Georgetown Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 The times I was fake straight and fake pursuing women at bars and clubs were such a blast socially, so much fun. I think coming out as asexual makes it harder to have these awesome life experiences and also makes it harder to find a relationship that can work via compromise, which is far more likely than meeting other asexuals. I wish I had always just been seen by the world as straight or bisexual because I think my life would be in a much better place now. I regret coming out. I think coming out only makes sense if you have very firm or specific desires and don't want to partake in mainstream dating or social culture anyway. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amathy Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 I'm with you. I have no interest in dating but I still wish I never came out. It caused all of my friends and family to treat me differently. Some of this was good and some bad. However, it really just isolated me. I rarely get invited to do social things anymore and friends mostly decline when I invite them to do social things (I think the theory being that I won't enjoy it). Friends who still want to hang out occasionally either ask me about asexuality nonstop or make increasingly sexual jokes to see how uncomfortable they can make me. And things with my family now are just awkward but on the plus side they've stopped asking me about who I am dating. And my friends stopped trying to convince me I'd like sex, which sums up all the good coming out did. I really hate it when people flirt with me but that still happens in the same amount since my friends knew about my no dating policy before I came out and strangers still don't know I'm asexual. When I make new friends one of my old friends tells them I'm asexual eventually. Basically coming out ruined all of my platonic relationships. My life was so much easier when I was just considered quirky and very picky. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 1, 2017 Share Posted October 1, 2017 46 minutes ago, Georgetown said: The times I was fake straight and fake pursuing women at bars and clubs were such a blast socially, so much fun. I think coming out as asexual makes it harder to have these awesome life experiences and also makes it harder to find a relationship that can work via compromise, which is far more likely than meeting other asexuals. I don't really get what one thing has to do with the other. Unless you live in a small town where everyone knows one another, you just go into a bar/club/whatevs and do your thing. You don't wear an "I am asexual" basecap, right? Other than that, coming out or not coming out doesn't change who you are. Your feelings and your mindset are the same one way or the other. You'd still have to work out a way to handle sex in a relationship, whether you apply a term to your feelings or not. re: actual question - I think it's best not to be in any kind of closet in the first place. Why make a big deal about it? It is what it is and the only people really affected by it would be you and a potential partner. It's okay to talk to your peers about this kind of thing as well of course, but you don't have to. I'd say that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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