearing men's clothes even more.

 

Where I come from, there really wasn't an orchestra tradition in public schools; we only really had wind bands. I didn't really get to experience orchestral playing until college. Thankfully, the female attire was "all black" for the university's large ensembles, so I wore black slacks/shirts up until I came out and started wearing the more traditional men's concert black. I can honestly say that I haven't performed in a dress since the day I finished high school, and I doubt I ever will again. :P 

There were a few transmen in one of the unauditioned women's choirs and they were allowed to wear suits and ties. Though for this auditioned choir we're renowned as the "blue dresses" for concerts but we can wear pants for other formal events. I don't have any formal pants that fit me, though. My parents say they make me look fat and my mom controls my pre-performance wardrobe with an iron fist. 

The wind ensemble and orchestra just have to wear black formal clothes and I kinda wish we did that... but my choir is travelling so I'd gladly wear a dress as an excuse to get to see parts ofIreland (Where we're going :D)

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InquisitivePhilosopher   
InquisitivePhilosopher

@Mezzo Forte Yes. I grew up knowing that orchestra wasn't as popular as band. All of my orchestra classes (except one, which had two orchestra classes) would generally have only around twelve students, while the band groups would have around fifty students. One high school I briefly attended didn't even have an orchestra group or class because the office staff said that not enough students were interested in it; but they had a band class/group. I was surprised because even another low-income high school I attended had one, even though there were only about twelve students in the class.

 

@StormySky Ireland? How lucky! I wish the schools I attended traveled to other countries.

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