Not sure if this is the place for this, but I really need some advice.

[Jcole132]

Okay, so for starters I know this is something I have to figure out for myself, but I am very confused. So I am 21 and asexual. I have a boyfriend, but for a long time I have been thinking that when I see a pretty girl that she is pretty. I'll even catch myself looking at girls butts, I think because I'm envious that I don't have a big butt myself lol but I don't know, I don't think I am gay or bi, I just think girls are pretty. I'm so confused because of course I'm not sexually attracted to girls (or my boyfriend for that matter, but I do love him) but I don't know...I'm lost

[ThatHuman]

I'm an artist/writer - and I fear sometimes people get the wrong idea when I intensely watch them... I don't do that because I like them or something, I'm usually thinking: "I wonder what kind of life that person has, are they happy? Are they sad?.. What if they need help with something - and nobody knows..." or I am just really interested in the way they present themselves... People are interesting, what can I say?

 

I don't know - thought this little story may help you

[JMichael]

Aesthetic attraction, i.e. appreciating a well-formed human is different than sexual attraction. It's more like the sense of awe you might have at a beautiful sunset or a work of art. If it's a desire to build a friendship or other emotional bond, than the noticing might be something else.

[daisylove]

I find girls attractive but when it comes to the idea of having sex with them its EEEWWWWW like I'm a 12 year old and they have cooties. There's just zero interest in that way.

[TheAP]

Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations.

 

TheAP

Questions about Asexuality co-mod 

[kaysir]

Hey, now, most people can recognize whenever other people are attractive. Doesn't mean they're attracted TO them. Do you want to touch those girls' butts and possibly make 'em blush? Do you want to kiss or caress their pretty faces? Or do you just think "wow, she's pretty. Ooh, she has a nice butt."? Like you, I think you're straight.

[Jcole132]

Lol thanks guys XD 

[kittyblomu]

Yep; I think what you're experiencing is simply aesthetic attraction. I will never openly check out a girl (or a guy) but I'll think to myself, "Well s/he's not hard to look at" and move on with my day.

 

Also, if you are asexual, you are not straight. You could be romantically attracted to the opposite gender (in which case you might identify as heteroromantic asexual) but you can't be straight and asexual, as heterosexual (straight, because that is a sexual orientation as well (hence 'heterosexuality')) refers to being sexually attracted to the opposite gender and asexual refers to having no sexual attraction towards any gender. They contradict each other.

 

You could call yourself a straight asexual, I guess, but that's kind of confusing haha.