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Does my friend (who has a bf) want to sleep with my friend?

sarah24

By sarah24,
in The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions

Does she want to have sex with him?  

8 members have voted

  1. 1. Does she want to sleep with him?

    • They've already had sex!
      2
    • Yeah, she's desperate to f*ck him
      2
    • Yeah, she wants to bang him
      3
    • Maybe
      1
    • Not at all
      0

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roland.o

roland.o

Posted
Posted

You're not giving enough information for a meaningful answer. There seems to be a spark between the two. But we cannot judge how interested your female friend is (to answer "does she want to sleep with him?") nor how interested your male friend is (to answer "anything will happen between them there?"). Some people get their kicks just out of flirting, without the intention of going further.

 

With "male friend", do you mean "just friends" or your boyfriend? What are your feelings in this matter? Curiosity, jealousy, something else? If jealous, of him or of her? Are you considering actions and would like some opinions? Do you feel uncomfortable and are looking for empathy, or ideas that could help you to sort out your feelings? I assume it's not your intention to just gossip about two of your friends that nobody here knows.

 

Anyway: Welcome to the AVEN forums. Have some cake :cake: :-)

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Homer

Homer

Posted
Posted

Genuine question: How does this affect you?

 

This seems to have been going on for quite some time now apparently and given that the relationship between your friend and their SO is not new either, they are probably okay with it. If you really want to be sure, you'll have to ask her personally.

 

[x] abstain

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sarah24

sarah24

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2 hours ago, roland.o said:

You're not giving enough information for a meaningful answer. There seems to be a spark between the two. But we cannot judge how interested your female friend is (to answer "does she want to sleep with him?") nor how interested your male friend is (to answer "anything will happen between them there?"). Some people get their kicks just out of flirting, without the intention of going further.

 

With "male friend", do you mean "just friends" or your boyfriend? What are your feelings in this matter? Curiosity, jealousy, something else? If jealous, of him or of her? Are you considering actions and would like some opinions? Do you feel uncomfortable and are looking for empathy, or ideas that could help you to sort out your feelings? I assume it's not your intention to just gossip about two of your friends that nobody here knows.

 

Anyway: Welcome to the AVEN forums. Have some cake :cake: :-)

I'm just curious. They're both just my friends, and I understand that there's not enough info. I can add some more. The bf hasn't seen any of it since he's not in the group of friends so she's only done this when he's not there. I'm 100% sure she's attracted to him.

 

You could answer the questions based on what I wrote, it's more than enough for me, thx

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nanogretchen4

nanogretchen4

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Posted

The flirtatious behavior you describe is pretty extreme, but if it's been going on for six or seven years already there's no reason to expect anything to change. If your friend actually wanted to sleep with this guy it sounds like she had almost a two year window to get involved with him, but she didn't and instead got together with her current boyfriend. Whatever is happening has been happening for years, and it's not exactly a stealth operation. I find it hard to believe that her boyfriend has had no clue any of this has been going on in public for five years. Either it's all just flirtation that will never go anywhere and her boyfriend knows and doesn't care, or she and her boyfriend have an open relationship and he knows she's having sex with this other guy and doesn't care. Or, is it possible that this guy she always flirts with is flattered but gay? 

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sarah24

sarah24

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54 minutes ago, nanogretchen4 said:

The flirtatious behavior you describe is pretty extreme, but if it's been going on for six or seven years already there's no reason to expect anything to change. If your friend actually wanted to sleep with this guy it sounds like she had almost a two year window to get involved with him, but she didn't and instead got together with her current boyfriend. Whatever is happening has been happening for years, and it's not exactly a stealth operation. I find it hard to believe that her boyfriend has had no clue any of this has been going on in public for five years. Either it's all just flirtation that will never go anywhere and her boyfriend knows and doesn't care, or she and her boyfriend have an open relationship and he knows she's having sex with this other guy and doesn't care. Or, is it possible that this guy she always flirts with is flattered but gay? 

Well the bf isn't in the friend group, and all of these things have happened when he's not been there. He is not gay, no. 

 

What do you think have happened, and any thoughts on the trip?

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nanogretchen4

nanogretchen4

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Posted

I think you don't know for sure what is going on, and should not seek to be any more certain than you already know. If I were in your position and I thought my friend was cheating on her boyfriend, I would probably feel uncomfortable. Maybe I would feel obligated to talk to my friend about it, but then if she denied that there was anything going on but harmless flirtation or told me that she and her boyfriend were not exclusive and he was okay with this, at that point I would just have to take my friend's word. Or maybe I could just give her the benefit of the doubt in the first place. The worst thing that could happen would be if she admitted to me that she was cheating and asked me to help her cover it up because I would probably have to stop being friends with her at least until she got her life back onto a more honorable track. My recommendation is to try not to get involved in anything that may or may not happen on the trip. If her behavior is making you uncomfortable, leave the room if possible or if not then become deeply engrossed in a different conversation or activity and don't watch. Don't discuss her antics with anyone, and play dumb to the maximum extent possible. Pretend you are on a jury, and keep reciting to yourself "innocent until proven guilty". If you did not witness actual sex with your own eyes and neither of the participants confessed to you, then as far as you know nothing happened. Alternatively, if it is going to bother you so much that it is going to ruin your whole trip I guess you could cancel.

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sarah24

sarah24

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Update on the trip to spain: As people were choosing who to share bedrooms with (big house, 2 per each bedroom) they didn't choose anyone, and as a result, were the only ones left without partners. So they are sharing the bedroom for the entire trip for 6-7 days.

 

Can't be good? or?

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roland.o

roland.o

Posted
Posted
On 10/8/2017 at 9:36 PM, sarah24 said:

Can't be good? or?

Define "good"...

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