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Daily Republic - Should I tell my caring, but nosy, family that I am asexual?

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Advice column



12 Sept 2017



Dear Annie: I am a woman in my mid-20s, and I have known I’m asexual for about five years. This fact doesn’t play a major role in my day-to-day life, but it makes explaining my lack of romantic relationships to my family awkward. Every time I go home to visit, I get the usual questions of whether or not I’ve met anyone. My answer is always no. Though I don’t feel my family members are overly pushy about my relationship status, I know it worries them, and I can see the confusion on their faces. It’s clear they think that either there is something emotionally wrong with me or I’m a closet lesbian. Should I tell them I’m asexual? On one hand, it might help explain things to them and end the questions. On the other, it seems like an overshare of something that should be no one else’s business. I also worry that if I were to disclose this information, I’d get the usual, unhelpful reaction of being told, “It’s just a phase.” “You haven’t met the right man yet.” “Have you talked with a doctor about your hormone levels?” I will soon be going home again and could use some outside perspective on how much of my personal life to disclose. — Not Interested


Dear Not Interested: Listen to your gut – which, based on your letter, seems to be telling you to come out to your family members. Yes, it’s possible they’ll brush it off as you fear. But that’s their problem. All you can do is hope that in time they’ll see you’re serious about this and accept it. Right now, there seems to be a wall up that’s preventing you from being close with them, and I get the feeling you won’t feel fully yourself around them until that wall is down.



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Why don't you make a long post where you link all of these in one place? Even if it's just one post after the other, so that it doesn't clog up the recents box.

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Deus Ex Infinity

Only if it makes you feel better.

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