Samby Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 So, I’m on Tinder (have so far only used it to speak to 1 guy and go on a couple of dates with another in the last 2 years) and I’ve recently updated my bio by putting ‘ace’ in the description, figuring that if people didn’t know what it meant since I put introvert afterwards and it could just mean that I think I’m a pretty good introvert. Part of this is so I can hopefully avoid the ‘booty call’ side of Tinder and another so that, if the person knows what it means, it’s already out in the open and I don’t have to worry about telling them. I suppose the point of this post is to get out my feelings towards this since I’m pretty nervous about it (I’ve always been a little nervous about tinder) since I worry people may know what it means but be the gross person who wants to ‘change’ someone or that someone else might find it and ‘out’ me in a sense (not that it’s a big deal, since logically I believe the friends I’ve not told wouldn’t care), The reason I’m on it is because I struggle meeting people just out and about and my friend has got a very successful relationship using it, so I know it can work. I guess I’m just kinda tired feeling alone? A bit rambly but I just kind of needed to get my thoughts out there! I’m curious if anyone else has used tinder and it has been successful for them? Link to post Share on other sites
felt Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Funnily enough I am using it right now, on one of the rare occasions that someone has matched with me (obviously my handsomeness is too intimidating for everybody), though I'm not sure if the woman is even real since she just has one photo. I am like you, using it more out of feeling alone and wanting a friend. I haven't advertised my aceness and won't, I wonder if there's another way I can just state I want friendship only or no sex without being a bit strange? Do you get a lot of responses? Link to post Share on other sites
swirl_of_blue Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 I've thought of using Tinder, but have hesitated because of its reputation as being almost purely for hookups, and that many messages will be simply harassment. I've reconsidered slightly lately, as my friend (who is not ace) told me it took her three weeks of using the app before she got even the first request for casual sex. I would have thought those would come daily, but it seems that Tinder can be better than its reputation. I still hesitate because I'm demiromantic (and have crushes on two of my friends, though probably nothing will come of those), but I would be curious to see what happens. Though I'm afraid of using any dating sites or apps that require a photo (it feels dangerous somehow for my name and picture to be able to be connected), to the point that I have never posted any of my photos before chatting with someone online for at least a week, so that might be a problem... Link to post Share on other sites
Samby Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 12 hours ago, acesexual7 said: Funnily enough I am using it right now, on one of the rare occasions that someone has matched with me (obviously my handsomeness is too intimidating for everybody), though I'm not sure if the woman is even real since she just has one photo. I am like you, using it more out of feeling alone and wanting a friend. I haven't advertised my aceness and won't, I wonder if there's another way I can just state I want friendship only or no sex without being a bit strange? Do you get a lot of responses? Maybe she was being cautious in not wanting to give too much away? I once saw a guy who said he just wanted to find more a friendship on there matched with him but I don't think we actually spoke since I'm typically too shy to start the conversation so I guess it can work. I'm pretty fussy on tinder since I only go for people who write interesting things in their bios and even then, I need them to at least partly match my interests so I rarely swipe right but in the past two years I've matched with about 5-10 people and a couple of people have spoken I believe? 12 hours ago, swirl_of_blue said: I've thought of using Tinder, but have hesitated because of its reputation as being almost purely for hookups, and that many messages will be simply harassment. I've reconsidered slightly lately, as my friend (who is not ace) told me it took her three weeks of using the app before she got even the first request for casual sex. I would have thought those would come daily, but it seems that Tinder can be better than its reputation. I still hesitate because I'm demiromantic (and have crushes on two of my friends, though probably nothing will come of those), but I would be curious to see what happens. Though I'm afraid of using any dating sites or apps that require a photo (it feels dangerous somehow for my name and picture to be able to be connected), to the point that I have never posted any of my photos before chatting with someone online for at least a week, so that might be a problem... I think in the case of tinder, you just have to be careful like you would with any other dating site i.e should you meet someone from there make sure it's in a public place, tell people where you are etc. but the (sort of) good thing about it is that it just gives name and age and yeah, maybe some people can find you on facebook with them but so long as your facebook privacy settings are good, they shouldn't be able to find out any more about you than you've already given. Link to post Share on other sites
seajams Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 No relationships but I've made a friend as a result of tinder! She has other ace friends and is pretty outgoing/open minded so it was all pretty natural. I think there are people who use tinder just as an inquisitive tool, looking for interesting folks and novel experiences so being openly ace and down to chat at length about it can be cool. I've not had any weird/distressing messages but I know it might be different as a guy. On the other hand I have to swipe left through a sea of duckfaces, selfie filters and gratuitous cleavage to find anyone resembling a decent human being 😔 Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 I have used Tinder and I put in my bio that I want something serious, and then if I feel a connection with someone I let them know about my sexuality. I have been successful with it, it does take some trial and error finding someone. Link to post Share on other sites
_mattfm Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 I do the exact same thing I have tinder though I don't really use it that much (sometime i just want to talk to people lol) and i have in my bio because maybe people that know what it is will be like oh that's "insert thing here" and i need to say nothing lol Link to post Share on other sites
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