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Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery

Do some topics make you cringe?

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Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery   
Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery

The problem with being sex repulsed is that when topics are too detailed it makes me cringe reading the topic. I know there is an area "the sex talk" for things that might be too detailed but sometimes even stuff in the welcome lounge makes me :redface:

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OldSoul   
OldSoul

Absolutely.
Some people go a little overboard with the details without realizing that many of us are beyond uncomfortable with some topics.
 

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Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery   
Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery
6 minutes ago, OldSoul said:

Absolutely.
Some people go a little overboard with the details without realizing that many of us are beyond uncomfortable with some topics.
 

Phew, I thought it was only me. :) 

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Fioryn   
Fioryn

Sex-related topics don't really bother me. College probably knocked that sensitivity out of me. :P I try to be conscientious when talking about sex here, though. I know a lot of people here would prefer not to read about it or discuss it.

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Jayce   
Jayce
33 minutes ago, OldSoul said:

Absolutely.
Some people go a little overboard with the details without realizing that many of us are beyond uncomfortable with some topics.
 

Ikr? There was once someone who had to sharectheir love for theyre boobs with the world and all i could do is cringe :blink: 

 

I avoid sex talk as much as i can XD I absolutly don’t envy the one who has to mod that forum :D 

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Sleepy Skeleton   
Sleepy Skeleton

Sex doesn't bother me, but what I can't stand is any mention of pregnancy or parenthood, especially in a positive way. Nothing makes me mentally check out quicker than that.

 

I used to be pretty sex-repulsed, but really what made me get over it is being constantly exposed to sexual language, themes, stuff like that. I guess I'm desensitized to it now, but I can totally understand why it makes some people (especially aces) uncomfortable.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet   
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

Absolutely! Topics on sex makes me cringe with a passion in most cases.

I try to leave if possible if a conversation about sex is happening. If I'm not able to leave, I try my best to ignore it.

1 hour ago, OldSoul said:

Absolutely.
Some people go a little overboard with the details without realizing that many of us are beyond uncomfortable with some topics.
 

^^ THIS. In my case, people go overboard...too overboard. It's like they talk about sex to the smallest detail.

Luckily, in my case, people around me know how I feel about it and try to take me into consideration. And in return,I take them into consideration as well.

They either:

  1. Not talk about sexual shit around me or
  2. I leave the area and they won't be offended if I do so. They can talk about anything they want, but I sure as hell don't have to listen to it. 

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Homer   
Homer

Nope.

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Rhaenys   
Rhaenys

Sex doesn't bother me but that doesn't mean I care to hear the details of anyone's sexual lives or their sexual longings unless it is a serious case.

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Mirjam   
Mirjam

I am desensitised and can easily joke about sex in my rude asperge-y way, but it’s not a topic that interests me, nor something I enjoy. 

I am pretty new to the community even though I’ve been defining myself as asexual for quite a few years now and I am somewhat surprised by how much sex talk and sex in general is present up here. 

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Dan99   
Dan99

I wish people wouldn't talk about sexual stuff in public irl. It just seems kind of rude to me to talk out loud about something that might disturb certain people around. also spoiler just for tmi-ish stuff or words

Spoiler

Tak about female anatomy disgusts e. boobs, hips, vaginas, period, uteruses, pregnancy, all that. one night while eating dinner, my parents turned on ER and a woman was giving birth, it almost literally made me sick. I couldn't even eat because of it, but I didn't want to annoy anyone with asking to change the channel because it disturbed me.

 

I'm pretty densenitized to seeing dicks, but vaginas, hell no.

 

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Deus Ex Infinity   
Deus Ex Infinity

Sometimes but very rarely.

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arekathevampyre   
arekathevampyre

yup sometimes .

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Gloomy   
Gloomy

Reading about it doesn’t bother me very much, but if I’m around people in real life that are going on in detail about it then yeah it gets awkward for me.

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float on   
float on

haha yeeaahh, I'm one of those people who sometimes goes overboard with detail. but at the same time, sometimes I'm instead one of the folk who can't handle the detail :redface:

 

 

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Skycaptain   
Skycaptain

I'd agree that if sex-repulsed some forums are worth avoiding. 

People generally either post a TW/TMI or spoiler anything particularly intimate, however particularly in WL, please understand that posters are usually new to the forum, possibly to all Internet forums, and may not be au fait with unofficial protocols about graphic content 

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[noize:injekktion]   
[noize:injekktion]

yeah, I don't need to know others' sex lives in great detail.

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banoffeepie   
banoffeepie
1 minute ago, [noize:injekktion] said:

yeah, I don't need to know others' sex lives in great detail.

so true the amount of times I've sat there in front of a 'mate' while he tells me the most explicit details about his trip to Thailand.:huh:

(I've never told anyone about me ... I hope they don't come here)

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Nowhere Girl   
Nowhere Girl

[tw: mention of frightening people with cancer and death]

 

I'm autochorissexual and sex-averse (only strongly no-no about personally having sex), not sex-repulsed (at least this is how I personally draw the difference between the two. But I also liked very much how Laura (ace-muslim) described it, it was a very poignant metaphor: sex repulsion as a live wire and sex aversion as a force field which prevents anyone or anything from getting close to that wire), so I usually don't mind general sex talk. However, I'm sensitive to some topics. BDSM and kink makes me cringe. And I often feel bad anyway over sex talk... it's not that kind of visceral reaction, rather strong mental dissent. I read a lot of people here write about having sex for the first time, trying sex... I don't want to police their behavior, to deny them the right to make choices I wouldn't make, but yet I feel like a lot of people can't fully feel that they are never obligated to have sex. Like our culture suppresses that feeling in people and one needs to develop confidence and a sense of nonconformism to realise that no, sex is not something inevitable and if they want to, they can always choose not to have sex ever. I very much agree with what the author of this text from the "Asexual Education" Carnival of Aces wrote. I have never had that kind of trauma, but I feel like I would almost certainly regret a lot if I ever tried sex. That leaves me sensitive to that kind of message and yes, I think that more discouraging people from having sex is a good idea. The expression I prefer (which is also great for use outside the ace community): sex is exclusively for people who are 100% sure that they want it! If statistics which say that for 2/3 of young women who have had sex their first time was "consensual, but not really wanted", we - as a culture - are in deep trouble.

I feel like there's a bit of contradiction between having (third-person) erotic fantasies and refusing to be sex-positive, so I'd say: I'd never fantasize about an asexual person having sex. People should always feel that they are free to refuse sex and let's leave imaginary sexual scenarios to protagonists who are already sure that they want it to happen.

 

There's yet something else that makes me cringe: the idea of visiting a certain kind of doctor (see? I can't even write or say it, especially if there's any relation to myself - even in form of a refusal to visit this kind of doctor). I have desensitized myself to the point that I can generally read about others visiting this kind of doctor, but when I try to imagine personally doing it, I feel such extreme terror, repulsion and shame... this is way stronger than my sex aversion.

I never visited this kind of doctor and I don't feel guilty for it - I just know that I have a right to choose. But reading about it somewhere in the ace blogosphere (I'm not sure where it was... maybe by Coyote, but I can't find it now) felt very refreshing. There's a lot of sentiment in the vein of "but you have to! You must clench your teeth and do it, you will get cancer, you will die in horrible pain because you couldn't endure a little discomfort!". I have always felt like I have a right to reject it, or even more helplessly: I had to train myself to consciously reject this kind of rhetoric because the blunt reality is that I couldn't bring myself to do it anyway. But in the ace blogosphere - for the first time - I have encountered a different rhetoric. The whole idea was presented as a cost-benefit analysis and basically it said: no! if you feel that the psychological cost of submitting yourself to that kind of examination is too high for you, you have a right not to do it!

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Nowhere Girl   
Nowhere Girl
On 11.10.2017 at 10:06 PM, banoffeepie said:

so true the amount of times I've sat there in front of a 'mate' while he tells me the most explicit details about his trip to Thailand.:huh:

I wouldn't hesitate to openly criticize such a person.

I believe that sex without love or other feeling of commitment (for example: I'm generally OK with the idea of people having "friends with benefits", but not with people meeting for casual sex only) is not a morally good thing. I don't support prostitution - I perceive prostitutes as victims of the trade and while I'm not sure if the Swedish model is right, I believe that at least people who have sex with prostitutes should be punished with social ostracism.

I don't have any male friends that I know to have had such experiences, but if I knew, I would say openly that in my opinion they are doing something very much wrong.

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Lucas Monteiro   
Lucas Monteiro

I think I am lucky that I am not sex-repulsed because otherwise I don't know how I would handle it. As I do college, people from my age, let's say, are really open about their sex life. And as I only have male friends, they just keep giving the smallest details from the times they do sex, and I don't know what to do, I just try to get out of the conversation or change it, but it is horrible, because I get really uncomfortable. I just wish I knew people who were asexual that lived close to me, but that's just a lost hope I guess, especially that in my country, a lot of people are hypersexual, so the culture it's too.

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Fifi123   
Fifi123

I don't mind reading about it, but I do cringe when people discuss it in front of me in real life. I am glad that doesn't happen very often.

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theromarin   
theromarin

Pregnancy and reproduction just gross me out so much. My friends couldn't seem to stop talking about their experiences in gratuitous and highly unwanted detail when they were pregnant and I'm sitting there like "I really don't need to know about how your cooter works. Please stop." D: 

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